Evil mother who killed son, 5, to spite her ex left note saying: 'I told you I would make you pay'

[yerblurt]

Link here;
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1040170/Evil-mother-killed-son-5-spite-ex-left-note-s aying-I-told-I-make-pay.html

Evil mother who killed son, 5, to spite her ex left note saying: 'I told you I would make you pay'

An evil mother driven by rage and jealousy killed her five-year-old son to spite his father, a horrified coroner heard yesterday.

Emma Hart, 27, force-fed Lewis Dangerfield a lethal cocktail of painkillers and antidepressants at their home, then fled to her mother's flat nearby and ended her own life by slashing her wrists.

In a note to Lewis's father, Shaun Dangerfield, which she left by the boy's body, she wrote: 'I told you I would make you pay, enjoy your life now, nothing is stopping you, ha ha ha. Just remember it's all your fault.'
Lewis Dangerfield
Emma Hart

Spite: Lewis Dangerrfield was given a fatal dose of sleeping pills before his mother Emma Hart slashed her wrists

Coroner Robin Balmain described the case as the most distressing he had ever dealt with in 25 years of inquests. 'I can't imagine something quite so evil as a mother who is prepared to do that.

'Her actions were simply spite - she was prepared to kill her son to spite Mr Dangerfield. I find it difficult to believe how anybody could do that.'

He added that he had heard no evidence to justify any criticism of Mr Dangerfield - not even from Hart's family.

'He has done everything he possibly could to fulfil his obligations to his little boy.

'She couldn't get her way and maybe she was driven by jealousy. She was prepared not only to kill herself but to do something that quite frankly, beggars belief.'

During the inquest at Smethwick, West Midlands, 27-year- old Mr Dangerfield broke down in tears as a policewoman read Hart's last note to him and had to leave the hearing to compose himself.

Giving evidence, he said Hart was troubled and hate-filled during their four-year on-off relationship, was often violent towards him and had repeatedly threatened to commit suicide.

After they separated, she was unhappy about his new partner, who also had a child, and resented Lewis spending time with them.

Hart had also lied to friends about having cancer in an attempt to gain sympathy and force Mr Dangerfield to go back to her, the inquest heard.

He had received a text from her days before the deaths which read: 'I know what to do now for the best x'. He had thought at the time it was an 'amicable' response to a disagreement they had over Lewis's custody arrangements.
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But then on a weekend in December last year when he was due to look after Lewis, Hart changed the arrangements saying she was taking him to see Santa Claus.

On the Saturday afternoon, she took a taxi to her mother's home in Tipton and told her family that Lewis was out with his father.

But at 7pm her mother Lynn found her body in her bed, covered in blood with cut wrists.

In a note left by the bed she said she was sorry for taking her own life and confessed to killing Lewis.

It read: 'I'm so sorry for taking Lewis and me away, I just can't take it any more, I'm just not strong enough.'

Police went to Hart's house, where they found Lewis's body on a double bed covered with a duvet. Empty packets of prescription drugs were at the bedside.

Toxicologist Dr Timothy Sheehan said Lewis had consumed nearly ten times the recommended dose of the painkiller Tranadol and antidepressants.

The disturbing note, which his mother had addressed to Mr Dangerfield, also read: 'Did you really think I was going to die and allow you to bring Lewis up and play happy families with you?

'You made your choice, now you can live with it, you can hurt for the rest of your life just like the hell you have put me through the last two years.'

In another note to her family, found next to Lewis, Hart said: 'If you are asking why, look no further than Shaun - a pathetic excuse for a dad. I can't handle it any more - I have been the only one there for Lewis, so it's only right he is with me.

'Don't give Shaun anything - I love you all very much. I had to do it, I couldn't take no more, none of you could have stopped this. Don't none of you blame yourselves.'

Mr Balmain recorded a verdict of suicide for Hart as a result of slitting her wrists but said she had also taken lethal overdoses of morphine, painkillers and antidepressants.

A verdict of unlawful killing was recorded for Lewis.

He said: 'Emma Hart left a note which was severely critical of Mr Dangerfield. I have heard no evidence to justify that view.

The coroner added that Hart was driven by 'rage and hatred if she did not get her own way' and was prepared to lie about her medical condition to Mr Dangerfield - as well as friends and her own family - 'to get control' over him.

Relatives of Hart, including her mother, father, two brothers and two sisters, were all present at the inquest and frequently broke into tears.

Her mother told the inquest: 'She is not a horrible person, she was a loving mum.'

After the hearing, Mr Dangerfield said in a statement: 'Losing the biggest part of your life is haunting to say the least.
'Being told today the exact reasons as to how he was murdered won't bring him back but does bring it to an end.'

... so it's only men who kill their children out of spite is it? No sign of mental illness here, just pure spite and selfishness.

Well ladies what struck me as soon as I read this article this morning was the language used. I'm surprised no-one else picked up on the nastiness of it. The mother is described as 'evil' and it was an act of 'spite'.Whereas I haven't seen this language used when fathers kill their children. Take a look at some back issues of news stories, the language used is...

Father killed 'as act of defiance'

The coroner described the case as "heart-rending and sorrowful".

"My mind was affected by an overwhelming feeling of sorrow and sympathy for all who must be directly or indirectly affected by these terrible events," he said.

Leaving the hearing, Mrs Carter said the triple killing and suicide was an "unbelievably selfish act".

TYpical let's have a go at mothers...but fathers are not so bad?

Really disgraceful!

not suggesting she had PD. clarifying that personality traits differ from PD

for some people the diagnostic understanding and symptomatic explanation can be a great relief and explanation of hard to understand experience, thoughts, behaviour

don't agree that poor coping skills are necessarily medicalised - that demonises psychiatry as oppressive and stereotypical

I think there is a kind of madness in a refusal to see that some people do bad things out of spite and hatred, not because they can't help themselves.
Men kill women all the time because the women reject them. Men even kill their children to hurt the woman who has rejected them. This is just the same, as her own words make entirely clear. She has explained her motive herself.

I agree personality disorder as a concept can be useful to some.

However current psychiatry services coupled with the general climate of avoiding risk at all costs means that poor coping skills (be it self harm, alcohol/ drug abuse, violence, anger and anti social behaviour generally) are increasingly medicalised with increasing onus on psychiatry services to act as a government AND general public policeman.

You only have to look at the new mental health act to see the writing on the wall.

If nothing else this is at best not helpful, and at worse detrimental to patients who can spend years in services often on multiple medications. The involvement of psychiatry and the blurring of mental illness boundaries is of little help to anyone.

psychiatry is not social dog catcher, far from it.actually getting admission to psych hospital invoves assessment of severity and degree of illness and an ASW and Second opinion independent doctor.in fact there is severe shortage of acute admission beds

dont confuse, cost savings with psychiatry.thesse are trust driven initiatives not clinical imperatives

the new MHA is indeed contentious don't assume all professionals/psychiatrists agree with it.the professional bodies have been vociferous in discussion

psychiatry is not the police. police is about law enforcement and statue. psychiatry is treatment and diagnosis

they do cross over eg forensics but from different ideological standpoint

can you specifically say what irks?

Well, yeah, Teacher: she's just as much of a shit as the men who do this. It's a lot rarer in women but it doesn't make it any more acceptable or understandable. It is probably the lowest form of behaviour there is.

Before I continue I should make it clear I am a psychiatrist working in the NHS and yes the practice of psychiatry and the daily contact and treatment of patients is immensely rewarding.

However it is increasing difficult to separate out trust protocols/ governmental targets from the actual day to day basis of practising medicine.

You mention the need for assessment prior to admission but the likelihood of admission is very much driven now by RISK rather than degree and severity of illness. The community is now filled with quite seriously unwell patients which would be better served by a brief and intensive admission to hospital rather than a late admission following a prolonged deterioration (likely under section by that point).

Of course psychiatry should not be a policeman of the state however that is the way the government is pushing this.

Who bears the responsibility for unpredictable antisocial behaviour? Who should be predicting this? Who should be preempting this behaviour with 'treatment' and enforced admissions? Not the government.

The medicalisation of these issues and the fanning of public anxiety over risks has allowed the government to ease responsibility over to medicine. Yes the profession has been vocal and put its point across but we are still hostages to the legislation once imposed.

solid, yes you're right but the woman was honest as to her motive - spite - whereas most men blame the mother, as if they were 'driven ' to it(implying its the woman's fault the men did it!). I just wish the media used the same language for the 'defiant' men.

lol ScottishMummy, I have a pile in a bag I'm trying not to read in a bored moment (they do have a really good offer on at the moment with the DVDs!)

not sure about hostages, certainly one interprets.psychiatry is always tainted with covert detention/imprisonment stain

but can be compassionaye and liberal too

the risk issue is pertinent and impacts but what about other responses such as AOT, Crisis team and EIS all aiming to prevent admission and manage (safe) risk in community.vast majority of psych pts successfully mamnaged by GP and cmht

imo if anything is shaping admission rates it is trusts imperative to save money, attain foundation status, and cut corner's.

not clinical driven - wholly financial

Sadly though you cant separate out financial issues from clinical decisions after a point

ie "i think that you would be best treated by ahh trust/ pharmacy/ PCT/ NICE etc etc wont allow it. Right...what does the protocol say you are allowed to have?"

Crisis teams can be very useful but it has reached the point where they are simply being used to gatekeep the few remaining beds the trust hasn't shut down.

Hence the moderately depressed patient vs the pd patient threatening to kill themselves or others will always get admitted. Not a clinical decision or even in their best interests.

Depending on what beds are available the smae patient may be admitted or treated in the community. Again not a clinical decision. The risks which are being managed are ridiculous and not fair on the team or the patients.

You can try and negotiate through the morass of protocols/ dictats/ risk assessments to try and do the best for your patient but it is harder and harder to separate out the everyday practice of psychiatry from financial/ political imperatives

LOL there da rub.financial constraints trying to determine good clinical practice.essentially two divergent views trying to co-exist.unhappily

So poor coping skills are not necessarily indicative of a personality disorder?

What do you think about coping skills then? IT is presumably up to our parents to teach us coping skills, or something we should learn through experience?

Coping skills are odd though. In some societies coping with grief means crying, in others coping with grief means sleeping. Do you think wrong coping skills are learned behaviour?

So poor coping skills are not necessarily indicative of a personality disorder?

What do you think about coping skills then? IT is presumably up to our parents to teach us coping skills, or something we should learn through experience?

Coping skills are odd though. In some societies coping with grief means crying, in others coping with grief means sleeping. Do you think wrong coping skills are learned behaviour?

That poor little boy. Too heartbreaking to think of his trust and defenceless being betrayed in this way.

These crimes are the product of all the worst human afflictions, spite, revenge, malice, control and of course pure evil.

Men commit many more such crimes, but as in this case, women can do so as well.

Mental illness could be said to be anything outside the normal range of negative behaviours, but the people in these cases seem to know what they are doing imo.

'Medicalisation of poor coping skills/ socially unacceptable behaviour/ personality traits or disorder does not help anyone.

It instead removes the internal locus of control rendering the person helpless, instead often reliant on medication and the label of 'mental illness'.'

This statement particularly from a psychiatrist really worries me - please can you clarify what you mean Jeepers, because from here it sounds an awful lot like you are saying 'People with a 'psychiatric/ psychological problem' are hiding behind a new fangled label and need to stop blaming something out of their control and sort themselves out'.

In what way do you consider the internal locus of control is removed, when (I would argue) it is not really in place initially with some of these people?

I dont think that anyone has said that people with a personality disorder are hiding behind a label.

It is a controversial diagnosis at best, and not one patients are asking for.

Attributing normal experiences to mental illness is unhelpful because it reduces whatever feelings of control a person may have for their own internal state.

But thats the point! people with these sort of issues feel helpless, the locus of control is very much outside themselves. To then medicalise their problem, to instead fixate on medication, admission etc this simply reinforces their lack of control continuing the vicious cycle.

Its certainly not a matter of them pulling themselves together, rather a process of looking at themselves, their place in the world and how their responses/thought patterns to other people/situations is affecting their everyday lives. By looking at this people can begin to realise they have a part to play in changing their lives. Loci of control can change.

By contrast focusing on labels, medication (which may have a part to play tho) and the chance of exploring the above is gone. The responsibility has been handed to the prescriber "everything will be fine once i'm given the correct medication". This in the long term leads to anger/ frustration/ disengagement when things dont change.

I think the above is particularly pertinent to personality issues but also has its place within mental illness, for example depression, where thought processes, life style relationships etc all have their part to play in someone getting unwell/ getting better and staying better.

I see it more as a collaborative process with both the patient and doctor having responsibilities and their part to play in improving someones life for the better.

Umm sounds a bit earnest written down like that, but i hope you get thge gist. Its quite hard to get what i want to say across clearly!

I agree re the medication, of course - see what you're getting at now - I would refuse AD's till the end of time, having been offered them plenty of times to avoid having another name on the waiting list for psychotherapy.

However I was thinking of people who genuinely have a disorder that means they really are out of control, can't bring that locus into themselves, ie it's pathological etc.

That was what confused me, I didn't understaidn how these people could be enabled to change their lives if there was something intrinsic preventing that in the first place.

Think we are basically on the same side here
Thanks for explaining.

'Im fed up with the sentiment that men who kill are evil bastards but that women who kill have to be mentally ill, are women now reduced to always being victims who are therefore devoid of any responsibility for their actions?'

• totally agree with this statement.

Why on earth should anyone imagine there's 'one rule' for fathers and a different one for mothers? It sounds as though this woman killed her son out of pure, evil spite.

"people with these sort of issues feel helpless, the locus of control is very much outside themselves. To then medicalise their problem, to instead fixate on medication, admission etc this simply reinforces their lack of control continuing the vicious cycle"

Well said jeepers and thanks for your excellent posts.

This woman did not take responsibility, her locus of control outside herself was her ex. He was too blame and she punished him ultimately by taking their sons life.
"Did you think I was going to die and allow you to bring Lewis up and play happy families?
"You made your choice, now you can live with it. You can hurt for the rest of your life.
"I told you I would make you pay. Enjoy your life now. Nothing is stopping you. Ha ha ha. Just remember, it's all your fault."

IMO people need to accept responsibility for themselves, accept life can be tough, stop being victims and stop punishing others if things do not go their way.

I guess it's the difference between someone with a mental cold and someone with the mental equivalent of diabetes (I always think that it's a nice disease to parallel on).

People get a cold and go to the GP for AB's. The GP can either educate the patient on how to handle a cold - treat the symptoms etc - without AB's or just hand them over for an easy life.

We all get down from time to time and often all it needs is someone to help them to deal with the situation and understand how they can cope with whats happening.

But then there are some people who have something physically wrong with them which is seen as a mental health issue - whether that is long term depression or a PD. They do need looking after and long term care.

I don't agree with the comment about people not wanting to be diagnosed with a PD. I have been given notes over again for "depression" which I've never felt is quite right. I have friends with serious mental health problems who have said they didn't think I was depressed there is something else going on. I saw on my file that I have a diagnosis of a PD, I went away and looked it up, I was actually relieved to find out that there was actually something wrong with me beyond being told for the majority of my life I'm depressed. I found out two years ago that I'm autoimmune and it explained a lot of random things, the PD explains the rest. Knowing there are two things wrong with me that make me like I am and it's not that I'm a liar or mad has been the best thing that has happened in my life!

Next trick is to find out what the second diagnosis on my file is, there were two but it took all my time to read the first one at the angle and distance!

LOL can't believe how much detail I've gone into, I'd planned on keeping it quiet as much as possible.

" so it's only men who kill their children out of spite is it? No sign of mental illness here, just pure spite and selfishness"

Goodness yerblurt, I didn't realise you were a qualified psychiatrist with access to the mother's medical records and clinical history

A dreadful and horrific thing that the mother did - but you can't make conclusions about spite and selfishness

I don't think anyone really needs to be a psychiatrist to see that this "mother" was anything but selfish and acted out of spite. The notes left by "mother" more than indicate that

...what a fatuous comment to make handlemecarefully.

It's beyond me that people are rishing to understand this woman. Her actions were extremely cruel and spiteful.

Why do we always rush to to say people who do these things must be under strain or mentally ill?

The poor little boy, and his poor Dad. What he must be going through