I'm Jack Monroe. Ask me anything.

[MxJackMonroe]

Hi Mumsnet.

It seems every time I am in the news, a MN thread about all things transgender crops up. I didn't see the last one (yesterday?) as I don't come on here very often these days - people who eavesdrop etc etc. I was cooking in a tent in a muddy field all day, having a ball, not googling myself on the internet!

The thread was deleted - which was nothing to do with me, nor my lawyer. The day I call him about a MN thread is the day I pack everything in for good. So far only the Mail and Hopkins have had legal action taken against them, and both for quite serious statements. I'm not rich enough nor quite bothered enough to call him every time someone says mean words on the internets.

ANYWAY. Threads about me tend to get deleted. So here's a new one. Because there are clearly some questions that keep coming up, criticisms that I could answer, speculation I could clarify and untruths that could do with correction.

So I'm taking questions. I'm an adult and I take an awful lot of criticism and unkindness online, on the chin. I am pretty mentally stable right now, and feel this could be a constructive discussion.

In order to stop this descending into pandemonium, using general 'chair' rules, to start with I'll take one question from each user - if it's quiet and everything gets answered, feel free to add follow up questions.

It doesn't have to be about boobs, dresses, hormones. Literally ask me anything.

MN - please don't delete this thread. I think people have valid things to say and I'm here with my big girl/boy pants on to hear them.

Over to you.

Sorry, I lost my ?

Ok I have another.

Do you accept the need to draw a line between medically diagnosed body dysmorphia, and a man in a dress insisting on attending a women only rape support group? Or a TopShop changing room?

Jack. I posted earlier (whilst being climbed all over) so it was 'half a job', I just wanted to add that whilst I fundamentally disagree with the general trend towards binary/non binary etc, i really like the way you write & your openess here. I like that you are writing naturally & not 'formally'. I loved it when you first became known & I was impressed with how you'd coped & how you became 'known'. I am absolutely disgusted with the vile things you have aimed at you on various social media.

Hope you enjoy the movie! The 10 yo doesn't want to go because she 'already knows what happens' (I actually think she means 'It'll be a bit scary' - she's a bit odd re films!). If it's good I'll have to go alone 😁

The logical conclusion of identifying as "non binary" is that "binary" exists

This. I am not sure what the NHS diagnosed as to get a diagnosis of transgender and HRT, you need to:

Get a pyschiatrist report
'Prove it' by living as a member of the opposite sex for a year (not sure how people do that if they are non binary). It's often done with name changes, evidence from work, documents.
Then (and after long waiting lists) you get an 'officlal' diagnosis and then HRT if you want it.

I think that gives you a diagnosis of transsexualism. Not transgender.

While I appreciate the OP's willingness to come on here and speak to us (and hope she is now enjoying the movie) it is frustrating that the questions being picked for answers are not addressing the kind of issues that kept coming up on last night's thread. I don't think we've come close to an answer to this one: why does feeling you can't confirm with gender roles lead to defining oneself as non binary, rather than rejecting gender roles from within the sex you were born into?

**

Iggi999 Mon 25-Jul-16 17:30:10 At the end of this thread, I suspect I will still be asking "what is the difference between growing up dissatisfied with gender stereotyping and rejecting being expected to confirm to a certain "role" as a woman, and ending up as a feminist, and ending up as transgender or non-binary?"
This is such a good opportunity to give an answer to this question, which - in different ways- has been asked by many on this thread and others.

Dear Iggy et al - Jack has now repeatedly said/been UBER clear will only answer complex questions with due regard and thought; not off top of head; not from a fucking phone,& when also juggling a 6 six year. So why the fuck KEEP labouring the point, chasing for answers immediately, and insinuating there is some kind of 'ducking' the questions/s when it's patently clear that is not the case?

FFS

What an epic x/post with Iggy....

Get a pyschiatrist report
'Prove it' by living as a member of the opposite sex for a year (not sure how people do that if they are non binary). It's often done with name changes, evidence from work, documents.
Then (and after long waiting lists) you get an 'officlal' diagnosis and then HRT if you want it.

I had the psychiatrists report.
I changed my name 5 years ago.
I provided evidence of this and supporting documents.
I had a long discussion with a doctor about all manner of things. Hours.
I came away with a diagnosis that I am transgender.
I am taking hormones.

Jack, I think it's cool you've come on here to answer questions, and you're answering loads more than invited guests tend to which is great. I also loved your food blog - I haven't checked it out in a long time so no idea if you're still doing it, but back when you started I really admired you.

I understand you have some issues with your body and maybe don't feel the way you think a woman should feel... most women hate their body and none of us feel like a woman because no such feeling exists!. Can you honestly not see how bsckwards it is to say I don't do/like/feel XYZ, therefore I am not a woman? Being a woman is a fact of biology. You can be any type of woman you like but it will not change your biology.

Genuinely, what do you think a woman is? You have a son, I have a daughter. I will teach her that there are biological differences between boys and girls and some stupid people may treat them in different ways because of this, but that she can be any type of girl she wants. What will you teach your son?

Do you accept the need to draw a line between medically diagnosed body dysmorphia, and a man in a dress insisting on attending a women only rape support group? Or a TopShop changing room?

I very much doubt it were supposed to just put up with this shit

Weres my safe space i have one a teenage boy decides he is was born in the wrong baldly should he be allowed to go into the girls loos change with the girls and play with the girls in sport

As Somone with girls and a boy my answer would be no what do others think

That's what I was trying to get at too Iggi. You put it more succinctly.

How do you "live as a woman" if you are originally a man?

Long hair? Not all women
Girly name? Not all women
Make up? Not all women
No interest in football? Not all women

Conversely, even if you could:

have kids? Not all women
Menstruate? Not all women

So you see the difficult in constructing "binary"?!

Jack, isn't everyone non binary? Doesn't gender simply not exist?

Body

Is the BFG worth seeing?

Jack, isn't everyone non binary? Doesn't gender simply not exist?

That is pretty much my entire point.

I came away with a diagnosis that I am transgender

How did you live as a member of the opposite sex given that you are non binary?

The real life experience.

Indeed Lady. These are complex questions with complex answers and I doubt anything that Jack says will satisfy or even really change the debate here.
What is a woman and what is a man? Some think the answer is simple biology and others don't.
Jack can talk from their experience and is doing so admirably and kindly.

So yes gender doesn't exist you agree.
But do you also agree sex does exist? And segregation on sex is important in some ways?

Is the BFG worth seeing?

Yes. Even more worth seeing when you haven't started a webchat on the nuances of gender identity that you feel compelled to keep on top of.

Thanks Jack.

So if gender doesn't exist, does it matter whether someone calls you he or she?

If it doesn't matter whether you wear trousers or a dress, you can be a female, in a dress, with lipstick and heels, and still be non binary?

Jack, isn't everyone non binary? Doesn't gender simply not exist

That is pretty much my entire point

But the NHS diagnosis works on that principle that people are 'in the wrong body and feel they are a man or a woman.

How does non binary and accepting gender does not exist - unless it is about the body for you?

Unless you are taking HRT to get rid of that 'femaleness' ?

How did you live as a member of the opposite sex given that you are non binary

I wasn't asked to and never claim that I have. My medical report said I presented as 'masculine-leaning androgynous'.

Thing is you can say your what ever you want to be

I have this disscussion a lot as I have two mixed raced daughters however

You are what society views you as

My mixed daughters are half white but they will never be treated as white sometimes as mixed but always as black

So however light they are they will be treated as black just the same and trams if your very masculine you can pull on whatever frock you like but you will treated as a man

Why do you take hormones if you dont want to transition?

The BFG is supposed to be very good Blurton.

^Jack, isn't everyone non binary? Doesn't gender simply not exist?

That is pretty much my entire point.^

I totally agree.. thats kind of what i was trying to say talking about my 'TV/'Non binary DH and my 'post menopause gender' feelings

Watch the film Jack!!