Identity of Baby P's Mother To Be Revealed Tonight.

[Nancy66]

Along with that of her boyfriend.

I'm loathe to defend or protect her but that can't possibly lead to anything good can it?

The names have been fairly easy to find online for quite a while but there's a hell of a difference between having to actively look for them and having her picture splashed across the front page of The Sun as it undoubtedly will be.

was she part of it, i thought it was her male relative? although he did act, apparently, as a pied piper so it's not unreasonable to wonder if he involved her.

i dunno, maybe she tidied up? we went to the doc a while back and he muttered 'normal bruising' when he saw her summer-battered legs. i asked him what he meant and he said it was just kinda normal practise these days to mentally run through the checklist when you see a kid. he hadn't realised he'd said it out loud.

Maybe r.e the relative. I can imagine TC confusing sex and love. Children need loving touches as do adults. My own sister never kisses or cuddles her DC and I can see them getting screwed up day by day even though there is no actual abuse. She would be exactly like TC not noticing that a child of hers couldn't walk because her parenting mission has always been to imprison the child for as long as possible in car-seats, high chairs and playpens / cots.

You can tidy up I suppose but not to the extent of hiding filth.

Summer-battered legs are normal, yes. Good phrase btw.

Shins, outer thighs and hip bones? My DD has "finger-mark" bruises which develop into large marks with lumps in on the inner thighs and under arms, neck and stomach. God knows how but that is apparently normal for her condition and causes her no pain.

it is my strong suspicion that the filth has been exxaggerated for effect. human faeces might go on the record but if a child isn't having his nappy changed then it's perfectly plausible for there to be some smears of shite on the floor or whatever. (don't get me wrong, not good).

i know a paramedic, he reckons he crunches in and out of a baby p home at least once a week.

DS already managed to bring DD2's Leap Pad down on his spam already, after it was carelessly left by the former on the coffee table.

He's got a bruise on his spam and the top of his left eye from that.

Grrr.

his spam? is that americano?

nope, never heard the word in my life until heard DH using it.

it's his forehead.

DS is getting into everything already!

Swear-filter already MN?

Lack of empathy - there's a reason.

Current neuro psychological research into how the brain develops in neglected/abused children. MRI scans show gaps where the parts of the brain that develop empathy are.

Obviously more complicated than my descriptions but more evidence of how abused become abusers.

Lack of empathy is a huge huge problem in society. Explains why idiot young men set their dogs on each other, why men batter women and children, even explains the anti-social behaviour of pissed up lads on a night out.

At this rate, we'll develop into a nation of sociopaths.

There has to be at least a little proper research on the matter of what interventions have what long term outcomes. It is no good simply cranking up the adoption machine without looking at the high proportion of disrupted adoptions.

I think it's all rather sad. I know a few people who have had their children on the 'at risk' register. One who was brought up in care who had her first child taken off her because she didn't know how to look after him, her 'mum' (foster mum )adopted him, but I can't help but wonder why she was so keen to take him, yet not help her daughter look after him. The second was a single mum with 4 kids who didn't have a clue, she needed someone to be there for her, and anyone would do. There was a string of men all as bad as the rest, but no one seemed to recognise this. When I saw the story of shannon matthews it was just so like her, they both needed a man and the kids were second to this. Obviously as not much has really been said yet about baby peters mum yet, we can only speculate, but I think perhaps she was the same, she needed the boyfriend and would never speak out about him for fear of being alone. Perhaps more support could have been given so these people don't feel alone and don't have to resort to men who can't be trusted.I am a single mum and know how lonely life can be, but I would never be desperate enough to jeopardise my kids lives with these type of men. In fact it makes me very wary and don't expect ever to live with another man while my children are children.

I was brought up in 'care' and as a consequence, I had a Social Worker up until I was nearly 21. I found this very odd, as my other fostered siblings didn't have a social worker in the background except me.

She would come down from London (nearly 200 miles away) on train every month. It really did feel like she was snooping. When my daugther was born, she came down 2 days later and I felt so on the spot. As if she was waiting for me to 'slip up'.

To cut a (very) long story short, she found a mark on my daughter's back and came to the conclusion that my partner (my daughter's dad) must have been abusing her. That day was the worst in my life. She told me they were going to put my daughter on the at-risk register and even my health visitor backed her up!! It was a mongolian fecking blue spot!! Cue the 'case' being dropped and her being 'transferred' to someone elses care. I confronted the health visitor and she told me she felt 'pressured' into making a statement. She actually started crying!!

I have so much resentment for Social Services, in my opinion they bark up the wrong tree. When she was questioned about why I still had a social worker, she said it was to help me find my 'natural' family. What a load of dog poo. Whenever I asked about my family, she always said 'sorry, I can't tell you that, it's confidential'. There must have been someone looking down on me as I was on the verge of suicide

Oh and I was brought up in a fantastic foster family. The best anyone could wish for

In general social terms I am not surprised at the lack of empathy, because we have had more than 10 years of a government telling people that everyone (including them) is uncontrollable, and the enemy, and in need of constant supervision and instruction. The huge level of surveillance is a massive contributing factor to street disorder and social problems: everyone who works in mental health care knows that a feeling of being watched all the time sends people nuts. If you tell people they are bad and stupid and violent and treat them as if they are bad and stupid and violent, guess what! Many of them will become bad, stupid and violent.

Children don't have 'accidents' any more, everything and everyone is suspect. My 4 year old had his foot run over, the driver stopped, he was brought in by ambulance. Yet I was asked so many times if I was sure that is what happened, were there any witnesses and so on. I felt like I was being accused!

Well we can't have it both ways!