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Alpha Men Wanting Clever Working Wives

133 replies

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 14:55

This makes sense. You want someone you can talk to for the next 40 years.

January 14, 2007

Alpha males forsake the trophy wife
Roger Dobson
THE allure of the trophy wife may be fading. Academics say they have found the first evidence that successful British males increasingly prefer a spouse with a high-powered job to one who stays at home with the children.

They reached their conclusion after comparing men?s incomes with the number of hours women worked. In the 1980s, the higher a man?s salary, the lower the average number of hours worked by his wife.

Now the situation has reversed. A professional man?s salary is 5.5% higher for every 1,000 hours a year worked by his wife, according to the study.

Experts welcomed the findings as evidence that male acceptance of female success is becoming widespread. But others said the burgeoning numbers of ?power couples? may represent a new elite opening up a gap with the rest of the population.

?This is the first strong evidence of a turnaround in the link between wives? hours and husbands? earnings for any country,? said Paul Carlin, the economics professor who led the study, to be published in the journal Labour Economics. ?But there is one potential downside. It could contribute to the widening income distribution gap in Britain because you are doubling up on the earning power.?

The findings suggest couples such as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones or the Labour husband-and-wife ministers Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper, in which the wife has a successful career in her own right, are now typical of professional classes.

The stay-at-home wife may become an endangered species, although a court case last year showed she can still fight back.

Melissa Miller won £5m from her former husband Alan, a top fund manager, in the Lords hearing. His barrister contrasted the ?wife who works hard looking after the children? with Melissa, the ?Harvey Nichols wife?, at which point Lady Justice Hale cut in and asked: ?Which does the husband more value, the trophy wife or the workaday wife? The trophy wife, of course.?

The new findings were backed by David Rosenblatt, 44, from Liverpool, head of Genie-Tech International, a beauty treatment maker. He said being able to discuss business was an important part of his marriage to Carole, also 44, who runs the city?s OC Spa. ?If you want to be successful nowadays, it is important to be in a working partnership,? said Rosenblatt.

Dan Church, 32, from Surrey, co-founder of the City headhunt-ers Hydrogen Group, said his wife Olivia Stockdale?s ?drive and ambition? were what attracted him. Stockdale runs Iberian International, a property consultancy. ?Some men might find it a threat, but men in general don?t expect women to give up careers any more,? said Church.

Carlin, an economics professor at Purdue University in Indi-ana, carried out his research using national data on age, earnings, education, type of job and other factors to analyse how ?matching? of couples had changed over two decades.

For the early 1980s, Carlin and two academics from Swan-sea University found evidence of ?assortative mating? ? men marrying women with similar features such as height, education and sense of humour.

Earnings were the one area where this consistently failed to hold true. The factors blamed include the need to take time off for childbearing, discrimination at work and the convention in which a successful man?s wife often gave up her career to ?sup-port? her husband. This ?wage penalty? is what has changed.

The pay gap between the sexes fell from 45% in 1970 to 25% in 2002. Employment rate for married mothers was about 50% in the early 1980s but is now nearer 70%.

Anastasia de Waal, of the think tank Civitas, said Carlin?s findings were encouraging, but warned: ?Concentration of high power and long hours within the same couples will concern those worried about parenting time or widening income inequality.?

\link{http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-2546760,00.html}

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 14/01/2007 14:57

that's right Xenia
only women who WOHM are "clever"
SAHMs are all stupid and you can't talk to them
FGS

SoupDragon · 14/01/2007 14:58

So, you think that SAHMs are more stupid and less interesting than a working mother?

harpsichordcarrier · 14/01/2007 15:01

I know I am, soupy.
I had my brain surgically removed when I went on maternity leave. I don't miss it much actually

CountessDracula · 14/01/2007 15:02

I take it you didn't marry an Alpha male then Xenia

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 15:07

Most stay at home mothers are not trophy wives. like most working mothers they tend to get fat and embroiled with child care and day to day life. They are certainly not trophy wives. So don't think I'm suggesting you're all blonde and slim, 20 years younger than your husband and in the gym all day ...laughing as I type...

Was my ex husband an alpha male? I thought he had some of those characteristics. I was more interested in his feminist credentials and they were impeccable.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 14/01/2007 15:07

"like most working mothers they tend to get fat" What?? pmsl. Dom't judge us all by your own standards!

SenoraPartridge · 14/01/2007 15:08

the great sahm/wohm debate aside, why is it exactly that in theb 21st century we';re going on about what kind of wives men are choosing? why don't the times run articles about how alpha women are choosing stupid men or what have you? or, for that matter, why aren't they running some news instead?

Gingerbear · 14/01/2007 15:11

God, I would love a toy-boy bimbo trophy husband.

Gingerbear · 14/01/2007 15:14

Who is hung like a horse.

hercules1 · 14/01/2007 15:16

Xenia, I actually think you're a great asset to mumsnet but I do think as another poster said once something awful must have happened to you along the path of life as your view of men and women can be pretty dismal at times.

Judy1234 · 14/01/2007 15:25

I had an awful long marriage and very nasty divorce and my mother died 2 years ago, my father is ill... yes, life isn't always that fun.

But that doesn't mean it's not an interesting topic. I also agree - let's have some articles the other way round. There have been. Women like me do often get younger men but for me it's the same principle in the article, they're not as interesting and don't quite match you in the same way. In some ways as I don't need man for money or babies etc why not pick someone 10 years younger and follow the lead of people like Sadie Frost, Joan Collins etc, find someone who will worship my feet and see to my every need but I think many men and women want someone with similar business interests etc they can discuss. We'll see.

OP posts:
hercules1 · 14/01/2007 15:26

I actually agree with a lot of what you say but disagree with some bits too.

Greensleeves · 14/01/2007 15:28

I think you're barking

paulaplumpbottom · 14/01/2007 17:10

Xenia I think its terribly narrow minded the way you constantly tar everyone with the same brush. I know that I haven't gotten fat or stopped being Intelligent just because I am a SAHM. This is also the case with most of the SAHMs I know. I think you must be a really bitter person.

Aderyn · 14/01/2007 17:11

The article doesn't actually say whether they looked at couples who have children. Why does the conclusion have to be "men are choosing a different type of woman to marry" :hmm

Fewer women are having children - especially graduate females. Surely the conclusion to draw is that fewer professionals are choosing to have children not that men are choosing wives that work :hmm

colditz · 14/01/2007 17:11

Everyone wants a clever financially solvent [partner, not just alpha men! LOL

Aderyn · 14/01/2007 17:11

and

NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 17:15

Dear Dear xenia - my dp is quite Alpha -esque and I am tall slim blonde with 5 children and a bloody high IQ thankyou very much

satine · 14/01/2007 17:17

Xenia, I'm beginning to wonder if you are pushing this discussion topic a little far now. Is it actually yourself you're trying to convince?

oxocube · 14/01/2007 17:17

Could I also add that for a long time, I felt that my DH secretly wanted someone cleverer/more professional, possibly someone who worked in his field (even though I did go to Uni and get a degree, but am really happy being a SAHM). When I finally asked him about it, he said it made him happier to have a wife with whom he didn't have to compete and one who was happy to be at home looking after the kids and taking care of the house which relieved him of a lot of stress.

Probably another contentious issue but it works for us

moonshine · 14/01/2007 17:18

Begs the question Xenia, why do you regularly use a site which obviously has many sahms?

paulaplumpbottom · 14/01/2007 17:20

Maybe she likes lording over us with her superior intellect.

Tortington · 14/01/2007 17:27

she did state she wasn't refering to sahms. Rather 'trophy wives'. Glam with no career is how i take that.

I think its a good indictment of the male of the species that they seem to value more than physical appearence.

very anal MN these days.

NotAnOtter · 14/01/2007 17:29

she did say we were all fat and gone to seed after childbirth....anal?

WideWebWitch · 14/01/2007 17:30

Xenia, I like some of your posts and agree with you sometimes but I do wish you wouldn't show so much contempt for sahms.

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