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We're all good enough mums - Today's Times 2

79 replies

Imafairy · 30/01/2007 08:44

I thought this was quite good.

OP posts:
Kiff · 30/01/2007 08:51

i don't like her column though.

not another sprogged up high flier having the brainwave to keep her hand in professional life by chronicling her kids!

not another set of amusing playground sterotypes.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/01/2007 08:55

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Imafairy · 30/01/2007 09:00

I don't like her column either, but I thought there was some sense in favourite quote, and I am taking it out of contxt is: "Neurosis is the life-blood of most mothers of newborn babies. They don?t need any further encouragement."...except I think that if we removed the 'of newborn babies' it would be a good mantra for us all:
Neurosis is the life-blood of most mothers - they don?t need any further encouragement.

OP posts:
Cloudhopper · 30/01/2007 09:03

I thought it was fine. The column does annoy me (Slummy Mummy as in Yummy Mummy without the lipgloss?), but the concept is sound. I notice there is a real trend towards trotting out the platitude that we are all good mums. Are we? Am I?

I agree that angst over giving children organic food is probably a bit over the top, but isn't this just another example of the post-modern age? Self awareness that we never really had before.

I hope genetic determinism makes a comeback though. I'm sure my kids will have a much better chance that way.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/01/2007 09:27

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monkeymonkeymoomoo · 30/01/2007 09:34

"being a mother is actually mostly amateur, low-grade stuff" Charming.

Bugsy2 · 30/01/2007 09:43

My kids go to state pimary Cod, & for my sins I am class rep this year with another mum. This means that we make sure every bugger in the class pitches up with cakes for cake sale Friday, we organise a get together at least once during the year. We harang people into helping out at school events. That kind of stuff. Seeing as you asked!
Actually, quite liked this article. For a change, wasn't really down on any kind of parenting or having a go. It was inclusive & all embracing - which makes a pleasant change!

Bugsy2 · 30/01/2007 09:47

but MMM, don't you think that is actually true? You don't need any qualifications to be a mother, pretty much any female can do it. That doesn't detract from the fact that it is hard graft, but it is not exactly rocket science!

monkeymonkeymoomoo · 30/01/2007 09:48

Oh I do agree but I think it could have been phrased slightly better! Slightly derogatory I thought.

Marina · 30/01/2007 09:50

I liked its inclusiveness too.
Over the years I have finally had to confront the fact that Frank Furedi is a libertarian loon, but I do still agree with his views that parents (why is this in Women? Won't dads be interested in this too - my dh is to be found harassed at the school gates as often as I am) should cut themselves some slack.

Enid · 30/01/2007 09:52

oh piss off

If she really didnt care she wouldn't stress about sending her kids to private school

it is the parenting equivalent of not admittign that you have done any revision

competitive crapness - only happens in very confident people I find

giraffeski · 30/01/2007 09:54

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oliveoil · 30/01/2007 09:59

Do you know, I sometimes think I must live in a parallel universe or something because I don't know any competitive mothers. Not one. Nada.

I have never discussed organic food or tv quotas or anything.

Sleep yes, and the lack thereof. Breastfeeding, bit of weaning tips.

But mainly hands on baby stuff and most of my friends gave differing opinions and muddled through.

Who are these weirdo women and were do they exist?

missingmywine · 30/01/2007 09:59

Love the Times (excludes Sunday Times - big comic - The Observer thankyou) and particularly T2 but cannot stand 'slummy mummy' and really thought it would run for a few months then be dropped - dross dross dross

paulaplumpbottom · 30/01/2007 10:03

Her column always makes me cringe.

DimpledThighs · 30/01/2007 10:03

I love the way they either tell us we are crapola or tell us we are great - I am in the middle along with most other people.

Media extremes - tu!

Caligula · 30/01/2007 10:21

LOL at competitive crapness.

I'm beginning to believe these alpha mothers are a figment of not very confident people's imagination tbh. I've never met one either and I suspect they're just normal mothers who might one day wear something nice, or be caught in the act of doing a bit of effective behaviour management and ever afterwards have the label in the mind of the person who has noticed these things as "alpha mum". Meanwhile, they probably have their own alpha mum in their own imaginations, who likewise one day wore lipstick to the playground or something.

And gawd, why are all these articles so relentlessly middle class fgs? I'm not a class warrior or anything, but FFS, these articles which presume that we've all got the luxury of agonising about organic food and private schools, and spend so many column inches on them, just totally fails to engage in any debate about parenting for the majority.

arfishy · 30/01/2007 10:51

I know heaps of competitive mothers, honestly LOADS.

I had one pity me because I walked to ante-natal classes - she kept offering me lifts in her 4x4 and looking at me sympathetically and patting my arm but I lived 3 minutes away so didn't really see the need to drive there. She thought - horrors - that I didn't have a car.

Another enrolled her son in Yehudi Menuin's violin classes before he was 2.

Another fed her under 1 year old skimmed milk because she'd always had weight issues and didn't want her baby to follow suit.

Oh there's so many more - a lot of the children at DD's nursery turn up in designer clothes.

I'll just stop before the sound of thunking jaws deafens me.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/01/2007 10:58

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Caligula · 30/01/2007 10:58

But they don't sound like competitive mums arfy, they just sound like plain ole nutters.

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 30/01/2007 11:00

I can assure you that competitive parents are not the figment of some journo's imaginiation. They do exist, you are just not looking in the right places. Besides, many are canny enough to never admit that they are competitive - they can be subtle, too (quietly pushy) whilst maintaining a facade of apparent apathy. How many posts are on MN right now, discussing nutrition, behaviour and education? You are fooling yourselves if you think parents don't compete. Of course they bloody do! Everyone looks down their nose at someone, whether it's because they send their child to a private school, or because they feed them Fruit Shoots and sausage rolls - we are all guilty of judging someone else, and if you say you don't, you're kidding yourself.

Berrie · 30/01/2007 11:19

Also can't stand Slummy Mummy coulumn. Do read it though having said that. Why do you think it is? Is it the middle class lifestyle that I can't relate to, the lack of any affection expressed for children or husband or is it just plain irritating?


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Caligula · 30/01/2007 11:23

Yes of course everyone judges everyone else, but that's not quite the same as being madly competitive.

I may look down my nose at someone, but I don't walk up to them and say "my child is considerably better-behaved than yowers". Which is what these alpha mums appear to be doing, in a posher accent.

I'm obviously not looking in the right places. But then, the places that one finds these women, are places which are simply beyond the reach of most parents. Which I think is what I'm beginning to find more and more irritating about these articles. They have about as much relevance to the average parent as what Madonna feeds her kid, tbh.

paulaplumpbottom · 30/01/2007 11:23

You are so right Grumpy, the competitive parents are never in your face about it.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/01/2007 11:24

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