I'm Jack Monroe. Ask me anything.

[MxJackMonroe]

Hi Mumsnet.

It seems every time I am in the news, a MN thread about all things transgender crops up. I didn't see the last one (yesterday?) as I don't come on here very often these days - people who eavesdrop etc etc. I was cooking in a tent in a muddy field all day, having a ball, not googling myself on the internet!

The thread was deleted - which was nothing to do with me, nor my lawyer. The day I call him about a MN thread is the day I pack everything in for good. So far only the Mail and Hopkins have had legal action taken against them, and both for quite serious statements. I'm not rich enough nor quite bothered enough to call him every time someone says mean words on the internets.

ANYWAY. Threads about me tend to get deleted. So here's a new one. Because there are clearly some questions that keep coming up, criticisms that I could answer, speculation I could clarify and untruths that could do with correction.

So I'm taking questions. I'm an adult and I take an awful lot of criticism and unkindness online, on the chin. I am pretty mentally stable right now, and feel this could be a constructive discussion.

In order to stop this descending into pandemonium, using general 'chair' rules, to start with I'll take one question from each user - if it's quiet and everything gets answered, feel free to add follow up questions.

It doesn't have to be about boobs, dresses, hormones. Literally ask me anything.

MN - please don't delete this thread. I think people have valid things to say and I'm here with my big girl/boy pants on to hear them.

Over to you.

The diagnosis I have had is that I am transgender

But someone who is transgender is someone who is 'trapped in the wrong body' and needs medical help.

You aren't a trans man. You've said that. But you like to 'present' as what society expects a man or a woman to look like.

I'm going to come over all granny-like and tell you that I'm sure you look lovely in lots of different formalwear - such a lovely face.

Now, back to the bit about defining people as binary/non-binary being incredibly regressive and limiting.

I cannot believe that it's liberal or progressive to think that there are thoughts, needs or feelings that only belong in a man or a women.

I thought eventually gender would disappear...

Yay ! Good for you, for wanting to be true to you ! And for making it so !

Hats off to you for that !!
Keep smiling !

Respect to you Jack for being prepared to come on here and answer questions from a fairly hostile group.

(And no, I wouldn't consider a camisole nice either).

To get HRT and a diagnosis, you need to jump through A LOT of hoops. You also need to 'live as the member of the gender you identify with ' for a year before you get HRT.

I am struggling to see how you got a diagnosis of non binary transgender when you don't identify as a trans man. The NHS system isn't really set up for that.

poster MyMurphy Mon 25-Jul-16 18:45:54
Just a few things to add. Thank you Jack for coming on here and answering questions, It has been really interesting. Please don't feel that you need to refer to "dressing up in full drag", surely you are dressing in what you feel comfortable. Plus, never ask permission from anybody as to what to wear to a "Formal occasion", I have never heard of anybody having to do that!
but there are unwritten rules you be a bit of a twat Turing up to a funeral in bright pink unless asked really

Jack, you haven't answered my question. Is Dolzeal black?

(And "female enough" to get pregnant and have a child is pretty female. Certainly more female than I am)

Good to see this, I hope this discussion continues in the friendly veinthis evening as it has it has so far.

I'm outing myself here ( have not said this on MN before) and say that I have lived happily for over 25 years with a male who doesnt really consider himself totally a male. we have kids/ grandchildren, and 'normal' (whats that?) life.

Some people would just call him a transvestite, as he doesnt feel the need to 'transition formally' but as a lable I think that is so limiting , ( and sadly transvestisism is often just confused in some peoples minds with sexual fetishism)

Identifying a 'transvestite' as this may not seem the same kind of thing too many people here , but i think being 'bi gendered' is much more common that people would think.

Now I am over the menopause, I have sadly lost my libido , I dont really feel any gender. (though I look a like a woman , and dress like one , most of the time) but really I have never really felt like one thing or another.. Im glad to have transitioned 'back' to pretty much a non sexual being .. .
I do agree about the horribleness that is living with big (non feeling boobs) BTW!
Good on you Jack

My main question (if I have one ) is about the testosterone.. more about what it may do to you long term..Can you say more about what information you have regarding this?

I do think that people who say they are trans should be given HRT - I also think that if someone who says they are trans and wants to be seen as a transperson but refuses to take HRT is not 'really trans'. (although there may be some medical reasons)

Or they might be concerned about the implications of taking HRT. Testosterone can cause 'male' pattern baldness, high blood pressure, acne and increased risk of blood clots. That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure there's more. Nobody should be encouraged to take serious medication to prove that they're 'trans enough'.

(am at the cinema watching the BFG with my 6 year old now, so will be back later!)

but there are unwritten rules you be a bit of a twat Turing up to a funeral in bright pink unless asked really

Was that a reference to Alan Turing?

What to you defines being a woman?

(men produce approx 20 times the amount of testosterone than women. Women who have very high levels of testosterone - enough to cause fertility issues and things like excess hair, usually still produce lower levels of testosterone than men and are still women.)

Before I go...

HermioneWeasley: Jack, you haven't answered my question. Is Dolzeal black? (And "female enough" to get pregnant and have a child is pretty female. Certainly more female than I am)

I just want to clarify this one.

Firstly it seems as though Dolezeal has no biological claim to her blackness but it is something she clearly feels very strongly and requires more than a throwaway comparison to gender identity to fully explore it.

Secondly I have never said anywhere, nor do I believe, that women who cannot reproduce are not female. I was paraphrasing someone else to answer their question. Women are not just babymaking machines and that is not a view I want attributeed to me, at all.

[RESUMES BFG AND POPCORN]

I have literally nothing profound to say. Except, I think you're awesome and extremely brave to keep tackling those complete vile idiots on Facebook. (I dont really do Twitter but assume they're worse there).
Love reading your blog and your Instagram is full of really lovely pictures.
I'll admit the photo-shoot is slightly confusing but you rock either look and you're happy and are who you are and that's what's important. The haters aren't.

But someone who is transgender is someone who is 'trapped in the wrong body' and needs medical help.

Transgender people may or may not decided to have medical treatment. It's an individual decision. As any of us have the right (or should have the right) to accept or decline any medical treatment. Just like I am menopausal, but decided against HRT. It's an individual decision.

Enjoy the film, and kudos for sstarting and sticking with this thread.

Jack, I would also wear a tux to a formal event.

It sounds as if you think people should stick to a stereotype whereas I looked at the pictures - disappointed to hear you directed that - and thought "what am I missing? Surely Jack isn't lumping make up in as female"

Its sad that your family did that to you but I would have thought the sensible response would be to fights against gender stereotyping, you seem to be reinforcing it.

Jack, I very much admire your honesty and willingness to engage with normal people (well, mumsnetters, anyway).

What is a woman? That is the question that keeps coming up and that I keep asking myself whenever this thing of "I am a woman, even though I have XY chromosomes and a penis and testicles" comes up.

Do you believe that these men are women?

Danielle Muscato

Jaris Bailey Lovado

Alex Drummond

Davina Ayrton

I don't. I think these people are men and if they want to wear dresses (in Danielle's cases, he doesn't), that's fine. But if you d think they're women, I'd genuinely be interested to know, why you think they are. What makes someone a woman? Just a feeling? In that case, why am I a woman? I've never felt like one, except when I menstruate, when I've been pregnant, birthing and breastfeeding and when men mansplain me and patronise me and treat me like a woman. Otherwise, I've always just felt like a person. So what makes a woman? And what is a man?

lorelei

I wear makeup regardless of what else i'm wearing. I just matched the red to the dress. I'm not lumping anything in, the whole point was that it is all 'me' regardless of the accessories.

Jack, I am going to go a bit fangirly for a moment to say I think you're awesome and I really respect you.

I'm sorry you're getting shit from people over being who you are.

I for one am glad that other people - young people - might be able to look at you and know they're not alone.

I know you'd mentioned in that Observer article that you might consider politics one day, and I think a PP mentioned it upthread too. I think it'd be a good idea. We need some politicians with fire in their bellies!

Do you think that the whole "non binary" thing just reinforces stereotypes for the rest of us women?

You could be challenging the stereotype of what it means to be a woman, but instead it feels like you're making a special private category just for you, whilst throwing everyone else under the bus.

The logical conclusion of identifying as "non binary" is that "binary" exists. So everyone else is trapped in the pink/heels/boobs/weak female binary miasma.

Do you see how someone could think that by identifying the way you have you have reinforced those stereotypes?

i haven't rtft but would like to ask two questions if i may. I apologise as i am not up to speed with transgender terminology.

There are genetic conditions that lead to folk being "intersex" Turners and kleinfelt are two that spring to mind. I can't remember how they present. Some are a result of chromosomal differences or mutations that affect certain hormones and consequently the genetalia. Do you Jack, have any of these "conditions" (some of which have additional implications for health). Sorry i really don't know what your situation is but have read a bit on here etc.

or is your gender more of a personal choice or something you feel is "hardwired" into your personality.

I guess my question (s) is one of nature v nurture.

can we as individuals choose our gender do you think or are we obeying something more deepseated?

Also Jack, what do you think about the move towards transing kids? And the theory that this is just a new, politically correct form of conversion therapy? It's reasonably well known that gender non-conforming children, generally grow up to be gay, so if you give them hormones and a sex change, basically firstly you are sterilising them (these drugs make people infertile) and ensuring gay people can't reproduce and secondly, you are ensuring that they can't be homosexual or lesbian. This really disturbs me because I think there's a huge streak of homophobia, in people's willingness to trans children. In Iran, it is much easier to be trans, than to be gay - the Koran has nothing to say about trans, so muslim clerics have no objections to it and forcing healthy young people to transition, is seen as more desirable than being gay. Look at their women's football team

And on that subject - how do you feel about self-identification being the trojan horse used to destroy women's sport?

Also what, to you, defines being a man.