Evil mother who killed son, 5, to spite her ex left note saying: 'I told you I would make you pay'

[yerblurt]

Link here;
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1040170/Evil-mother-killed-son-5-spite-ex-left-note-s aying-I-told-I-make-pay.html

Evil mother who killed son, 5, to spite her ex left note saying: 'I told you I would make you pay'

An evil mother driven by rage and jealousy killed her five-year-old son to spite his father, a horrified coroner heard yesterday.

Emma Hart, 27, force-fed Lewis Dangerfield a lethal cocktail of painkillers and antidepressants at their home, then fled to her mother's flat nearby and ended her own life by slashing her wrists.

In a note to Lewis's father, Shaun Dangerfield, which she left by the boy's body, she wrote: 'I told you I would make you pay, enjoy your life now, nothing is stopping you, ha ha ha. Just remember it's all your fault.'
Lewis Dangerfield
Emma Hart

Spite: Lewis Dangerrfield was given a fatal dose of sleeping pills before his mother Emma Hart slashed her wrists

Coroner Robin Balmain described the case as the most distressing he had ever dealt with in 25 years of inquests. 'I can't imagine something quite so evil as a mother who is prepared to do that.

'Her actions were simply spite - she was prepared to kill her son to spite Mr Dangerfield. I find it difficult to believe how anybody could do that.'

He added that he had heard no evidence to justify any criticism of Mr Dangerfield - not even from Hart's family.

'He has done everything he possibly could to fulfil his obligations to his little boy.

'She couldn't get her way and maybe she was driven by jealousy. She was prepared not only to kill herself but to do something that quite frankly, beggars belief.'

During the inquest at Smethwick, West Midlands, 27-year- old Mr Dangerfield broke down in tears as a policewoman read Hart's last note to him and had to leave the hearing to compose himself.

Giving evidence, he said Hart was troubled and hate-filled during their four-year on-off relationship, was often violent towards him and had repeatedly threatened to commit suicide.

After they separated, she was unhappy about his new partner, who also had a child, and resented Lewis spending time with them.

Hart had also lied to friends about having cancer in an attempt to gain sympathy and force Mr Dangerfield to go back to her, the inquest heard.

He had received a text from her days before the deaths which read: 'I know what to do now for the best x'. He had thought at the time it was an 'amicable' response to a disagreement they had over Lewis's custody arrangements.
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But then on a weekend in December last year when he was due to look after Lewis, Hart changed the arrangements saying she was taking him to see Santa Claus.

On the Saturday afternoon, she took a taxi to her mother's home in Tipton and told her family that Lewis was out with his father.

But at 7pm her mother Lynn found her body in her bed, covered in blood with cut wrists.

In a note left by the bed she said she was sorry for taking her own life and confessed to killing Lewis.

It read: 'I'm so sorry for taking Lewis and me away, I just can't take it any more, I'm just not strong enough.'

Police went to Hart's house, where they found Lewis's body on a double bed covered with a duvet. Empty packets of prescription drugs were at the bedside.

Toxicologist Dr Timothy Sheehan said Lewis had consumed nearly ten times the recommended dose of the painkiller Tranadol and antidepressants.

The disturbing note, which his mother had addressed to Mr Dangerfield, also read: 'Did you really think I was going to die and allow you to bring Lewis up and play happy families with you?

'You made your choice, now you can live with it, you can hurt for the rest of your life just like the hell you have put me through the last two years.'

In another note to her family, found next to Lewis, Hart said: 'If you are asking why, look no further than Shaun - a pathetic excuse for a dad. I can't handle it any more - I have been the only one there for Lewis, so it's only right he is with me.

'Don't give Shaun anything - I love you all very much. I had to do it, I couldn't take no more, none of you could have stopped this. Don't none of you blame yourselves.'

Mr Balmain recorded a verdict of suicide for Hart as a result of slitting her wrists but said she had also taken lethal overdoses of morphine, painkillers and antidepressants.

A verdict of unlawful killing was recorded for Lewis.

He said: 'Emma Hart left a note which was severely critical of Mr Dangerfield. I have heard no evidence to justify that view.

The coroner added that Hart was driven by 'rage and hatred if she did not get her own way' and was prepared to lie about her medical condition to Mr Dangerfield - as well as friends and her own family - 'to get control' over him.

Relatives of Hart, including her mother, father, two brothers and two sisters, were all present at the inquest and frequently broke into tears.

Her mother told the inquest: 'She is not a horrible person, she was a loving mum.'

After the hearing, Mr Dangerfield said in a statement: 'Losing the biggest part of your life is haunting to say the least.
'Being told today the exact reasons as to how he was murdered won't bring him back but does bring it to an end.'

... so it's only men who kill their children out of spite is it? No sign of mental illness here, just pure spite and selfishness.

Oh Ok. But why is that an important distinction - they both mean something is very wrong with a person, something that person has little if any control over?
I don't think having a 'disorder' rather than an 'illness' makes anyone more culpable.

[[ Clinical Implications and Limitations
TOP
ABSTRACT
BACKGROUND
DEFINITIONS OF ILLNESS OR...
STATUS OF PERSONALITY DISORDERS
DISCUSSION
Clinical Implications and...
REFERENCES

CLINICAL IMPLICATIONS

Because the term mental illness has no agreed meaning it is impossible to decide with confidence whether or not personality disorders are mental illnesses.

The historical reasons for regarding personality disorders as fundamentally different from illnesses are being undermined by both clinical and genetic evidence.

The introduction of effective treatments would probably have a decisive influence on psychiatrists' attitudes.

LIMITATIONS

No comprehensive literature review was carried out.

The literature on personality disorders is not extensive and consists mainly of clinical rather than population-based studies.

Psychiatrists' attitudes are influenced by the setting in which health care is provided. This says otherwise]]

From this

I really cannot bare the ill informed, unfeeling ignorant judgements made about this mother.

Poor father, of course/ Poor, poor boy. But poor bloody mother too.

And if you can't fathom WHY one might feel sympathy for the mother then I do believe you must not be fully equipped with the knowledge,experience or empathy required to even make a judgement. Coroner included.

*bear

I brought up the distinction because I asked TinkerBellesMum what mental illness she thought Hitler had, and then she replied with something that wouldnt usually be called a mental illness. Not really relevant to the dabate at hand I admit, was just trying to clarify what she meant.

As you were

And ignore the pedant

Every act is committed within a society, CWE. I'm not blaming the whole of society, but it is a fair point, isn't it?

How many people say "we'll if you're not happy you must leave" to an unhappy friend.

Then, say, if your sister splits with her partner, you would say to her "the bastard. I'll cut his balls off". What you don't say is "well, if he wanted to go, he should be allowed to".

Either it's a good thing or it's not. But society holds both points of view to be correct. They can't both be correct. And this confusion is not good, clearly, when he thought he should be able to walk away and she thought he should have stayed. The little boy was caught in the middle. That's all I was saying.

I am not in any way professionally trained in mental health issues. However, I do not think that any sane person could do something like this. I can understand completely rational acts of violence occur, even murder, but I do not think that a sane person could harm a young child in this way.

I also think that, for example, peodophiles are "sick" in the true sense, in that they have a psychological problem which means they do not understand or choose not to conform to social norms of appropriate thoughts and behaviour.

However, saying someone is ill rather than evil does not excuse them,nor does it mean they merit hand wringing and lots of hugs. Ian Brady is considered to be "ill" as is Ian Huntley. They are both in Broadmoor and not coming out.

I'd like to ask the non sympathisers (of said mother) whether they could feel any kind of sympathy or compassion for her simply due to the fact that,mournfully, her mothering instincts had clearly left her?

exactly objectivity, I feel sorry for her because as a woman her actions were so incomprehensible to me I think she must have been unwell.

A sane woman doesn't do that to their own child, who they have given birth to. She may have been rational but there was clearly something very wrong with her, her actions are totally against nature.

I hate the daily mail

Mental illness is not an excuse, but it is often, sadly, the reason

Precisely, LEM

'Mental illness is not an excuse, but it is often, sadly, the reason'

Hear Hear LEM

Mental illness or not, the test of criminal liability is whether the accused knew the difference between right and wrong.

It is perfectly possible for a person to have mental illness (depression, bipolar etc) and still know that something they are doing is grievously wrong.

As this woman's note suggests ...

Agree with bitoffun's analysis of extreme narcissism further down.

The mothers note to the father left on thier dead sons body...
"Did you think I was going to die and allow you to bring Lewis up and play happy families?
"You made your choice, now you can live with it. You can hurt for the rest of your life.
"I told you I would make you pay. Enjoy your life now. Nothing is stopping you. Ha ha ha. Just remember, it's all your fault."

For any more apologist's for parents killing their her children...

snap, yerblurt!

Oi Tigger.
Who you calling a pedant.

without specifically going into this case.am appalled at representation of mental illness in media. the judge imo made an emotive summing up based on his opinion and revulsion not specific psych or social inquiry reports

not an apologist, but trying to look objectively at a tragedy without the pack mentality

was she under a consultant/cmht
she was receiving psych meds
had a diagnosis of depression

metal illness is global it can affect one's
judgment
actions
attribution of responsibility
control of anger management
locus of control

sheesh don't read and cite the daily mail it is toxic brain rot

The pendent is me, obviously. I cant help it I'm afraid

that's pedant, you know

Oh no. My PedAnt halo has slipped

There seems to be a creeping need for the medicalisation of normal human distress.

Feelings of sadness, anger, rage etc are no longer seen as part of a normal reaction to everyday life events, as understandably distressing as they can be, they are now seen as something separate to the person involved,something beyond a persons control/ responsibility or understanding.

Unhappiness is something to be avoided at all costs rather than to be seen perhaps as a normal part of people's lives.

Mental illness is something very different to distress. Obviously without seeing this woman it is difficult to assess this accurately.

But to me I would have no problem in conceiving a scenario where an angry and frustrated person was unable to see past these immediate and overwhelming emotions and just wanted to lash out to hurt others to the extent this urge overwhelmed all other considerations, be that maternal love etc.

This may refect longstanding personality traits, as previous posters have commented on everyone has urges to do violent things on occasion but dont. Personality traits are not mental illness and still need to be taken responsibility for.

Very excellent post Jeepers

Jeepers, good post: I think it's rarely a good idea to make generalisations about mental health on the back of one awful incident.
But I am appalled by this stuff about society being to blame for disposable relationships etc. Sometimes people who are left by their partners FUCKING WELL DESERVE IT. Because they are bad people or at least bad partners: abusive, cruel, or utterly self-obsessed. And it sounds like it may have been the case here (though obviously we do not have the full picture).
But it's also worth remembering that the majority of people who are left by partners, despite their anguish and pain, do not resort to violence, harassment or criminal damage. And some people behave horribly and vengefully to those who have rejected them sexually by refusing to enter into a relationship with them in the first place: is 'society' to blame, or are these individuals to blame if the nutter they refused to have sex with burns their house down or beats them up due to terrible mental anguish?

personality traits are variables across a range.we all exhibit range.personality disorder is different from traits as documented in ICD-10

PD in ICD10 and dSM IV is categorised as a cluster of symptoms

According to DSM-IV-TR personality disorders are patterns of inflexible and maladaptive personality traits and behaviors that cause subjective distress, significant impairment in social or occupational functioning, or both.

These patterns deviate markedly from the culturally expected and accepted range and are manifest in two or more of the following areas: cognition, affectivity, control over impulses and need gratification, and ways of relating to others.

The maladaptive traits and behaviors are pervasive that is, they are exhibited across a broad range of contexts and situations rather than in only one specific triggering situation or in response to a particular stimulus or person.

Finally, the patterns must have been stably present and enduring since adolescence or early adulthood.

There is nothing in the information given to suggest this woman is suffering from a personality disorder.

However even if this was the case nothing changes. As with all of us, people with 'personality disorders' react in certain ways in particular situations, mostly down to life experiences/ upbringing/ genetics etc.

The fact that their responses are more extreme/ distressing and thus socially unacceptable does not make their responses impossible to understand.

Medicalisation of poor coping skills/ socially unacceptable behaviour/ personality traits or disorder does not help anyone.

It instead removes the internal locus of control rendering the person helpless, instead often reliant on medication and the label of 'mental illness'.