Madeleine McCann

[morningpaper]

Instead of starting lots of new posts about Madeleine, could I politely request that anyone who wants to post on the subject please post on this one thread? (N.B. Duplicate threads may be flamed hysterically.)

Please note that this thread is not to criticise Madeleine's parents or family, as this is not in the spirit of Mumsnet.

Please can I take the liberty to quote from this article:

"This is the real life of Kate and Gerry McCann, and it must now have become a place of agony beyond all understanding. Pity them, if you have any compassion at all, and demonstrate the minimum of grace: the ability to desist from judgment."

I really don't know.

Obviously the twins are going to be led by their parents and I am sure there are photos of Madeleine everywhere.

I wouldn't buy the book or watch a film.

TBH I can't believe she is still missing. When I first heard she had disappeared the first thing I did every morning was check the news and was convinced each day would be the day she came home.

They are now saying they would have used a baby sitting service had there been one but I was under the impression that was an option. Anyway, no point going over it all again. The anniversary is soon and it will be rehashed again then no doubt.

Anybody know what happend to that cowboy outfit they used - Metodo3 ?

dd1 has actually started asking questions about MMC now. a year on. because the lady down the road still covers her windows in pictures and ewnspaper clippings. she has asked how she went missing, why, who took her, why her parents werrent with her, would i leave her alone when we go on holiday.

trying to answer ho9nestly when no-one really knows what happened is hard.

never heard anything about a cowboy outfit?

KerryK, the PI company they hired at some extortionate fee per month. You know! Surely! the ones who PROMISED she would be home by Christmas. They knew where she was, that sort of thing

Yes, cowboy outfit

my ds has asked about her too. something was said on news24 one day and so I said that she had been lost. He asked why and I told him that one day when she was on holiday she had disappeared but no-one knew where she was. He asked why her mummy and daddy weren't watching her. I said that they'd gone out and he said "they should have got a babysitter." he's 5.

at lady down the road misdee.

I think the "cowboy outfit" is the detective agency they hired to find her. There's not been any mention of them recently has there? although i think they fell slightly out of favour when they started saying things in the media like that Madeleine would be home by Christmas.

OMG!!! i quess you can imagine what i was thinking about

thats really sad misdee, i remember my daughter asking loads of questions about the appeal at the start of shrek 3 at the cinema but she was young enough to not let it bother her.

dd1 is 8. when MMC first went missing she asked what had happened and she was ok with being told that a little girl had gone missing on holiday and people were looking for her. lady down the road had yellow ribbons tied all over the front of the bungalow as well.

now dd1 wants to know more. and why she hasnt been found yet as its been so so long now.

wannabe, dd's basically said the same thing.

My heart goes out to the McCanns, truely it does. And I HAVE been watching the news for her return.... all in hope, and still saying prayers.

This has opened up a world to most of us I guess, that we never knew existed, not to this degree.

Having said that, I do try and give me kids a little bit of rope when playing in the park, but by heck I watch them from a distance like a hawk! And right now, with DS 4 and DD 2, I wouldnt tell them about what has happened. My DS is very very sensitive, and only just coming out of night terrors. I wouldnt want to start them up again... and something like this would certainly do the trick.

Keeping posters in windows and ribbons for a year.... I dont think is right. An anniversary event, yes. Light candles etc, I will do that.

OK< door bell. bye

I don't think we will ever know what happened. I hope Kate and Gerry come to some kind of peace, although I doubt it . They never meant for anything to happen to her regardless of their bad choices.

I have been thinking about Ben Needham these last few days and wondered how the hell his Mum has got through the last 20 years. One year feels horrendous, nevermind 2 decades.

I hope that they find her body soon, so that her family can accept her death, and not spend the rest of their lives in limbo, not even dealing with the grief. Their grief will never finish while they still have hope. They actually need to lose all hope now.

I agree that never knowing must be awful but I still hope she is found alive and safe.

If she is found alive now, she will not be 'well'. Even if she was relatively unharmed, she would be so insecure.

True, but it is a year and hopefully she would have many many more years back with her family. I never thought 12 months ago we would still be in a position where she isn't home.

ElizabethBeresfordSW19 they actually need to lose all hope now ???

Would you, if it were your child? Really?

it was my dd's birthday yesterday. she was 6, and as I put her to bed, she just said 'mummy do you think Madeleine is dead' totally out of nowhere. We saw no news this weekend at all, and have never really talked about it, exept at about the time it happened.

I hope to god they get some sort of closure for this, I cannot imagine what it must be like not knowing for sure. I can't belive it is a year.

Not posted on here before but when I saw new posts I thought something had happened.

All these additions after the fact are so odd.

they would have used a baby sitting service had there been one>>

I remember a lot of discussion at the time about the baby sitting service and why they hadn't used it. Now there 'wasn't one'.

Thta's what I thought too, Greyriverside. I was confused as I thought there had been.

I think that if you didn't know one way or the other it would be impossible not to keep thinking that your child might still be alive, but i agree with Elizabeth, this family needs to try to come to terms with the fact that Madeleine is not coming home, rather than keep plugging in the media. They need to retreat back into reality, get rid of the publicity, the spokesperson, and make a normal life for the two children they have with them. Those two children deserve a normal life, to grow up and have a normal childhood, and not to grow up in the shaddow of Madeleine. Not living in the spotlight doesn't mean they have to forget about Madeleine, but imo they should start to move on out of the public eye.

They have moved out of the spotlight - and they are not "plugging" her anymore

To be frank I don't think it is for anyone to tell them what they should or should not be doing. They are just living their lives and doing their best for their remaining children for what I see.

Wannabe, we dont know that though, do we. Of course you / the public would find it easy to give up hope, because she isnt YOUR child.

No one can ever say that another parent should give up hope. I do understand what you are trying to say.... that it would seem impossible for any parent / human being to bear such ongoing and agnosing separation, and one would assume that in the end Closure of some sort must come. And yes, I too would want closure, I would just want to know if my child were alive or dead. Of course I would.

But I would never give up hope, Never EVER. Sorry.

I don't think anyone here can know how the McCanns feel (at least I pray to god no one does or ever will).

They have lost their child, and the worst part is the not knowing where she is or if she is alive or not.

I can think of no pain more devastating and soul destroying then the loss of a child (and again I pray I will never know that feeling, and my heart goes out to the parents on this site who know that pain only too well).

The McCanns have no closure, no grave to lay flowers on, no last goodbye. They must spend every day thinking if only, every day hoping and praying she is alive, she is safe (that who ever took her wanted a child to love and not hurt) wonder if she remembers them, asks for them cry s for them, hoping against hope that she will be found alive and brought home. I also think that there will be times when they will give in to the thought of her being dead, and hoping if she is it was quick and she did not suffer, was not afraid, but the thought of your child being buried somewhere in the cold ground without a proper grave and no one knowing where would drive any parent mad with grief.

We have discussed and argued over this on and off for the past year, and what ever way you look at it the last line is a child has been taken from the family that love her and that family are hurting.

I think everyone of us at some point has thought there but for the grace of god go I.

So before we all start blaming again lets hold it for a moment and think what if it were my child?

Thoughts and prayers go to the McCann family and to Madeleine.

Probably not wolfgirl, but it is that existence of even a tiny amount of hope that prevents them moving through the stages of grief, and eventually reaching acceptance. Only then could they ever hope to find some sort of peace.

Obviously they can never accept this. And therefore they are destined to live in a permanent hell.

Just to clear up my own confusion about the lack of a babysitting service. Apparently there was a free creche AND it was possible to have a babysitter. What they couldn't have was someone just to come around and listen at the door since the resort had quite rightly decided that was pointless and discontinued it.