Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

News

Alpha Men Wanting Clever Working Wives

133 replies

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 14:55

This makes sense. You want someone you can talk to for the next 40 years.

January 14, 2007

Alpha males forsake the trophy wife
Roger Dobson
THE allure of the trophy wife may be fading. Academics say they have found the first evidence that successful British males increasingly prefer a spouse with a high-powered job to one who stays at home with the children.

They reached their conclusion after comparing men?s incomes with the number of hours women worked. In the 1980s, the higher a man?s salary, the lower the average number of hours worked by his wife.

Now the situation has reversed. A professional man?s salary is 5.5% higher for every 1,000 hours a year worked by his wife, according to the study.

Experts welcomed the findings as evidence that male acceptance of female success is becoming widespread. But others said the burgeoning numbers of ?power couples? may represent a new elite opening up a gap with the rest of the population.

?This is the first strong evidence of a turnaround in the link between wives? hours and husbands? earnings for any country,? said Paul Carlin, the economics professor who led the study, to be published in the journal Labour Economics. ?But there is one potential downside. It could contribute to the widening income distribution gap in Britain because you are doubling up on the earning power.?

The findings suggest couples such as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones or the Labour husband-and-wife ministers Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper, in which the wife has a successful career in her own right, are now typical of professional classes.

The stay-at-home wife may become an endangered species, although a court case last year showed she can still fight back.

Melissa Miller won £5m from her former husband Alan, a top fund manager, in the Lords hearing. His barrister contrasted the ?wife who works hard looking after the children? with Melissa, the ?Harvey Nichols wife?, at which point Lady Justice Hale cut in and asked: ?Which does the husband more value, the trophy wife or the workaday wife? The trophy wife, of course.?

The new findings were backed by David Rosenblatt, 44, from Liverpool, head of Genie-Tech International, a beauty treatment maker. He said being able to discuss business was an important part of his marriage to Carole, also 44, who runs the city?s OC Spa. ?If you want to be successful nowadays, it is important to be in a working partnership,? said Rosenblatt.

Dan Church, 32, from Surrey, co-founder of the City headhunt-ers Hydrogen Group, said his wife Olivia Stockdale?s ?drive and ambition? were what attracted him. Stockdale runs Iberian International, a property consultancy. ?Some men might find it a threat, but men in general don?t expect women to give up careers any more,? said Church.

Carlin, an economics professor at Purdue University in Indi-ana, carried out his research using national data on age, earnings, education, type of job and other factors to analyse how ?matching? of couples had changed over two decades.

For the early 1980s, Carlin and two academics from Swan-sea University found evidence of ?assortative mating? ? men marrying women with similar features such as height, education and sense of humour.

Earnings were the one area where this consistently failed to hold true. The factors blamed include the need to take time off for childbearing, discrimination at work and the convention in which a successful man?s wife often gave up her career to ?sup-port? her husband. This ?wage penalty? is what has changed.

The pay gap between the sexes fell from 45% in 1970 to 25% in 2002. Employment rate for married mothers was about 50% in the early 1980s but is now nearer 70%.

Anastasia de Waal, of the think tank Civitas, said Carlin?s findings were encouraging, but warned: ?Concentration of high power and long hours within the same couples will concern those worried about parenting time or widening income inequality.?

\link{http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-2546760,00.html}

OP posts:
Tortington · 14/01/2007 17:31

NAO she obviously wasn't refering to you, your tall slim and have a high IQ.

NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 17:32

too right

motherinferior · 14/01/2007 17:38

Actually, what Xenia said is that all mothers have a tendency to get a bit fatter, as well as embroiled with childcare and day to day life. The last two very definitely apply to me - and I'm much more boring as a result, I can tell you - even if I'm much the same weight.

And the SAHM issue aside, I think there is an interesting point if the long-term tendency of high-earning blokes to go for 'trophy' wives is in fact being reversed. Well, I thnk it's interesting, anyway.

filthymindedvixen · 14/01/2007 17:39

She likes to lecture us all...
I know I, for one, am extremely grateful that such a gracious, intelligent and successful woman is happy to take time out of being practically perfect in every way, in order to show us poor, stupid, fat, downtrodden, unambitious SAHMs where we are going wrong.

NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 17:41

'clever working' in one sentence.
I am clever but not working. There was an article in the Times Ed about what this country needs is clever sahms. Whats happening is all the shit hot ones go out to work so kids are not being brought-up day to day by the high achievers

Edam · 14/01/2007 17:42

Agree with MI, it's nice to see some evidence, however slim, that men (in general) are no longer looking for women who earn less than them or trophy wives.

motherinferior · 14/01/2007 17:44

Oddly enough I seem to have stumbled across a trove of blokes who actively prefer to earn less than me. Oh how lucky I am. Not.

satine · 14/01/2007 17:45

Come to think of it, she's the Anthea Turner of MN, isn't she - showing us fat milchcows the error of our slatternly SAHM ways!

Why, before Xenia, I sometimes talked about child rearing with my friends. What was I thinking? Now we only have discussions about economics and politics. I am a far better person for it and I no longer kill people stone dead with boredom at parties when they have to talk to me.

foundintranslation · 14/01/2007 17:45

MI, me too

Edam · 14/01/2007 17:47

And me! Should have stuck with my law student boyfriend...

motherinferior · 14/01/2007 17:48

Actually, Mr Inferior does now earn more than I do. But I stand by the fact that motherhood has made me more boring. To me if not to anyone else.

winestein · 14/01/2007 17:49

And me! Is Mnet just a meeting place for women who have met losers?

Issymum · 14/01/2007 17:50

Sigh...and me. When I tentatively suggested to DH that, money issues aside, I should become a SAHM, he laughed hard, pressed my briefcase into my hand and booted me out to catch the 7.40am commuter train.

winestein · 14/01/2007 17:51

Chances are he will earn more than you if you are a SAHM or part time MI
I'm boring too - part of me has lost the will to live, let alone converse.

filthymindedvixen · 14/01/2007 17:51

I don't know many men of my generation who married tophy wives or women who 'wouldn't' earn more thna the man and therefore not damage his delicate ego ....
(I'm younger than my dh, blonde and skinny - but unfortunately too ugly to be a trophy and, though thicker than dh, have way more common sense and life skills! Strange thing, marrying for love, isn't it...)

winestein · 14/01/2007 17:51

Issymum

filthymindedvixen · 14/01/2007 17:52

dh earns more than I do, and works full time to my part time, but actually, i have way more interests than him, and at the moment, he is in danger of becoming the social dullard

winestein · 14/01/2007 17:52

You didn't did you FMF? You fool!

hunkermunker · 14/01/2007 17:53

LOL at MNers thinking they're trophy wives and getting arsey about it

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 17:54

You have such problems if you can misconstrue what I say to such an extent. Most women who have babies put on weight whether they work or not. I certainly did and my comment about stay at home mothers not being trophy wives surely made that other point clear.

There are also a large number of alpha men who want a thick pretty younger girl at home to see to their every need but this article is about clever men wanting clever wives. I am not sure it's about them all having to work. I think most men want someone they can talk to intelligently about things and many of those women (and some stay at home fathers) can do that very well. That Russian who just got wrongly arrested at a ski resort because he flew in 10 all expenses paid 20 something pretty Russian girls only flew in clever graduates. You want pretty young clever always I would have thought unless you're worried about your own brain power. I think some men would prefer to say this is my wife the surgeon or who runs Reuters rather than this is my wife who was an air hostess or Miss World and others would be quite content with the ex model.

The comment below about most of us wanting a clever solvent partner is probably true.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 14/01/2007 17:55

Issymum, I suggested (in the spirit of experiment) to DP that I become a Surrendered Wife, leaving all major decisions to him. He went white, which is not easy for a chap of his colouring.

I earned more than him for years...working four days a week. I earn what I did; he got a new job.

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 17:56

and hk I did explain I wasn't suggesting mnetters were trophy wives (i.e. stupid and pretty and slim)....

Why do stay at home mothers get their knickers in a twist more than working mothers? It amazes me. Working mothers can read day after day invented surveys about damage to under 5 is mother isn't strapped to them 24/7 and keep calm and know we're right to work and as soon as someone suggests some men might want a working wife stay at home mothers get in a right old flap. You are the ones with loving husbands. I'm the divorced one. Go figure...

OP posts:
Tortington · 14/01/2007 17:57

Xenia i dont always agree with what you say, but i think your articulate and interesting enough to read.

i think its interesting how trophy wives stirred sahms to get bolshy. Howver it won't matter what you write, if there in an ounce of contraversy it will be twisted.

motherinferior · 14/01/2007 17:58

In fact, on a related note: one thing I have noticed, including among my non-earning former partners (Mr Inferior is honourably exempt from this) - their jobs were considered more important than mine. The whole dynamic of the relationship depended on this.

It pissed me off. But I think it's probably not just restricted to my (admittedly dysfunctional) relationship history - men who say (and believe) that they want high-powered women but in fact do feel some sort of crazed apeman 'need' to be the one who's more important and takes up more space.

winestein · 14/01/2007 17:59

Xenia.. you are so right about wanting clever solvent partners. It makes me wonder more about who I ended up with though... he is clever, but far from solvent so I am not a SAHM but a very part timer dicated by needs must.
Lotto anyone?

Swipe left for the next trending thread