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poor baby

138 replies

alexa1 · 02/11/2006 18:18

sorry is this has already been posted.
how awful.
this

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divastrop · 03/11/2006 16:37

i really dont understand how anybody can feel compassion for her.i agree with alexa,the woman must have been thick as shit.i have read about loads of cases like this over the years and if somebody is that vulnerable they are likely to get into relationships like that then they should be monitored by ss as soon as they are known to be pregnant.
my key worker at the DV centre told me that the belief that children brought up in violent households go on to form violent relationships is a myth,and an excuse used by many abusive men.

HappyMumof2 · 03/11/2006 16:40

Message withdrawn

2nervesleft · 03/11/2006 16:56

It seems to me that social services have let this baby down as they did nothing except invite the mother to a meeting despite two tip offs from a relative. The mother clearly was unable to protect her son from this monster so the state should have protected this vulnerable child.

Pixel · 03/11/2006 22:18

I read about this in the paper today. The mother admitted that the baby would "shiver with fright" at the sight of Lloyd and that he would have bruises on his face after being left in his care. But she insisted that she did not believe Lloyd would kill her son, saying " I did not think that he would seriously harm Aaron, just harm him a bit"

So that's all right then.

RobertCatesby · 03/11/2006 22:23
Frizbe · 03/11/2006 22:29
Sad
CaptainCaveman · 03/11/2006 22:40

I was just going to post that maybe the press had reported this without really paying attention to the fact she was in an abusive relationship, thus not acknowledging how her situation may have led her to behave like this.

Then I read Pixel's post and the fact that she said she thought he'd only 'harm him a bit' WTF. Clearly not on the same planet.

Cried buckets reading this, that poor poor little boy. RIP x

Dawnybabe · 03/11/2006 23:51

She was obviously just one of these stupid young girls that get pregnant at the drop of a hat, think nothing whatsoever of the consequences, then shack up with the first gormless kid that buys them a babycham in the pub. I cannot believe anyone can be so stupid as to think it's alright for someone to hurt their baby. She obviously didn't have the mental capacity to realise that this situation was very wrong, and that she had the power to do something about it. She basically let this disgusting human being control her life and kill her baby. I agree with previous posts - these people don't deserve to have children. She might have been frightened of him, but leaving her baby with him? Um, hello?

AitchTwoOh · 04/11/2006 01:10

i don't understand how people can dismiss her for being 'thick as shit', not having 'the mental capacity to realise the situation was wrong' etc etc and then conclude that she is not deserving of the slightest bit of compassion.

being stupid does not absolve you of your responsibility to take care of your children, but might it not equip you with fewer tools to do so?
i had a friend who is educated and clever, by the way, who has seen her husband batter her children, who has been repeatedly raped by him, who suspected that he was sexually abusing their daughter etc etc. the list of his abuses, i kid you not, was endless.

i and others have tried to help her in completely practical ways as well as offering emotional support, but they are still together, six kids (first is not his) and ten years later.

This is despite various people having phoned social services on them and despite the offer of a flat from womens' aid and good legal representation from a friend of ours (the reason she's no longer my friend is that i was one of the people who contacted SS).

he is a sociopath, and the reason he 'picked' her was that he could see her vulnerability. these animals would not look twice at a strong woman, what would be the point? i bet if we'd met her two months after she'd started seeing him he would already have been fully in control of her and able to do whatever he wished to her little son.

oh i don't know... the whole thing is tragic, and this woman should have spoken up of course. but i know my friend is a good person and a shit mother simultaneously, so it's hard to hear people dismiss this girl so completely. because my friend genuinely thinks that her husband's disgusting behaviour is normal, she has been so expertly trained by him.

terrible, terrible story, those photos are heartbreaking, my dd is a similar age...

divastrop · 04/11/2006 12:43

aitch,my dd is only 2 months younger than this little boy,i think thats what makes me so angry,because i know i would lay down my life to protect her.

i know these men are manipulative bastards,and i know how difficult it is to get out of an abusive relationship,but i still cant understand for a second how a mother could stand by and let somebody do that to her baby.its beyond comprehension.

AitchTwoOh · 04/11/2006 12:59

it is completely beyond comprehension, i couldn't agree more but i am just reluctant to jump to the "string 'er up" conclusion, having seen my friend evaporate in front of my eyes.

calebsmum · 05/11/2006 20:52

here the boys natural father. Poor baby, not much younger than my son, can't comprehend watching him get hurt and not doing anything about it.

alexa1 · 05/11/2006 21:25

OMG! so the bitch lied about him being the Dad. How awful for him. she really is as bad as the guy that murdered that poor little boy. He really didn't ask to be brought into this world but was treated like an inconvenience by being beaten. It makes me cry.
i do feel for the guy who thought he was his dad. Good luck to him and his new family.

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PeachyClair · 05/11/2006 22:08

Oh God No

He was such a gorgeous litttle lad- at least he is at peace now.

PeachyClair · 05/11/2006 22:11

Just a thought- but as a society we need to get involved with each other more, if we are going to help these kids, or indeed women who are being abused.

We intervened in a fight (chap was holding his partner over the water saying he was going to kill her) last week, Dh calle dpolice and I had a brief chat to her about womens Aid.... she went off with him, we thought Oh no another one but still made a statement...

got call today women came forwards, and her Partner has admitted due to the statement and is being prosecuted.

We can all help

alexa1 · 05/11/2006 22:11

Can't believe the mother lied to the 'supposed' father knowing the baby was the result of a one night stand.
I agree peachy, the baby was gorgeous and didn't have a hope of a good life with a mother like that.

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AitchTwoOh · 05/11/2006 22:13

i'm not sure peachy was saying that...

PeachyClair · 05/11/2006 22:24

er no I wasn't

I can't comment on what she was like because I don't know her, for all I know she could have severe mental health issues herself or whatever. I CAN comment on the situation and say it makes me very sad, that she should have got help and not to is unforgiveable. But strangely common in absive relationships.

Reece · 05/11/2006 23:23

Sickening

alexa1 · 06/11/2006 08:51

i wasn;t suggesting peachy said about the mother. sorry i was agreeing with peachys comment about the baby being gorgeous. i typed that in a rush and obviously didn't make it clear.
anyway, this story is still upsetting me, especially as i have a child the same age. can't believe anyone could harm a defenless little child that only wanted to be loved and cared for.

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WhizzBangCaligula · 06/11/2006 11:26

Helena Kennedy was on Woman's Hour talking about this (not this case specifically I don't think - was only half listening) but about the phenomenon of women "allowing" their children to be harmed by men. From what I heard, it was a very interesting discussion, she described how she had seen in court how an abusive man could jsut look across the courtroom at the woman he's abused and instantly reduce her to terror, restoring the dynamics of the abusive relationship just by one look. She was saying how judges, the legal profession etc. have to be made aware of that syndrome in cases like this (I have no idea if this was indeed a case like this).

AitchTwoOh · 06/11/2006 11:35

my friend's husband can do that, caligula. one look from him and she just disappears right in front of you.

webcrone · 06/11/2006 12:00

AitchTwoOh - your observations about 'training' are well made. The dynamic in abusive relationships is one of dominance and submission taken to extremes. There's a significant (and growing) amount of research linking tendencies in abusive relationships to 'The Stockholm Syndrome' which is experienced by hostage victims, whereby the victim forms an irrational attachment to the hostage taker - such attachment forms in physical and psychological extreme situations and seems to be partly hard-wired ie it's neurologically linked with the human survival instinct. This goes some way to explaining why people locked in to abusive relationships find it so hard to leave - there's often a rational understanding that leaving is the right thing to do but there's a neuro-biological (not just psychological) impulse to seek safety/approval from the abuser.

calebsmum · 06/11/2006 15:14

here

Turns out her sister gave birth the same day her son died, even her own family have disowned her, evil bitch hope she has no-one.

WhizzBangCaligula · 06/11/2006 15:28

"Initially Lewis went to stay with Ms Thomas after being charged with familial homicide. However, she said she had to ask her to leave after child protection services said Lewis could be a danger to her children."

This rang real alarm bells for me. I would like to know on what basis SS decided that Lewis was a potential danger to her children. It implies to me that they know sweet FA about domestic abuse (if that is a factor in this case) and if any profession ought to bloody well be informed about it, that one should.

Do we actually know if DV was a factor in this case, or not?