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Original poster

I never wanted this many children. I wanted babies.

90 replies

TrillianAstra · 18/02/2009 11:39

Another 'is it bad for the environment to have more than 2 chidren from the BBC website 'magazine' (which I quite like) but what really gets me is this quote:

"I never wanted this many children. I wanted babies. They got to a certain age and I wanted another. I love newborn babies"
says Emma who has 6 children aged 10 and under

Isn't this a bit like loving kittens and ending up with 20 cats because they don't stay as kittens for long?

And how would your children feel if you said you really only wanted babies (small, nonverbal beings) and that now they can talk and have personailties you're not so keen?

Or am I being a bit harsh here?

OP posts:
lockets · 18/02/2009 14:41

This reply has been deleted

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hippipotamiHasLostThreePounds · 18/02/2009 14:42

ok then.

Lulumama · 18/02/2009 14:43

oooh, have never been bad !

seriously, it was not a malicious outing.

NorthernLurker · 18/02/2009 14:44

Lulu - you bad thing! Hope you guys don't mind me reporting it - I just wasn't comforatble with it.

belgo · 18/02/2009 14:45

ah thought I recognised the photo.

Original poster
TrillianAstra · 18/02/2009 14:46

So... babies. They're just like small un-furry animals really right? What's so great about them? Is it one of these hormonal things? I'd rather have a kitten, it's more interactive and the poos are smaller.

OP posts:
lockets · 18/02/2009 14:47

This reply has been deleted

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belgo · 18/02/2009 14:48

I'm sure Emma Quinton in the article has been misquoted, or at least not everything she has said has been published, but I do understand that feeling of just wanting more and more babies, and if she can afford it, then why not?

Original poster
TrillianAstra · 18/02/2009 14:52

I guess there's a big difference between 'I didn't originally want this many children' and 'I don't want this many children but my addiction to tiny babies just got out of hand'

OP posts:
Geepers · 18/02/2009 14:53

I kind of feel the same. I would love a dozen children because I love having a newborn in the house.

My home feels different with a baby in it - more homely and familish if you know what I mean?

Obviously I love all my children, but it's the newborn, breastfeeding, dependency stage that I really adore and love.

bratnav · 18/02/2009 14:54

I recognise it too, but I cannot remember her posting name, but I know an element of it IYSWIM.

Lulumama · 18/02/2009 14:56

i like newborns, but not enough to keep having them. i don;t have the patience, time, money or space . i know my limitations and 2 is enough for me

i think people have big families for all sorts of reasons and if the reason is due to loving small babies, but the children are loved and cared for throughout hteir childhood, then that is fine

isn;t it?

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 18/02/2009 15:01

I lke newborns, but have only had the one and am too old to have any more. I have sometimes thought of fostering babies as a way of enjoying the baby stage without a) having more DC than I could cope with or that the world could sustain and b) having to go through the tricky-toddler stage...

BCNS · 18/02/2009 15:06

I like other peoples newborns and babies.. as you get to hand them back after a cuddle.

with my own.. I've never not liked a stage.. no matter how hard work.. I just can't help looking at them and thinking WOW!

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 18/02/2009 15:40

I'm really surprised that people are taken aback by this. I would have thought it was a fairly standard feeling. It's something I've often said, or words to that effect.

I got pregnant the first time because I wanted to have an offspring. I didn't know enough about babies or children to be specific - it was just a general feeling of wanting more people than just dp and I in the family.

The second time was quite simply because dd wasn't a baby any more and I got broody for another baby.

Ds is still a baby, so I'm not currently broody. As soon as he's not a baby any more I bet I'll be broody for the next.

Isn't that the way we're programmed?

It doesn't mean I don't love my children fiercely when they're not babies any more. Quite the opposite in fact - I know them then and love them for the people they are. Also, the older they get the more I have invested and the better I know them so the more I love them.

But I would never think "ooh, I fancy another 2-year-old in the family" because I don't know that hypothetical 2-year-old. Wanting a baby is far more primal.

AMumInScotland · 18/02/2009 16:29

Not sure how other people are programmed, but I wanted an offspring and have never felt broody for another. I didn't want "a baby" and have never felt that feeling again since. I guess people differ in when the broody feeling stops - some after one, some after more, some never having it in the first place.

I don't think that feeling broody, and wanting more babies, is a bad thing, it's just the way it was quoted in this article, which I think we all agree may be giving a very different impression from what the lady actually said.

A few of us on here have met people who really did lose interest in their children once they were past the baby stage, and I think that's what we're reacting to, rather than this specific person who we don't know the full details of.

kittywise · 18/02/2009 17:00

It's me she was quoting

It's bloody shocking isn't it.

I spoke to that journo in good faith.

I never said that to her. She has mis-quoted me and misrepresented me and I have contacted her asking for an apology.

it reminds me of that Rita Skeeter in harry Potter, the bloody write whatever they want

kittywise · 18/02/2009 17:06

Remember ladies as you sit here and bitch, what you read in the papers is mostly crap.

I can understand how 'famous' people get so riled by what they read about themselves, things they are supposed to have said and done.

It's all twisted, like chopping up someone's sentence and rearranging it to make a completely new sentence, but because you've still used that person's words you can still say that they said it?

No, they didn't say it.

I stupidly thought a BBC journo might be straight up and trust worthy, it appears not, how sad.

Barking.

lockets · 18/02/2009 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Lulumama · 18/02/2009 17:11

kitty, i posted earlier i presumed it was misquote / out of context/ sensationalised

sorry you have been upset.

kittywise · 18/02/2009 17:19

Thanks, lockets and lulu. Actually I have just been on the phone to her.

She claims she quoted me word for word. I don't believe that.

She is going to alter the piece as she says she can understand how people will take it the wrong way.

I told her, yes, all of those things are true.

I did want more babies, yes I do love newborns, but those are NOT the reasons WHY I have lots of children.

I also find babies a real drag and very hard work.

I'm actually enjoying being with my older children more than my little ones

You are asked leading questions of course.........!

Ah well, serves me right for being such a media tart

belgo · 18/02/2009 17:22

Kitty - sorry you have been upset. It was fairly obvious it was you, and I did think you had been misquoted. You expect that with the Daily Mail, but you wouldn't really expect that with the BBC?

ANyway, lovely photo

Lulumama · 18/02/2009 17:22

i think it is far better from a selling papers POV to portray those with large families as slightly feckless, thoughtless and having some misguided reason for having a large family

even if that is not an accurate reflection of the truth

kittywise · 18/02/2009 17:22

Do I have to change my name and profile now?

kittywise · 18/02/2009 17:27

The thing is, if I change, everyone will know it is me anyway, eventually because of pictures, details etc, won't they?

And if I change names no one I know will know who I am initially and they will say "is that you Kitty?" and then I will have to explain everything etc.

What do you all reckon?What would you do?