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Alpha Men Wanting Clever Working Wives

133 replies

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 14:55

This makes sense. You want someone you can talk to for the next 40 years.

January 14, 2007

Alpha males forsake the trophy wife
Roger Dobson
THE allure of the trophy wife may be fading. Academics say they have found the first evidence that successful British males increasingly prefer a spouse with a high-powered job to one who stays at home with the children.

They reached their conclusion after comparing men?s incomes with the number of hours women worked. In the 1980s, the higher a man?s salary, the lower the average number of hours worked by his wife.

Now the situation has reversed. A professional man?s salary is 5.5% higher for every 1,000 hours a year worked by his wife, according to the study.

Experts welcomed the findings as evidence that male acceptance of female success is becoming widespread. But others said the burgeoning numbers of ?power couples? may represent a new elite opening up a gap with the rest of the population.

?This is the first strong evidence of a turnaround in the link between wives? hours and husbands? earnings for any country,? said Paul Carlin, the economics professor who led the study, to be published in the journal Labour Economics. ?But there is one potential downside. It could contribute to the widening income distribution gap in Britain because you are doubling up on the earning power.?

The findings suggest couples such as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones or the Labour husband-and-wife ministers Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper, in which the wife has a successful career in her own right, are now typical of professional classes.

The stay-at-home wife may become an endangered species, although a court case last year showed she can still fight back.

Melissa Miller won £5m from her former husband Alan, a top fund manager, in the Lords hearing. His barrister contrasted the ?wife who works hard looking after the children? with Melissa, the ?Harvey Nichols wife?, at which point Lady Justice Hale cut in and asked: ?Which does the husband more value, the trophy wife or the workaday wife? The trophy wife, of course.?

The new findings were backed by David Rosenblatt, 44, from Liverpool, head of Genie-Tech International, a beauty treatment maker. He said being able to discuss business was an important part of his marriage to Carole, also 44, who runs the city?s OC Spa. ?If you want to be successful nowadays, it is important to be in a working partnership,? said Rosenblatt.

Dan Church, 32, from Surrey, co-founder of the City headhunt-ers Hydrogen Group, said his wife Olivia Stockdale?s ?drive and ambition? were what attracted him. Stockdale runs Iberian International, a property consultancy. ?Some men might find it a threat, but men in general don?t expect women to give up careers any more,? said Church.

Carlin, an economics professor at Purdue University in Indi-ana, carried out his research using national data on age, earnings, education, type of job and other factors to analyse how ?matching? of couples had changed over two decades.

For the early 1980s, Carlin and two academics from Swan-sea University found evidence of ?assortative mating? ? men marrying women with similar features such as height, education and sense of humour.

Earnings were the one area where this consistently failed to hold true. The factors blamed include the need to take time off for childbearing, discrimination at work and the convention in which a successful man?s wife often gave up her career to ?sup-port? her husband. This ?wage penalty? is what has changed.

The pay gap between the sexes fell from 45% in 1970 to 25% in 2002. Employment rate for married mothers was about 50% in the early 1980s but is now nearer 70%.

Anastasia de Waal, of the think tank Civitas, said Carlin?s findings were encouraging, but warned: ?Concentration of high power and long hours within the same couples will concern those worried about parenting time or widening income inequality.?

\link{http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-2546760,00.html}

OP posts:
Edam · 14/01/2007 19:13

Ho ho ho at the idea of MI as a surrendered wife. Although the idea can be tempting when I'm faced with a pile of bills and policy renewals...

Think I'm becoming dull since started working part-time from home - not enough social interaction with (fleeting) colleagues or with fellow mothers.

Monkeytrousers · 14/01/2007 19:14

"Either you're gay and everyone in the department ends up being gay as you hired them or white public school or all female and then you exclude some good people."

But then whats the point of having 10 individuals who can't get on?

Aderyn · 14/01/2007 19:29

"liek attracts like - but isn't that the secret of compatability?" MT

Yes, but what I am saying is that the men might not be marrying different types of women. They're attracted to the same woman, what has changed is that the woman is working and not staying at home. The man isn't necessarily changing his preference. The man isn't changing anything. The woman has changed (alongside social norms and expectations)

foundintranslation · 14/01/2007 19:29

FIS - not really. We're both graduates and both short , but there the similarity ends (dh = blond, psychologist, working class background, brought up in former GDR; me = dark, mod langs, MC English background).

NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 19:38

what about 'opposites attract' ??

DP diligent - hard working- studious -very academic-even tempered - dark brown eyed

me - lazy- naughty- feisty - blue eyed blonde?

Aloha · 14/01/2007 19:41

I completely agree with those saying that to describe this huge social change as just 'men don't marry bimbos any more' is stupidly simplistic. There has been a massive change in the way couples operate and in women's expectations about work. Its a bit like saying, more men marry women with cars today than did in the 1950s... therefore men must really value driving as a skill nowadays. The point is, more women drive now and own their own cars, just as more women go to university and work. The social pressure to stay at home has lifted, women marry later, the whole picture has changed. Women have changed just as much as men have.
I was comparing the situation with Diana v Kate Middleton. It would now be socially unthinkable for a man like Charles who was experienced and 30+ to marry a 19year old virgin even if he could find one in the whole of Chelsea. But even then she wasn't his personal first choice, and he had proposed at least one highly educated, career-oriented woman, which maybe suggests that the change in society is greater than the change in individual men.

Aloha · 14/01/2007 19:42

In short, I agree with Aderyn

Aldina · 14/01/2007 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch · 14/01/2007 19:46

Aldina, that's a person remark and they're not allowed here.

Aderyn · 14/01/2007 19:48

Yes but Aloha, you took the words out of my mouth and made the point sound elpquent

foundintranslation · 14/01/2007 19:52

Aldina - easy way out? Thanks.

Aldina · 14/01/2007 19:56

Lets be fair, going out to work FT is easier than staying at home all day looking after babies or toddlers.

Aderyn · 14/01/2007 19:57

Oh please, let's not go off on that tangent. Let's not generalise.

foxinsocks · 14/01/2007 19:59

depends what you're good at

and whether you have a choice

and and...I could go on but I won't

Monkeytrousers · 14/01/2007 20:00

Greeny - Yeah, from Barking I bet!

Aldina · 14/01/2007 20:02

Fair comment. I shouldnt generalise but I have a lot of female friends who have gone back to work full-time because they reckon its easier than being a SAHM, and I have to agree, it really is.

suedonim · 14/01/2007 20:16

My psychologist ds and I were talking about this kind of thing recently and he said that people subconsciously look for someone like themselves and who stands the best chance of propagating their genes. It's same throughout the animal kingdom, from humankind down. The Tom Cruise/Bernie Eccleston phenomenon is explained by their having power to make up for their less than ideal physical properties.

controlfreaky2 · 14/01/2007 20:52

xenia, you are clearly an intelligent and articulate woman..... wish you'd get off this hobby horse and start a thread about something different for once... [yawn emoticon]

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 22:26

The work thing is interesting. Some companies do the plane test. If you had to take an 18 hour business flight with someone would you want to spend the time with them? So if you're male and into Chelsea you might recruit someone like you. If you're a working mother of 5 children you might want someone who will talk to you about babies for the flight or whatever. In larger companies that can mean you never recruit certain sorts of people who might actually b e good at the job. In the old days if you were recruiting from the best Oxbridge graduates but didn't look at women you would lose a good proportion of the best candidates who your opposition might snap up. So narrow recruting people like us policies don't always work best.

In relationships the psychologist is right - people tend to pick someone similar at least in core values. Some marriages break up if the differences are too wide.

From the look of some other threads some couples see so little of each other and have so little sex it may not matter if they bore the pants off each other because they've become a working unit to bring up children but don't much inter react with each other and that works fine for some people.

OP posts:
controlfreaky2 · 15/01/2007 00:02

article in today's observer women's magazine. nicola horlick interviewed under "superwoman" heading....
"there are very few things, except family, that really matter".....

NotAnOtter · 15/01/2007 00:11

Yee Haaa Enfin the voice of reason!

controlfreaky2 · 15/01/2007 00:14

wonder if she felt that before she lost he daughter? {sad}
who would have thunk it eh? nicola horlick in voice of reason shock horror probe....

Monkeytrousers · 15/01/2007 00:48

I used to work with a lot of male lawyers. Over lunch, one of them mentioned (and this was before I'd had DS) that it was sometimes difficult meeting so many people over such a demographic range but that even in business class the best opening gambit was 'do you have children' and if you did you always had something interesting to talk about.

OrmIrian · 15/01/2007 12:29

motherinferior - "Oddly enough I seem to have stumbled across a trove of blokes who actively prefer to earn less than me. Oh how lucky I am. Not."

PMSL!!!! Me too.....oh I can't beleive my luck sometimes....

merryberry · 15/01/2007 13:17

the thing that has stuck with me from this thread is the notion that bernie eccleston and tom cruise are a couple.

well that's how i read it: Xenia on Sun 14-Jan-07 19:03:39