This story about the Plymouth nursery is worrying

[crumpet]

I hope it's not as serious as it sounds
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/8090790.stm

This story has made me feel physically sick, particularly the fact that photos were taken at the nursery. At the press conference today a question was asked about CRB checks and this woman's work history. Apparently she had only been in childcare 3 years which may be interesting bearing in mind her age (quite old to have made the move into nursery care).

I wonder if there is a whole bigger picture to come out. How upsetting for the poor families with children at that nursery.

Can I ask a question (sorry if it is a repeat)?
Sorry if it is phrased crassly, I am trying to organise my thoughts on this one...

If a baby/toddler is sexually abused do they remember? I haven't looked at the details of this case (too chilling) but I assume it must have been inappropriate acts rather than anything that was physically damaging (only because the parents would have noticed)?
Will they forget? I hope so.
Those poor parents and their poor children.

The likelyhood is that they will not remember, but if their parents remember and talk about it etc then they will be aware.

This is awful, not only for the children and parents but I also feel for the wonderful nursery workers that DO exist working in Nurseries because this will effect them too.
Whole thing, awful.

I am absolutely mortified! my daughter is on the cusp of going to nursery...and i fear not any more...am concerned about crb checks and their validity - and agree that there ought to be ongoing checks...i wonder if there is a survey - i know nothing about peadophilia - but a way of asking specific questions and knowing if someone has a propesnity to something like that> that could be done?
i've been thinking about home schooling my little on e- and feel even more pro that idea than ever before! the fact that she's a woman completely blows out of the water the perception that paedophiles (sp?) are only ever male!! i am sickened by this and hope that all the children affected (from news reports those affected are unidentifiable - as it's all torso shots) and their parents receive appropriate counselling....my heart goes out to them!

I believe there are some theories that children can retain a kind of 'bodily memory' but i don't really know.

As has already been said, it is possible for children to make a good recovery with the right support.

When I was doing my teaching prac I rememer a programme on the telly where the mother was a absing the dauhter. Can't remmeber what it was called but it was on mainstream telly. Remmeebr discussing it withe the lecturers at the time and how it shocked me. Years later a girl broke down in class, I took her outsdie nad it turned out her mother had been abusing her fo ryears. I knew it ocyuld happen and so took the approipriate steps. We don't expect this from women but it does happen

semi this is so incredibly rare. Think about the millions of children who have been through nursery.

Semi, it has never been a fact that only men can do things like this. It has been an unwillingness of the media to report females. Do not class all adults who are in childcare as being bad. At which point will you let your children out into the world.
Unfortunately it is a big bad world and you can not protect your children forever. It is better to teach them how to avoid it in the first place.
I am most def not trying to dig at you but it would be so sad for you to make decisions based upon such an isolated event.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if this sort of thing was carried out just for the money rather than the sexual gratification. Perhaps those kind of pictures sell for a lot of money, who knows

Most paedophiles are men - but there are women paedophiles too. They are more likely to commit offences against boys.

There is quite a lot of controversial research been carried out - but there is a lot of truth in it. I won't bore you with the details.

All I can say is I feel for the victims and their families and hope they get the best possible support.

I think it depends on the abuse,the amount of times the abuse occured and obviously the age of the child.

If the parents of the victims get the right support and counselling in how to deal with the abuse within the family unit,the children will no doubt grow up happy and healthy.

Who is to say what memories each child will retain.

I remember my abuse at the age of 3.

semi - the CRB system IS changing to allow ongoing checks and I am sure after this there will be a huge and swift response to this situation

Poshwellies. You too. I am sorry this happened to you.

It just goes to show how wide spread it is.

We must look after the children in our society better. How can we keep letting this happen?

semi-sleep on this dont make important decisions based on a vile minority act

there is no such thing a risk free childhood

they will fall off bike
cant stop our children going to school meeting adult staff
someone will pick on them
walking home alone
having overnight stays with friends

managed risk (and talking about it) is essential to robustly develop coping strategies.as parents we need to acknowledge risk but not get consumed by risk

cant wrap them in cotton wool
we take care do our best

Does anyone else think it strange that she went to the trouble of obscuring the childrens faces (if indeed it was her) but allowed herself to be in them, wearing her nursery logo t shirt.

Maybe it's a mistake

I have spoken to my children from a very young age that if they are touched or spoken to in such a way that makes them feel bad or 'wierd'(I always used to think I felt wierd/odd when my abuse happened) then they should tell me, be it anyone ie teacher/neighbour/any members of the family/someone in the street etc.

Children who can vocalise usually are too scared or feel its normal behaviour so don't speak out.

We need to educate our children that abuse isn't normal and that it's ok to 'tell'.

pw very very good point.

This is such a sad, sad story.

There was something on one of the headlines that stated the nursery also had a breakfast club for the under 11's so no confirmation of age of the children involved. I feel for the families, the not knowing must be awful

yes it is never too young to instill body safety and ability to tell

even if told not to

It actually isn't true that they won't remember - there is every chance that a toddler will remember.

I was sexually abused from the age of 2. I'm 32 now but I still recall the first time it happened as if it were yesterday.

It has nothing to do with people talking about it, my parents didn't even find out until I was 14.

I can only speak from my own experience and I guess remembering would be linked to how often it happened to each particular child but retaining something so traumatic as a memory is definitely possible.

My heart is breaking for these kids and their parents.

I had psychotherapy when I was a teenager to help me to come to terms with what had happened in my childhood.
My psychotherapist told me once that sexual abuse is rarely about sexual gratification and more about control.

I don't think it matters why, the sheer fact that an adult could violate a child to the degree that she allegedly has makes me sick to my stomach.

Why are there so many bad people in the world? I struggle to make sense of it all.

You cannot predict a child's mind and the memories that can unfold as you gain age and maturity.

I agree Tangerine,about the control.

Sorry you suffered too.

Children often remember traumatic or highly significant incidents, even if very young. It's psychologically proven.

what is important is how the recollections are dealt with.developing coping strategies and blame free way for child to feel contained and safe and make transition to adolescence and adulthood

it is achievable and people can and do heal and have maeningful lives

abuse is largely about power and control over someone else perpetrated by abuser

A while ago someone recommended a good book to read with young children, I think it helped to get across how (as someone has already mentioned above) that if someone makes you feel weird or whatever then its the right thing to tell someone, etc

Sorry for the rambling but I wondered if anyone remembered the name of it?

I was talking to ds (3) yesterday and I tried my best to explain but I wasnt sure I said the right things/if theres a better way of explaining it.