I'm Jack Monroe. Ask me anything.

[MxJackMonroe]

Hi Mumsnet.

It seems every time I am in the news, a MN thread about all things transgender crops up. I didn't see the last one (yesterday?) as I don't come on here very often these days - people who eavesdrop etc etc. I was cooking in a tent in a muddy field all day, having a ball, not googling myself on the internet!

The thread was deleted - which was nothing to do with me, nor my lawyer. The day I call him about a MN thread is the day I pack everything in for good. So far only the Mail and Hopkins have had legal action taken against them, and both for quite serious statements. I'm not rich enough nor quite bothered enough to call him every time someone says mean words on the internets.

ANYWAY. Threads about me tend to get deleted. So here's a new one. Because there are clearly some questions that keep coming up, criticisms that I could answer, speculation I could clarify and untruths that could do with correction.

So I'm taking questions. I'm an adult and I take an awful lot of criticism and unkindness online, on the chin. I am pretty mentally stable right now, and feel this could be a constructive discussion.

In order to stop this descending into pandemonium, using general 'chair' rules, to start with I'll take one question from each user - if it's quiet and everything gets answered, feel free to add follow up questions.

It doesn't have to be about boobs, dresses, hormones. Literally ask me anything.

MN - please don't delete this thread. I think people have valid things to say and I'm here with my big girl/boy pants on to hear them.

Over to you.

because 'I am non-binary' has news value that 'gender is a prison' doesn't - and therefore gives you a chance of being more accurately presented in the media, because you are correct of course, in that the former will be printed and the latter won't ...

I think the dialogue is moving from one to the other. Consider the shock value that trans people were written about in the1 media even 5 years ago, and how we have moved along now to have more respectful discussions around it beyond "Army Major Chops Off Cock Shocker" etc...

Jack, isn't everyone non binary? Doesn't gender simply not exist?

That is pretty much my entire point.

Gender is the boxes society puts us into based on our sex. Transgender is "I'm in the wrong box!" Non-binary is "I need another box!" Feminism is "Fuck off with the boxes!"

If you don't believe in gender, there's nothing to transition from or to.

Oh to be drinking wine on a Monday night, Stoic, the freedom

It felt hugely intrusive to ask about someone's hormones so thanks for answering.

Are you frustrated then that it is being viewed in the media as a huge statement about the role of women and feminism?

Do you feel you've become spokesperson for a group that actually you don't represent? (partly because none of us can represent a disparate group and partly because there is an aggressive trans lobby that seems to be pushing an agenda that would seem to sit at odds with the experiences of a low-income, single parent like yourself who presumably benefited from some of the sex-segregated groups and funding that certain trans campaigns are now threatening?)

If you don't believe in gender, there's nothing to transition from or to.

But if only it were that simple. I'm a 'fuck off with the boxes' too, but christ, try being in the public eye and pushed and pushed and pushed to define yourself. If I had a pound for every time I was tutted at and told 'the readers wont understand that'...

^Other than to wonder that if it's possibly the older/more mature I get, the more it is that I suspect that I am attracted to a person as opposed to a gender - is this a thing anyone else can identify (no pun intended) with?^

Hi Stoic.. I dont think you are looking for a pick up so I am not answering because of that ! .. but as it seems the only one here who has identified as post menopausal..(and with a possibly non-binary partner) I do think the same in many ways - its the person and not the gender - and I have thought this for some time...

Really you only have to look at older people to see how many women and men start looking/ being pretty much the same .(if they are not too hung up on remaining 'young' . For example, take Grayson Perry - someone my DH and I both admire greatly for his stand on gender issues .. I dont think he looks very much male or female..('dressed' or not ) . He is also of course very ungendered in his thinking ..

and I agree not all 'older people are the same, but i do think we become more so , if we are comfortable in ourselvesand less hung up on 'wha't we are as gender (which is I think the point JackMand people like her are trying to get at..)

Sadly i've found that post-menopause the whole libido thing is no longer there for me so gendered attraction isnt that relevant ..

"I think the dialogue is moving from one to the other"

I'm not sure what you mean; are you suggesting that 'I am non-binary' is leading to a more open and valid discussion about the issues with gender stereotypes than 'gender is a social construct/prison'? Because I'm afraid I'm not sure that's true...

If you are transitioning, but not to male, is there an end goal? What are the physical effects (if you don't mind me asking)? I'm genuinely curious, I don't understand this sort of thing from a trans perspective.

Is there a reason someone in the media can't be a lesbian who prefers wearing traditionally male clothing and has tattooes?

Is your hormone treatment, or even sexual orientation anyone's business but your own?

Why not just say no comment, too personal?

It's so bloody boring to class people on the gender of the people they fancy! Fucking hell all the myriad beautiful quirks that we all have, and then we have to shuffle about and form two queues based on who we want to fuck.

It's depressing.

I don't want to fuck anyone, particularly. I don't think it makes me asexual, pan sexual, heterosexual or anything else. It just makes me someone who doesn't really want to fuck anyone.

I like builders tea, horse riding and stripy socks. Want to be in my gang??

Jack. Love the spontaneous webchat idea. Always good to see you on my telly, and dd loves you too.

I'm a 'fuck off with the boxes' too, but christ, try being in the public eye and pushed and pushed and pushed to define yourself. If I had a pound for every time I was tutted at and told 'the readers wont understand that'...

What's wrong with "I'm a woman who is a person with a personality, like every other woman?" I think that's a lot easier for people to understand than "I'm non-binary" but less headline suitable.

What's wrong with "I'm a woman who is a person with a personality, like every other woman?" I think that's a lot easier for people to understand than "I'm non-binary" but less headline suitable

Jack has said that testosterone has helped her deal with her feelings. What do you make of that?

I make of it that there are lots of substances that affect how we feel. Many are dangerous, including testosterone.

Thanks for answering my BFG question.

I love your recipes!

I'd just read the Observer interview and logged onto mumsnet and saw this thread. It's been great to read, really interesting. I'm glad your feeling happy and well.

Hello Jack. Thanks for doing this. You're one brave person.
I'm repeatedly shocked by the amount of hostility towards transgender people on MN and elsewhere. I just don't understand why people care so much what you or anyone else calls yourself or has in your trousers. How do you explain this apparent anger?

AnyFucker That's why I asked if you were pissed, stoic

That post was a trifle disinhibited

Doing
I nearly inhaled wine up my nose

Trust me Doing, I'm now doing UTMOST inhale wine swiftly through nose as fucking MORTIFIED vis how that reads!!! And AF yep, can now see why you asked....!!!

What was missing was the 'By way of example'... PRIOR to the e.g. of 'would love take you to dinner etc' but fuck me, what an epic fucking fail

Mortified vis how it reads in absence of the 'by way of...', seriously, if thread wasn't so darned interesting I'd be getting my coat right now...

Haffdonga. Hello Jack. Thanks for doing this. You're one brave person. smile
I'm repeatedly shocked by the amount of hostility towards transgender people on MN and elsewhere. I just don't understand why people care so much what you or anyone else calls yourself or has in your trousers. How do you explain this apparent anger?

It's not my anger to try to explain and I wouldn't want to speak on behalf of anyone else...!

What's wrong with "I'm a woman who is a person with a personality, like every other woman?" I think that's a lot easier for people to understand than "I'm non-binary" but less headline suitable
Here here!

Stoic... Trust me Doing, I'm now doing UTMOST inhale wine swiftly through nose as fucking MORTIFIED vis how that reads!!! And AF yep, can now see why you asked....!!!

I got what you meant and didn't take it as a pick-up, but then I'm fairly blind to that kind of thing anyway!!

Half I think if you read the questions it does become clear where the anger might come from. It's a lot to do with the perceived shoving of womankind into a box which Jack is trying (seemingly) to climb out of.

I have said, as far as I'm concerned, that I see now that some of that anger has been misdirected. I still think it is very valid, but I see that Jack is trying to do more to break down the barriers that perhaps it at first seemed.

I'm not angry. I'm a little sad; a little helpless. Because this isn't about what Jack calls themself. Not really.

No, not your anger to explain. Perhaps my question was wrong. I suppose I mean how and why do you manage to open up to us here and put yourself on the receiving end of so much anger. You must have a way of rationalising it to yourself.

Penguinsareace not to take over from Jack but the issue with that is we live in a heteronormative society, where people will assume and it is honest to correct them if their assumptions are wrong.

I second the question about whether or not you wanted to be a spokesperson for trans, or whether you just wanted to focus on your, brilliant if I may say so myself, campaigning on poverty. Particuarly when as people below say, trans activists have campaigned against the safe spaces that disproportionately benefit women and mothers in poverty?