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Original poster

Alfie Evans 7

926 replies

StayingAtTamaras · 26/04/2018 23:25

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Samcro · 30/04/2018 10:35

no I mean giving money for AE

Sozzler · 30/04/2018 10:42

Flyingbird, perhaps they haven't decided what they are doing with the money yet. I would imagine that the wider family would want this decision to come from Alfie's parents and I know I wouldn't feel comfortable asking them about it so soon after losing a child, even if I was a family member. Whereas, setting up a postal address could be done very easily without involving Alfie's parents. I just really think that it is far too soon for people to start asking about what is going to happen to this money. Let them come to terms with Alfie's death first.

mydogisthebest · 30/04/2018 10:50

Derxa, I asked if funerals for children were free only because a few posters on another forum said they were and I didn't know if that were true or not. I honestly did not ask it to stir any sort of trouble. Even if it is true I assume if you want anything above and beyond a fairly basic funeral you have to pay.

I have my own views about the large amount of money the family have raised but am not going to voice them on here.

I didn't donate to the fund but I have donated to the hospital as I wanted to show them my support

DrMumMum · 30/04/2018 10:52

I'm posting here for the sole reason of adding to the comment count so that this thread can be deleted ASAP.

I'm disgusted that this thread has been used to complain about balloon releases and funeral costs. Have some decency.

MarvelleGazelle · 30/04/2018 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Samcro · 30/04/2018 10:59

at the end of the day its up to the people who give. they decided to give money and as mn always says only give what you can afford.
horrid that people who have not given money are questioning what will happen to it.

mydogisthebest · 30/04/2018 11:00

Where are the complaints about funeral costs? I am so sick of posters coming on with their holier than thou attitude and telling everyone how awful they are.

Mumsnet have the power to delete messages, which they do a lot, or to delete or close a thread. Why do other posters think they should have that power or that they are so superior?

There is another forum I belong to (not going to say what it is in case all the superior ones go there to complain) where the comments are, on the whole, far far worse than any I have seen on mumsnet. Probably 95% of them criticise the parents and say some far from complimentary things about the dad

mydogisthebest · 30/04/2018 11:03

I should have said in my previous post that none of the posts on the other forum are being deleted

DeadButDelicious · 30/04/2018 11:04

No one is 'complaining' about funeral costs. At all. A simple question about funeral costs for children was asked and an answer given. No one is saying in anyway that the parents shouldn't be able to give him the send off that they want. This is the last thing they can do for their boy. I wouldn't deny them that and if people wish to donate it is their money not mine.

MarvelleGazelle · 30/04/2018 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sozzler · 30/04/2018 11:08

DrMumMum I am very much looking forward to that too. This thread has been the worst yet and has dragged on for far too long. I hate the idea of one of Alfie's family members coming on here and seeing that his death has been reduced to debate, gossip and speculation about balloon releases, his funeral and the money raised for him.
I really hope Mumsnet don't allow another thread to start about Alfie until after his funeral and when there are facts for people to respectably discuss rather than speculation about what they have pulled off of social media and the gutter press.

SilverySurfer · 30/04/2018 11:08

100% agree FlyingBird

No, I didn't Samcro I saw no need for funds for medical costs when Alfie was being cared for by the NHS at AH hospital and didn't believe Italy or any other country could give him any better care than he was receiving. It was pretty obvious there was no cure and if he had been moved to another country it would have been to maintain him on life support indefinitely which was for the benefit of others, not Alfie.

Did you donate?

Samcro · 30/04/2018 11:15

no I didn't , but im not asking where the money is going.

Sozzler · 30/04/2018 11:16

Flyingbird, I agree there needs to be more transparency about donation collecting in general but still strongly feel that it is far too soon to be expecting any of Alfie's family to update/act on his.

mydogisthebest · 30/04/2018 11:19

Sozzler, not sure how likely it is that any of Alfie's family would come on and see this thread let alone read it. Are they not likely to think that is not going to contain only nice posts about them?

If they look on other forums or even on facebook they would see far far worse comments about them. Also a lot of the comments on the Mail articles have been pretty harsh

fenneltea · 30/04/2018 11:22

Yes derxa, I probably worded that badly, sorry.

Sozzler · 30/04/2018 11:28

mydogisthebest I wouldn't expect them to think they may all be nice, but perhaps they might expect a parenting website to be a little less vicious and bitchy just after the death of a little boy. Whereas, I think most people know what to expect from the Daily Mail etc. Who know whether they will come on here, maybe in their numbness of grief they may look for words that have been said about Alfie and think this could be a good, more balanced place to look. I really hope they don't

FluffyPineapple · 30/04/2018 11:30

When people throw their lives into the public domain they can expect discussion and debate. When people open just giving pages asking for public donations they can expect the public to question where the money is going. Especially when donations being asked for were needless to begin with.

Isn't there a law against people opening fundraising pages and using the money for something different to what the donations were meant for? Why can't people debate this?

If anything it has opened people's eyes to how fundraising pages can be misused.

reallyanotherone · 30/04/2018 11:38

Surely part of the aim of both charlie and alfie’s fight being so public is to get people talking about the ethics of the case?

If they want to even attempt to bring about “Charlie’s/alfie’s Law” then there is going to be a lot of public support needed- and for that there will be a lot of discussion.

Both of these cases were brought about to challenge the status in the uk of a child’s rights over parents wishes.

They really can’t expect the whole of the uk, public, politicians and law makers to just roll over and say “how terrible, of course we were wrong not allowing you to have complete parental rights, lets change the law...”

So imo discussion of the case is a good thing. Some people might learn why we have these laws and why the courts make these decisions. Then they can make anInformed choice about whether to support such a law change.

SilverySurfer · 30/04/2018 11:39

People will post what they wish on here, provided it does not break MNHQ's rules, although admittedly those rules can shift from time to time. Posts containing inappropriate comments have quite rightly been pretty swiftly removed.

Wannabe mods are surplus to requirements - if you want to control the thread, apply for a job with MNHQ and stop the holier-than-thou virtue signalling.

I couldn't agree more FluffyPineapple

GnotherGnu · 30/04/2018 11:49

I'm posting here for the sole reason of adding to the comment count so that this thread can be deleted ASAP.

You're doomed to disappointment in that case. Contrary to popular belief, MN is not automatically deleting threads when they finish.

If you have an issue with particular posts, it is always open to you to report them, DrMumMum. You do have a problem with reporting posts complaining about funeral costs, however, because there aren't any.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 30/04/2018 11:50

When people throw their lives into the public domain they can expect discussion and debate. When people open just giving pages asking for public donations they can expect the public to question where the money is going

You're right of course, but it's interesting that the self appointed, would-be censors now feel that we shouldn't discuss a fundraising page unless we ourselves have donated

Taking that principle to its logical conclusion would bar debate on just about anything we aren't personally involved in, which would be the end of a lot more than just these threads

It seems a shame that those so keen on squashing free speech don't pause to think of the consequences

MarvelleGazelle · 30/04/2018 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

broccolina · 30/04/2018 11:54

I am surprised UK has no regulations about donations and that anyone can open a fundraiser. What about tax and fraud?
Where I'm from it can only be collected through approved organisations and as of recently, due to one controversial cause where there was a dispute whom the remaining funds should go to, a permit has to be obtained for each specific cause for maximum transparency.

DrMantisToboggan · 30/04/2018 11:55

Given that there were no legal or medical expenses, what was the fundraising originally envisaged for, does anyone know?