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i'm a bit confused, so don't berate me...

1118 replies

mylittleimps · 20/05/2007 10:39

before all the usual crowd start slagging me off this is just my personal opinion and i am entitled to express how i feel. if you dont like it i dont care as i will not be telling any of you how to live your lives. I've read the very long thread and i'm confused, mainly about attitude in the UK, i've grown up thinking it's not acceptable to leave a young child alone and hence i would not be going on holiday and leaving my children alone. (and people i talk to in my town feel as i do) I cannot relate to it and got annoyed when a colleague of maddy's father said it's a situation every parent can relate to (what leaving your children out of view for an hour just so you can go and do something that could have been done in your apartment on the otherside of door to the rooms your children are sleeping). I find it hard to empathise with the parents (but saying that i recognise it is the most dreadful position to be in, not knowing who has your child/or where your child is), my heart however goes out to the little girl and i pray and hope that she comes out of this fine.
I don't understand why the press have made the practise of leaving toddlers alone acceptable - especially when there was a babysitting service. i don't understand why the family and friends of the parents just can't show a bit of humility (i only hear: "why isn't more being done", "why aren't the police doing more", "it's all very fine what the police are doing but it's not getting maddy back" and the colleague's statement above). if there had been a bit more gratitude being shown to the support they are getting rather than it's a done deal that they should be getting it i would feel more inclined to have some feelings for the parents. BUT why am i such a cold hearted cow and taking the enormous risk of posting this on MN? because of the facts (i'm not apportioning blame, I'm just stating the facts which make it difficult for me personally to have sympathy to their situation) - there was a babysitting service and it wasn't used, they chose to go out to dinner and not eat on the balcony, they earn extremely well and did not employ a nanny to take on holiday with them ,anything could have happended in half an hour/an hour between checks WITHIN the apartment (drowning,electricution,fire hitting head, 4 year olds are very independant and she might have woken and thought she'd go find mummy/daddy) the exit doors could not be seen from the restuarant. This is not the case that they turned their back for a second in a busy area and she was snatched, nor that they were also sleeping when it happened, that they did have a babysitter and it happened then.
in whatever situation a child is taken the perptrator is the worst kind of evil and it gives me great hope that there are good people out there that just want to help in whatever way they can (although i do worry about those that want to but cant really afford to and we are not talking about a poor family needing help are we)
i just get annoyed at the fact that they APPEAR to be seeing that they are entitled to all of this, when they should be showing they are extremely lucky to have such a caring and thoughful home nation.

when nothing happens to the child the mother/family get lynched in the press for what might happen when leaving their child home alone, if something does happen ,like the child going missing, the parents are vindicated from responsibility. like i said i'm confused.

OP posts:
Taylormama · 20/05/2007 20:29

lulu - why are you trying to reason with the OP??????? She clearly isn;t interested in anything but her own blinkered viewpoint - she is like Mary Poppins you know - practically perfect in every possible way

lulumama · 20/05/2007 20:30

ok...i did parp a while ago !!

Taylormama · 20/05/2007 20:32

i parped at 17.49 pm ...

lulumama · 20/05/2007 20:33

18.37 !!

QuiltHugger · 20/05/2007 20:34

I thought mumsnet was here to support parents not berate those who make mistakes.

mli: your comments have been horrid to read.
I hope karma doesn't ever catch up with you

cylonbabe · 20/05/2007 20:38

i haven tposted on any of the maddy threasds, except one which must have been started by a troll, and i asked why the thread hadnt dided

i have only read the op and a few of the earlier posts.
i agree wholeheartedly with the op.
i pray to god that she is found safe and well and nothing terrible has happened to her.

Carmenere · 20/05/2007 20:41

I am very disappointed with you Ceylonbabe. How can you think that those poor people deserve to be vilified when they are going through living hell already?

cylonbabe · 20/05/2007 20:45

no carmenere, i dont think so at all. judgeing them is not something i would ever do. but i have had thoughts about this, and i think perhaps i should=nt have said 'agree wholeheartedly with op' as i said, i have stayed far away from these threads because my writing about it will not bring her back, and i refuse to get into the scandal/gossipy tone i have seen some people use in the playground.
and i still dont want to get itno this. but i'm not judging them.thats just not something i could do.
oh gawd, i knew i should have stayed off this topic

Carmenere · 20/05/2007 20:48

Tbh Ceylonbabe, I think you would be well advised to read some of the horrible things that the op and others have said on this thread before you throw your lot in with them. I really didn't think that you would actually judge them and wouldn't feel empathy for their suffering.

Carmenere · 20/05/2007 20:49

I meant the McCanns

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 20/05/2007 20:54

I think it's possible to think that some parents make wrong decisions and yet still feel able to feel compassion and empathy for them, if the results of those decisions turn out to be disastrous.

That's the good thing about us human beings, we're able to have extremely complex emotions and responses. Those who want to stick to the simple ones are of course entitled to, but I can't help feeling it's a bit of a waste of their humanity. You can be more interesting than this, honest you can.

JulietFarkinBravo · 20/05/2007 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisIsDavinaPleaseDoNotSwear · 20/05/2007 21:08

Some of these post are unbelieveable

Dare I even suggest that the sicko who abducted Madeleine even has something in common with some of the people who have posted on here? i.e a COMPLETE lack of humanity or empathy. Some of the posts I have just read are inhumane

lulumama · 20/05/2007 21:10

i wouldn;t suggest that davina

lack of empathy is not in the same arena

SuperSleuth · 20/05/2007 21:18

sophable - absolutely. Almost too obvious, in actual fact.

Ditto everything hunker, carmenere, gingerbear etc has said.

What saddens me more, is, when the day comes that the OP, or bobbysmum et al make an error in judgement, or a mistake that turns their life around (and it will happen - we are all human), how on Earth will they live with themselves? I mean, if they can judge the McCanns so harshly, how much will they judge themselves for not being perfect? It will really screw their minds up.

I really do worry for them.

SuperSleuth · 20/05/2007 21:20

and ditto what cod said.

My heart is so so heavy for Madeleine and her family.

AitchTwoOh · 20/05/2007 21:27

i agree with stgeorge. the op has said that she started this thread because she kept missing the other threads or was being skipped over or ignored. it's basically trolling as far as i can see, so i'd be wary of feeding her.

tiredemma · 20/05/2007 21:34

This is possibly the worst thread I have ever had the misfortune to click on while on mnet.

Bobbysmom- what a vile, nasty witch you are.
Shame on you

mommajools · 20/05/2007 21:47

tiredemma - you should look at the thread about the woman who has 13 kids - absolutley dreadful

Spidermama · 20/05/2007 21:59

This is indeed a nasty, nasty thread.

It's surely best not to let the comments of the OP and bobbysmom get to you though. Clearly there are many people on this thread who've been very upset by this. Understandable.

In my view mylittleimps, bobbysmom and the rest are not 'evil', 'witches' and 'bitches'. Their posts are shocking and ugly, but mud slinging is unhelpful and demeaning.

Why not just ignore them? They don't understand how offensive their views are and they're clearly not veryu intelligent or rounded people.

So can we calmly walk away from them and leave them to thier nasty, small minded prattle and concentrate on some positive posting.

Let's deny them the fuel of MN publicity.

wheresthehamster · 20/05/2007 22:23

Thank you Mumsnet for deleting that post.

corblimeymadam · 21/05/2007 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mylittleimps · 21/05/2007 10:48

firstly i have only posted in my own name

mumemma - as you seem to be able to discuss and not just shout wild comments about then i will try and explain further why i started this thread.

now it's clear people do leave their children alone to go off and eat etc whilst on holiday am i so wrong in being confused and a little surprised not to have seen the family, or a spokesperson not stating a message from the family to never ever leave your children like they have done because YES maddy IS still missing. please learn from our heartache and don't go through it yourselves. but everyone is making out this is just the same as a child being snatched from you when you are with them and quite frankly it's not.

i'm not vile, evil or nasty, i care very much about children and other people, i would not harm another human being and don't go shooting my mouth off but that does not mean you should not say difficult things if it is for the greater good. i just never want to hear another story like this one. I'm sorry if people jumped to the wrong conculsions about my use of the word humility but hopefully i've explained it now - as explained before i'm dyslexic and sometimes i know what i want to say but it doesn't come across well in written words and this has been my first opportunity to write this down since yesterday.

(compassion, tolerance of others mistakes umm that's here alright)

OP posts:
GameGirly · 21/05/2007 11:03

One thing that strikes me is how all those who agree with the OP harp on about the McCann's financial situation (or their supposed situation because none of us can know for sure), e.g. "they earn extremely well and did not employ a nanny to take on holiday with them" and "They are well paid and but are too tight and selfish to get in someone to keep them safe or forgo their metime".

GameGirly · 21/05/2007 11:04

And why can't people call her by her proper name? At no time have the family or official sources referred to her as "Maddy". That's just basic respect, IMO.

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