Fran Lyon has left the country

[milliec]

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agree with LittleBella. Who'd report domestic violence to the police if they thought SS would be involved? I wouldn't.

Ooooh - don't start me off on "cost effective" therapies and their primacy in the NHS...

Therapy is not a "one size fits all" scenario. We have a vast array of medical interventions available to suit varying need and preference- I really do struggle to understand why commissioners can't grasp the notion that we might need a similar diversity in mental/emotional health provision.

*rants and witters in the corner...

Fran

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in admiration of you sophable. Congrats and good luck with the next 3 weeks...

sophable - thread for you

and anyone else who is interested

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ARGH - not on in Scotland!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Fran, i posted on a thread a while back when it first came out about these idiots wanting to take Molly away.

I had a very bad childhood, although i dont know what happend to you, mine was a blur of sexual abuse at the hands of my own father, i tried to take my own life when i was 16 and ended up having my stomache pumped, but i still lied as to why id done it as i didnt have the strengh to tell anyone, it all finally poured out two weeks before my 18th birthday..he was never charged and happily walks fre with a new unsuspecting family now.
Ive suffered depression all my life on and off and after having my beautiful daughter in 2003, i suffered badly with post natal depression, all the normal irrational feelings and thoughts but not once was i questioned as to how i would care for my child!
Who the hell gives them the right to tell YOU what YOU can/cant/will/wont do.
I wish you both all the luck in the world and hope by writing here and the medical team where you are having your details doesnt compromise your anonimity and mean anyone can come and cause problems for you and find out where you are?
Stay safe chick.x

Well done Fran very calm & eloquent as ever,be interesting to see how SS reacts now.

Fran, I have nothing but admiration for the way you are conducting yourself and think that your moving away was absolutely the right thing to do.

I do hope you are able to have youself a merry little Xmas and are looking forward to your impending arrival.

I'm sure if you ever need any assistance there will be hoards of people knocking at your door - in rl or the virtual world - full of offers.

All the best to you and Molly, make sure you get online as much as possible - some of us are checking hourly for any reports!!!!!

Fran, I am so pleased you are safely abroad.

Enjoy what is left of your pregnancy and your new life with Molly

I was so pleased to hear about this.

Good luck to you and little Molly and I hope you have a peaceful and exciting life together.

the police are duty bound to pass on details of any violant incident involving children.
if they attend a Dv incident where children are present then yes a report is made to SS.

i have been reported to social services ( despite being an SAW myself) because of a Dv incident that my son was witness to.
and thank god they did.

i was sent a horrid vile woman who had no business being in teh job. BUT it showed me just how awful my situation was. it gave a me a kick up th ebackside.
I left shortly afterwards......although i did ensure the woman was fired first.

people always assume that SS involvmnet is a bad thing. more often than not it is a positive experiance even if those involved dont realise it at teh time

Good for you Fran.
have a look on the living overseas section of this website, there are accounts of having a baby in quite a few other countries.

mamazon I'm sure you're right, that in many cases it does give women the impetus they need to leave - but that's partly because some of the impetus must surely come from the percieved threat that if they don't, their children will be taken away from them?

I just think that if that becomes the norm and the perception of what happens is that when you report a DV incident SW's come and threaten to take your kids, then women will be even more reluctant to call the police to a DV incident. Leading to more harm for them and their children.

Out of interest, what is the definition of children being present? Actually in the room and witnessing the DV, or asleep upstairs in bed? And what support do SS depts offer women in that situation? I'm just thinking that dv is so prevalent you could set up a whole service dedicated to dealing with the ripples of that alone.

It may have worked for you, Mamazon, but I doubt 'a kick up the backside' is really an appropriate response to victims of domestic violence...

sorry mamazon, but you are completely deluding yourself if you believe that SS involvement is "more often than not" a positive experience for most families

Depends on your definition of "positive experience" Kristina!!

SW's often have a different take on real life I've decided (not you Mamzon!)

good for you Fran

good luck with your birth, and don't forget to smell Molly's head and try to remember the smell

oh god twig...baby smell....

sigh.

Children being present means that if they are awake or in the same room. if they would be aware of teh incident.

basicly when you are in the middle of Dv you try and convince yourself that the kids dont know whats happening or that they dont understand, they are fine and it hasn't affected them.

the SW comes rund and you are forced to see that actually yes it is, they are being affected/damaged by what they are seeing and hearing.
the woman will have teh chance, probably for the first time to talk about what has happened. she will be told her options, the help that is available, and yes she will be told that if the violance persists she may well have her chidlren placed in teh at risk register as what they are being forced to live with is abusive and damaging.

its not very nice to hear but you do NEED to hear it.
would you rather SW's just lie and tell teh women that its all ok, everything will be fine?

kristina - no im not deluding myself.
in most cases SS come ruond and make an assesment. at teh time it is stressful and very worrying. but after that intitial assesment the family eithe rget signed off completly or they get some form of help and support.

the family are left feeling that A)they are managing just fine. they were worried they were not coping and yet here they being told by a proffessinoal that actually they are doing great. or B) that yes they were struggling but they are getting the help they need to be a better parent.

whilst it is stressful at the time when its al over and done with the outcome is positive.

Edam - yes "kick up the backside" probably was a little inapropriate, sorry.

i understand that is is theory and that may be your belief about how the system works. But you are wrong, many families do not find it helpful. they find it stressful, distressing, intrusive and patronising. The last thing they need is a SW telling them how they can " be better parents"!!

In a multi - disciplinary setting, many other professions also find SS input to be remarkably unhelpful, let alone the clients

Perhaps you could explain how Ms Lyon was to be " helped to be a better parent" by SS??

ah, the smell of new baby!

Sorry kristina but im really not interested in having a lets slag off social services discussion with you.

i have explained my post. you have chosen to disregard it.
in my job as a social worker i cannot even begin to retell some of the hundreds of children that i have helped. who have walked into my office feeling desperate and left at the end of my work with them feeling happy and confident about their lives once again...even gratefull of my intervention into their lives.

you can chose to view social services as negative and intrusive or youc an view it as a necessary form of helop for those who cannot or will not request help for themselves.

Ms Lyon has already stated herself that she will take something positive from this experiance. she has been forced to acknowledge that she may face future problems with her mental health and that it is something that she will nee to keep an eye on.