Mylittleimps ... it was "those that are properly educated and researched and are not selfish .." im;lying that anyone who didn't become a teetotaler was, in fact, selfish.
You seem like a really nice person. You really do. And no one can help what happens to them in their pg as you described.
It's just that there are as many approaches to motherhood as there are mothers.
Some pg mothers feel less stressed when they know they are following Dr.'s advice as strictly as possible. They feel more relaxed just knowing that - just in case - there wasn't a drop inside them. My sister is of this category. I love you all dearly. That is how you have to do it for yourselves. That is what works for you, and it is valid.
Others of us felt extremely justified by the stresses of our pg to indulge in just one or two drinks per week - to make us feel like we were actual people and not just incubators. To make us feel less stressed thereby. We knew there was no evidence that this could be harmful to our unborn children. From years and years of anecdotal evidence, from our own policing of ourselves, we KNEW. Otherwise we would have NEVER drunk ANYTHING.
Just as some peope know that Jesus was resurrected and others know that God does not exist - this few drinks/no drink topic is related, I believe, in that for some people there is no evidence, while for others, there is. Until it can be proven in more than one study that yes, two 12-oz beers per week ARE harmful, then yours will continue to be as unwinnable an argument as trying to convince a true atheist to "open his heart."
But the bottom line is really this: We're playing for the same team. We're all mothers. We all happen to do things differently. Some of us are left-handed batters and we still have a good swing. I do not beleive that if someone dislikes the gym that she is in any way "selfish." Even though I did that part perfectly.
I cannot believe that. I have no right to believe that.