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i'm a bit confused, so don't berate me...

1118 replies

mylittleimps · 20/05/2007 10:39

before all the usual crowd start slagging me off this is just my personal opinion and i am entitled to express how i feel. if you dont like it i dont care as i will not be telling any of you how to live your lives. I've read the very long thread and i'm confused, mainly about attitude in the UK, i've grown up thinking it's not acceptable to leave a young child alone and hence i would not be going on holiday and leaving my children alone. (and people i talk to in my town feel as i do) I cannot relate to it and got annoyed when a colleague of maddy's father said it's a situation every parent can relate to (what leaving your children out of view for an hour just so you can go and do something that could have been done in your apartment on the otherside of door to the rooms your children are sleeping). I find it hard to empathise with the parents (but saying that i recognise it is the most dreadful position to be in, not knowing who has your child/or where your child is), my heart however goes out to the little girl and i pray and hope that she comes out of this fine.
I don't understand why the press have made the practise of leaving toddlers alone acceptable - especially when there was a babysitting service. i don't understand why the family and friends of the parents just can't show a bit of humility (i only hear: "why isn't more being done", "why aren't the police doing more", "it's all very fine what the police are doing but it's not getting maddy back" and the colleague's statement above). if there had been a bit more gratitude being shown to the support they are getting rather than it's a done deal that they should be getting it i would feel more inclined to have some feelings for the parents. BUT why am i such a cold hearted cow and taking the enormous risk of posting this on MN? because of the facts (i'm not apportioning blame, I'm just stating the facts which make it difficult for me personally to have sympathy to their situation) - there was a babysitting service and it wasn't used, they chose to go out to dinner and not eat on the balcony, they earn extremely well and did not employ a nanny to take on holiday with them ,anything could have happended in half an hour/an hour between checks WITHIN the apartment (drowning,electricution,fire hitting head, 4 year olds are very independant and she might have woken and thought she'd go find mummy/daddy) the exit doors could not be seen from the restuarant. This is not the case that they turned their back for a second in a busy area and she was snatched, nor that they were also sleeping when it happened, that they did have a babysitter and it happened then.
in whatever situation a child is taken the perptrator is the worst kind of evil and it gives me great hope that there are good people out there that just want to help in whatever way they can (although i do worry about those that want to but cant really afford to and we are not talking about a poor family needing help are we)
i just get annoyed at the fact that they APPEAR to be seeing that they are entitled to all of this, when they should be showing they are extremely lucky to have such a caring and thoughful home nation.

when nothing happens to the child the mother/family get lynched in the press for what might happen when leaving their child home alone, if something does happen ,like the child going missing, the parents are vindicated from responsibility. like i said i'm confused.

OP posts:
mylittleimps · 20/05/2007 17:45

i think i said i find it hard to have sympathy/empathy (two different sentences in the OP) i have never said i am devoid of it

OP posts:
Tortington · 20/05/2007 17:45

nice to be morally superior isn't it

akaJamiesMum · 20/05/2007 17:47

OMG - is this where the term PARP (which Cod so helpfully enlightened me as to the meaning of) comes into it's own.

Carmenere · 20/05/2007 17:48

Yes aka, this would be a perfect time to use it.......

Taylormama · 20/05/2007 17:49

if there had been a bit more gratitude being shown to the support they are getting rather than it's a done deal that they should be getting it i would feel more inclined to have some feelings for the parents.

your sentence not mine and ....

LongDistanceClara · 20/05/2007 17:50

Can I just ask, people on here say the apartment doors were locked, but I've read several times in different places that they were left unlocked? Does that make a difference to people wrt risk assessment?

(Tis Hunker, before people wonder why the namechange)

bobbysmum07 · 20/05/2007 17:50

Well said, Minorityrules. Count me in with the OP, too.

What I can't get over is this business of the Fund that can't get charitable status. Who's keeping tabs on where the money is going exactly? The uncle, who's given up his day job?

And how much have the McCann's donated to the Fund? It's not like they're hard up, is it?

Makes you want to campaign against it.

Saturn74 · 20/05/2007 17:53
Hmm
Carmenere · 20/05/2007 17:55

Are you all the same poster namechanging or something?

niceglasses · 20/05/2007 17:58

Youre confused?

I'll help you out.......

Its called empathy, sympathy, understanding, ever heard of those?

DANCESwithnewlytannedlegs · 20/05/2007 18:00

minority - we put our 'babies' at risk of harm everytime we leave the house. They could run out into traffic, a drunk driver could chose that time and place to clip the curb and go onto the pavement, they could be coughed on by someone with an infectious disease FGS as I said before it's all about judgement calls.

They could have made that decision 7 nights out of a 7 night holiday, their children would have been fine and we would know NOTHING about them or their family. Unluckily for them some evil person or people targetted them and chose to destroy them. It is those people who deserve our scorn not the McCanns. No-one is saying they made a wise decision but have a heart.

fireflyfairy2 · 20/05/2007 18:00

Interesting how all these people expressing these views are all new.

I think it has all been said before.

As it is, I am sure a few people agree with you, but have the bloody good sense to see that these people are tearing themselves apart without the likes of you pointing the finger at them.

unknownrebelbang · 20/05/2007 18:00

The child is still missing.

Have you NO compassion?

DANCESwithnewlytannedlegs · 20/05/2007 18:01

Yeah it's funny bobbysmum because I have seen them on television saying 'please give us money because we're not rich enough and oh there's something to do with our daughter...can't remember what it is....'

bobbysmum07 · 20/05/2007 18:02

No Carmenere, there are actually lots of people with differing opinions to the majority of lunatics on this thread.

What will you all say if it turns out that one of the parents had something to do with this child's disappearance?

I'm not saying they did, but I would exercise caution before defending their every move.

Saturn74 · 20/05/2007 18:02

You would exercise caution before commenting on this case?
Really?

OonaghBhuna · 20/05/2007 18:02

I know that everyone has different ideas and attitudes towards bringing up their children but I do find leaving your children alone in an apartment extremely risky. There would be very few people out there that would leave their passports, wallets mobile phones sitting out on a bed when they are away out for dinner, but from most postings over the past few weeks say its ok to leave children.
Despite how I feel I hope everyday for some good news.

DANCESwithnewlytannedlegs · 20/05/2007 18:03

Oh fgs is that even a point?

fireflyfairy2 · 20/05/2007 18:04

You are suggesting the parents had something to do with it??

Oh FFS.

Carmenere · 20/05/2007 18:05

HA?! You are calling us lunatics, lol.
Bottom line dear is if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

DANCESwithnewlytannedlegs · 20/05/2007 18:06

mine was to bobby's mum not subsequent posters.

bobbysmum07 · 20/05/2007 18:06

FFF2 - No, I'm saying I don't know what happened. And nor do you.

That's why it's far better to remain impartial. Just in case.

Saturn74 · 20/05/2007 18:06

Impartial!
PMSL!

Malaleche · 20/05/2007 18:07

For many years I believed the law was that you could leave kids over the age of 14 alone at home and you could leave a 16 year old in charge of under 14s. These are the 'rules' my Mum used. However as this article says there is no actual law governing the age at which kids can be left alone.

Personally I think that the McCanns were lulled into a sense of security by being in a nice holiday resort with, judging by the maps, an enclosed private village feel, and did something they would probably not have done at home (I mean I doubt they'd have gone to eat in a restaurant over the road from their own house, even if they were going back to check every half hour, but obviously I don't actually know them and so I can't be sure of that). Guardian article from 2002

fireflyfairy2 · 20/05/2007 18:07

Isn't it bloody obvious to you that they are sad, broken people?

They are devastated.. and why for the love of god, would any parent arrange for their child to be abducted??

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