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Alpha Men Wanting Clever Working Wives

133 replies

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 14:55

This makes sense. You want someone you can talk to for the next 40 years.

January 14, 2007

Alpha males forsake the trophy wife
Roger Dobson
THE allure of the trophy wife may be fading. Academics say they have found the first evidence that successful British males increasingly prefer a spouse with a high-powered job to one who stays at home with the children.

They reached their conclusion after comparing men?s incomes with the number of hours women worked. In the 1980s, the higher a man?s salary, the lower the average number of hours worked by his wife.

Now the situation has reversed. A professional man?s salary is 5.5% higher for every 1,000 hours a year worked by his wife, according to the study.

Experts welcomed the findings as evidence that male acceptance of female success is becoming widespread. But others said the burgeoning numbers of ?power couples? may represent a new elite opening up a gap with the rest of the population.

?This is the first strong evidence of a turnaround in the link between wives? hours and husbands? earnings for any country,? said Paul Carlin, the economics professor who led the study, to be published in the journal Labour Economics. ?But there is one potential downside. It could contribute to the widening income distribution gap in Britain because you are doubling up on the earning power.?

The findings suggest couples such as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones or the Labour husband-and-wife ministers Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper, in which the wife has a successful career in her own right, are now typical of professional classes.

The stay-at-home wife may become an endangered species, although a court case last year showed she can still fight back.

Melissa Miller won £5m from her former husband Alan, a top fund manager, in the Lords hearing. His barrister contrasted the ?wife who works hard looking after the children? with Melissa, the ?Harvey Nichols wife?, at which point Lady Justice Hale cut in and asked: ?Which does the husband more value, the trophy wife or the workaday wife? The trophy wife, of course.?

The new findings were backed by David Rosenblatt, 44, from Liverpool, head of Genie-Tech International, a beauty treatment maker. He said being able to discuss business was an important part of his marriage to Carole, also 44, who runs the city?s OC Spa. ?If you want to be successful nowadays, it is important to be in a working partnership,? said Rosenblatt.

Dan Church, 32, from Surrey, co-founder of the City headhunt-ers Hydrogen Group, said his wife Olivia Stockdale?s ?drive and ambition? were what attracted him. Stockdale runs Iberian International, a property consultancy. ?Some men might find it a threat, but men in general don?t expect women to give up careers any more,? said Church.

Carlin, an economics professor at Purdue University in Indi-ana, carried out his research using national data on age, earnings, education, type of job and other factors to analyse how ?matching? of couples had changed over two decades.

For the early 1980s, Carlin and two academics from Swan-sea University found evidence of ?assortative mating? ? men marrying women with similar features such as height, education and sense of humour.

Earnings were the one area where this consistently failed to hold true. The factors blamed include the need to take time off for childbearing, discrimination at work and the convention in which a successful man?s wife often gave up her career to ?sup-port? her husband. This ?wage penalty? is what has changed.

The pay gap between the sexes fell from 45% in 1970 to 25% in 2002. Employment rate for married mothers was about 50% in the early 1980s but is now nearer 70%.

Anastasia de Waal, of the think tank Civitas, said Carlin?s findings were encouraging, but warned: ?Concentration of high power and long hours within the same couples will concern those worried about parenting time or widening income inequality.?

\link{http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-2546760,00.html}

OP posts:
satine · 14/01/2007 18:00

Actually, though, if men were entirely honest, wouldn't they all love to live in Stepford? With beautiful, happy wives who made them feel like kings and ran their home lives like clockwork with never a complaint? They could go to their men's club for intelligent conversation whenever they felt the need.

Tortington · 14/01/2007 18:01

no satine.

paulaplumpbottom · 14/01/2007 18:02

I don't think that true Satine. I think men like to feel pampered, don't we all, but at the end of the day they want a partner not a maid.

WideWebWitch · 14/01/2007 18:02

lol at the very idea of MI being a Surrendered Wife.

Xenia, when you said "This makes sense. You want someone you can talk to for the next 40 years" it sounded as if you were implying that if a woman wasn't working (OTH) then she might not be someone a husband could talk to. I wasn't the only person who thought that implication was there. But if I was wrong then do correct me and I'll apologise.

Issymum · 14/01/2007 18:03

DH and I both work for large although very different multinationals and there is something vaguely bonding about crashing in together at the end of a working day, shovelling the kids into bed and then, over a glass of wine, sniping about office politics, whinging about useless on-line expense systems and cackling over the latest management bullshit. There is a kind of 'shoulder to shoulder' feel about it. I'm sure you could get the same thing between one work-for-pay and one stay-at-home parent, but spending Monday through Friday dealing with similar stuff helps.

WideWebWitch · 14/01/2007 18:04

I'm NOT a sahm btw.

satine · 14/01/2007 18:05

Did you not see the grin, custy?

Aderyn · 14/01/2007 18:12

"They reached their conclusion after comparing men?s incomes with the number of hours women worked. In the 1980s, the higher a man?s salary, the lower the average number of hours worked by his wife.

Now the situation has reversed. A professional man?s salary is 5.5% higher for every 1,000 hours a year worked by his wife, according to the study."

Again, I think the iterpratation of the reasearch is dubious. It doesn't say anything about trophy wives and doesn't say anything about SAHMs.

Lots of assumptions are being made. Just because a higher proportion of women in the 80s didn't work when they were married to a high earning male doesn't mean they were trophy wives.

Just because high earning men these days (compared to the 80s) tend to be married to women who work, doesn't mean men are making a choice to marry a different type of women.

The change is because women are choosing to work.

Aderyn · 14/01/2007 18:13

interpretation

paulaplumpbottom · 14/01/2007 18:15

Adyern I agree, not very sound research

winestein · 14/01/2007 18:15

Possibly also influenced by some women having to work with high mortgages to pay, etc etc.

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 18:20

The issym point is what you do get and see but obvoiusly it deepends on the couple.
Yes, I did say someone to talk to for 40 years and that may look like I meant if you don't work you aren't clever but I don't think that. I have seen a lot of men (who work) who are far too stupid to want to get through dinner with never mind 40 years and it's not an issue of whether they work or not. It's the slowness of brain. It's me sitting there can I just put you on fast forward so you're not 4 issues behind me.

For the record stay at home mothers can look as haggard as we working mothers. Some have more time to keep looking good and sometimes working mothers who have to be able to squeeze into those office clothes and present themselves to the public conversely may have an incentive and no handy nearby kitchen to keep looking good but I don't think the appearance point is a stay at home or work one.

Whether men like women they feel better than as raised below is an interesting issue. Some do. Some don't. Probably most do and most women marry up despite the statistics in this article. 4 in 5 men earn more than their other half and women go out hunting men who can keep them and earn more so probably a lot of women like the Stepford dynamic anyway.

OP posts:
oxocube · 14/01/2007 18:23

Xenia, I didn't go out deliberately 'huntng a man who could keep me' but actually, I'm bloody glad he can

WideWebWitch · 14/01/2007 18:23

OK, fair enough then Xenia, sorry to have misinterpreted you.

NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 18:25

it seems to me Xenia studies are 'invented' to suit one camp 'not' to suit another

motherinferior · 14/01/2007 18:25

I'd rather have a man who could keep up with me.

NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 18:27

'slowness of the brain' nice

swifterella · 14/01/2007 18:27

i read this article in the sunday times today and thought of Xenia straight away! I read it as men didnt want trophy wifes anymore, i.e the 21 year old blonde with big norks and zero intelligence and did nothing. I didnt think it was referring to SAHM's

Oh and xenia has a point, i now have an arse to rival the back of a bus

swifterella · 14/01/2007 18:30

TBH i found the whole article quite patronising. Its like its saying oh men have now realised that women have the capacity to earn far more and be more brilliant than us - oh ok lets let them have a go.

motherinferior · 14/01/2007 18:31

Yes, but in a sexist society that's quite an amazing move forward.

I do, sadly, think that said sexist society reinforces the idea that men are more important in relationships than women, and that as a result quite a few men feel that their jobs take precedence. With or without children.

Plibble · 14/01/2007 18:33

I agree with Aderyn. A £ does not go as far today as it did twenty years ago. That, coupled with the fact that women today are more likely to have grown up expecting to have a career (and not work outside of the home until marriage/children only) means that far more women do work, ergo more men have partners who work. It seems pretty obvious to me that this would affect the figures.

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 18:34

Did I say in my original post it was anything to do with stay at home mothers? It's a brains issue I think. People of similar IQ and probably similar looks and backgrounds etc probably do better together. It's what matchmakers have always done and it's probably how most people have always picked their partner is they've any sense and I also suspect except for rather stupid but became rich men who want the attractive not clever young girl who worships him, it is also what alpha men and alpha women have always wanted too.

Very interesting that SAHMs who are obviously hugely defensive and may (some) need therapy see it as a threat to them.

OP posts:
NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 18:35

gosh Xenia you are terribly judgemental and methinks she 'doth protest too much'

swifterella · 14/01/2007 18:36

see that where you let yourself down xenia.

also i dont agree with that. whatever happened to opposites attract?

Monkeytrousers · 14/01/2007 18:38

Have only read the thread title so far but going on this, if it's 'correct' this is almost certainly a short term cultural phenomenon.

In the long term men will always prefer women of child bearing age with explicit fertility indicators..ie hot chicks