Nicola Bulley 10

[lemmein]

Fuck it, I'm opening another one. If the mods delete it fair enough.

I don't believe the menopause or even alcoholism explains a woman vanishing into thin air with no evidence left behind.

This whole case stinks!

Yep.. I'm not there yet but the women I know going through it are all drinking more at home, which then makes symptoms worse and the cycle goes on.. and also on medication.

Why did you have to fight for it? That's awful 😞

The police didn't say it was due to menopause. They said that she had had previous issues with alcohol and that menopause had caused the problem to resurface. She already had a problem. The fact that her partner was setting out to look for her when she was less than an hour late home speaks volumes. She was clearly vulnerable and he was worried. Poor woman. I hope she is found soon.

I know that people get influenced by other recent cases but the facts are that the police knew about her recent problems (which even a lot of close friends may not have known about). They also had information about the broken camera which wouldn't be obvious to the public.
I am really hoping and praying that this isn't another Sarah Everard type of scenario where she was arrested under false pretenses told to leave her possessions and dog and go away with an 'officer' up that path into a vehicle where he wouldn't be detected.

@Chocolated so sorry you had that experience. I am incredibly lucky that my local (NHS) GP specialises in menopause and put me on HRT straight away upon hearing my peri-menopausal symptoms. I could go from feeling 'normal' one minute to feeling utter rage the next, to feeling utterly bleak and hopeless. I have always been a person on such an even keel. To be fair, several years ago I would have been clueless myself.

It's a nightmare isn't it?

FGS

I think friends very in the dark.

Family (sister and parents) were notable by their silence IMHO.

PA unilaterally drove another narrative likely because he was in the denial / bargaining / shock stage of trauma.

I wonder if she felt under pressure to drink during the evening meeting with her boss which could have caused internal/external tensions because of the welfare check only days before?

Why do you feel the public has a right to know everything? Some info is entirely between the police and family.

Meanwhile, where is she....?

I agree with you.

There are two issues being conflated here.

I agree the police should have described truthfully that this was a vulnerable MP case classed as high risk from the start.

IMHO that would have been enough and seems standard in other cases. For some reason (pressure from the family?) they didn’t and the public sensed it didn’t add up.

Then the nature of these vulnerabilitieso. Why is it more shameful, sullied or personal that it’s menopause/alcohol rather than MS/autism/anorexia? The uncalled for ‘shame’ is what’s being reacted to - when there should not be shame for struggles.

It's quite possible that the initial 999 call on 10th Jan presumably made by Paul was for an ambulance - and that it was the paramedics who called in the police for additional support.

Two emergency vehicles with blue lights flashing and maybe publicly disruptive behaviour/noise is not the sort of event that would go unnoticed or un-remarked on in a small village like Inskip. I'd imagine that would be a new low point for Nicola - and Paul. And obviously distressing for the children if they were at home

The possibilty of charges being pressed would be an additional stressor and a spur to stopping drinking

I'd imagine it was an enormously difficult time even before Nicola went missing and the rest of the world weighed in with their hostile opinions and intrusive questioning

I made the same point ref the police stating that the investigation was continuing ref the call to the house- seems pretty heavy for that to still be going weeks later.

@heldinadream
The diving expert should absolutely have been told.
And the public should know so we don't all think "how can a stable, completely happy and content mum go missing, it must be an abduction! Can't go on dog walks alone now" yes that might have happened still but there are more possible explanations now.

Yes and now makes sense why her partner got worried so quickly, as that seemed unusual.

Two emergency vehicles with blue lights flashing and maybe publicly disruptive behaviour/noise is not the sort of event that would go unnoticed or un-remarked on in a small village like Inskip

do we know this actually happened? Because as I read it, yesterday was the first time there was any suggestion of vulnerability. It seems to me two emergency vehicles attending a house in a small village a couple of weeks before someone from said house goes missing would have been something the press could have easily got out of the neighbours way before now.

the whole thing is just ‘off’.

I find this comment extremely offensive.

You have no idea if she was suffering from anxiety or depression. I have menopause issues, but not depression. I did have anxiety which has been resolved by HRT.

It's ghastly that women get diagnosed as depressed just because of menopause.

And it's insidious to say we can't talk about menopause and problems it brings. We have to "hide" behind the (apparently) more socially acceptable "anxiety and depression". What a crock of shit.

Also, as you point out 45 is a bit young for meno, so it could be linked to other health issues or be causing her significant other problems. Not that it is our business.

And a quick look at ONS statistics will tell you that the peak age range for female suicide is 45-49 years old.

Do we know what the diving expert has been told?
The public are absolutely not entitled to know everything. We may be interested and concerned but still many details are none of our business. Nicola is not here to give her consent so the family and the police are gatekeeping her personal information.

My take on this is that Paul doesn't think he is being economical with the truth.

When Nicola disappeared the police will have asked him lots of questions, and he will have honestly answered them - i.e. stating perhaps that Nicola had previously had issues with alcohol, and that he'd been worried that she had been struggling with the menopause and perhaps drinking more lately. Indeed, the police may have gone there with that idea already in their heads given the previous welfare check, as I assume they'd have checked their records on Nicola and Paul before meeting him.

But Paul isn't in control of how the police respond to that information. He may have been categorical that she had been absolutely fine since that last incident, that she hadn't had a drink for a few days, that she was happy, it had been a calm morning, etc. etc. Paul may genuinely believe that this known issue doesn't have anything to do with her disappearance.

The police have made the decision that this history makes her vulnerable. Paul may not agree with that stance but he doesn't get to tell the police how to conduct their investigation. He might not have been aware, at first, that the police were centering this information in their case. They may not have explicitly told him that this is their thinking. And his realisation that it was their thinking may explain why he seems to have been at odds with the police at times.

If this information is so crucial to the investigation why was it not mentioned at the very start? Why was Paul Faulding not told about it so he could search in deeper areas of the river/nearer to the sea first instead of places the police had alreasu searched? Why did the police stick so firmly to an accident as their main working theory? It seems there are so many contradictions in the information they have shared. I'm sure a member of the public would have noticed if somebody was drunk, he saw people just before her disappearance.
Are they saying this poor woman in the middle of a work call took herself off and jumped into the river, or wandered off to drink and ended up lost/suicide? I just hope this isn't the case, and by some miracle Nicola is still alive.

And how to manage the demands of influential family members if your assertion is correct.

she *

Your right- that would have found its way out by now surely.
Maybe its being exaggerated- who knows. But to say its still being investigated is strange