Leaving children 'home alone' - what do you think?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

A parent is arrested for leaving their child alone every day, according to new research.

The law doesn't currently specify the age at which children can be left on their own - and charges in the last three months of last year involved children between the ages of three months and 14 years.

What do you think? How old were your DC when you left them 'home alone' - and would you like to see the age at which a child can be left unsupervised defined in law?

And as I've said San, despite the fact that most parents think they know best for their children, some unfortunately do not. Some parents behave in ways which put their children at risk. If this were not the case and parents always knew best then Children's Services wouldn't exist- it wouldn't need to.

Would you think differently Fake if the law stipulated that 6 year olds, or 5 year olds couldn't be left alone?

scenario
Parent leaves child to nip to shop and is away 10 minutes. Child falls off sofa reaching for the remote control, bumps head, is crying. A neighbour hears the crying and comes round. Parent returns, neighbour gives them an earful about neglect, reports parent, police/social work get involved etc etc. papers get story, blow it out of proportion as they usually do. Parent is now feeling totally crap. But if parent had been there, would they have prevented the accident happening in the first place? No. Was the child's life threatened in anyway because of this accident any more so? No, it was just a bump on the head.
Police/sw spend their time and resources (already stretched) on dealing with this. Meanwhile in another house, a child is almost feral looking for food whilst their junkie parents lie comatosed, but hey that's ok coz the child is not alone. I know which one merits the most attention.

You have still not answered my question Flower. What would you change to make things different?

Like said if you believe its right so be it, but as the thread asks what each individual thinks ? As an individual I think its wrong under 12 and would never leave under 16 in charge of children or over night alone! But why is my opinion so wrong if that's my belief ? Thank goodness we not all brought up the same because it holds stead in adult life :) arent we meant to be all different ,
Not sure why keep harping on about playing outside ?what that got to do with home alone ..

Obesity is probably down to all these poor neglected kids left home alone not able/allowed to cook and just sitting scoffing biscuits :) JOKE JOKE JOKE .....

Just out of interest, according to a YouGov poll, what people in the UK think about this is this-

On average, Brits believe that 12 and a half is an acceptable age from which parents can leave children alone for a short period
10% said age ten was fine
While 19% felt 14 years and over was a suitable age
Just 1% apiece said age 7, and at the other end of the scale, age 18.

Vol- your second story would equally be neglect. I'm not sure of your point? In the first story, the parent would be there to soothe the child, administer first aid if needed etc. Would a hurt child prefer a parent to be there do you think? You're right, parents can't prevent all accidents. Of course not, but they can be there immediately after to deal with them.

And I didn't answer your question because I assumed it was sarcasm. I think I have made it clear what I'd do (not a lot as Queen actually as it's the Government who generally set laws!). I would set clear age limits as a minimum for children to be allowed to be alone.

Shag: they are rather extreme end of scales but both are wrong the 1st scenio needs maybe police/ss invention of a "slap wrist" where as 2nd needs removal of child! Can you not see that ?

What would you consider the age limits to be?

Shag- under the Children and Young Persons Act parents in England and Wales can be prosecuted for wilful neglect if they leave a child unsupervised "in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health". Punishment ranges from a fine to 10 years' imprisonment. Similar legislation is in force in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Housemum- I've said already I think that for short periods of time, maybe up to 2 hours or so, 12 would be reasonable. I most certainly wouldn't go below 10.

I'm clearly Joe Average!

12 home alone during day
16 over night

To those who have advocated leaving "older" children in charge of younger ones (I'm still shocked at the post up thread from the parent leaving an 8 year old in charge of a 6 year old) it's worth noting that the 14 year old's parents in the OP were charged because the 14 year old was babysitting a 3 year old. For 30 minutes.

Flowegirlmum Not being able to leave a 3 year old with a (sensible, no SEN) 14 year old for 30 mins is crazy.

I know a 8 year old girl at my DC's school here in Germany that currently takes the tram on her own to school and who will be accompanied by her 3 year old brother after the summer holidays when he starts Kindergarten.

The family is not considered neglectful by the school (in fact the mother is a teacher herself).

Extreme cases of siblings constantly looking after younger ones are classed as a form of abuse when it comes to cp.... Not that this thread is in anyway saying that's what they do but just saying if the 14yr old was "mother"to her siblings then ss have valid case to charge

Monkey: sorry but I think that is far to young! One few cases I can honestly say I'm pleased we not like our European counterparts

Crazy it may be in your opinion but that parent was charged.

"Hard cases make bad law."

The police and social services can already step in if children are perceived to be at risk. We don't need a legal minimum age and it won't protect more children (but would criminalise parents of children who weren't at substantial risk).

I think you have to think about the implications for the older child. That's a great deal of responsibility you're laying on the feet of a young child. I find looking after a 3 year old hard work- let alone a 14 year old (or an 8 year old !). What if something went wrong? That child would have to live with that. Do you as a parent have the right to impose that responsibility on another human?

Sleepy- I would argue that a young child left alone IS at risk.

Of course .

But as has been mentioned several times, equal chronological age does not equal emotional age/maturity/common sense whatever, and as soon as you bring a law in you have children above the cut off but not mature enough, but legal; children below the cut off but mature enough, but criminal.

You say "young child", but a lot of people don't see an 11 year old as a young child the same way you do.

I worry far more about the long term affects of curtailed freedom on my ds1 than I do about him being home alone for 10 minutes. They are harder to quantify, and easier to minimise (since it becomes an act of omission rather than commission - cf the vaccine debate, where parents find it mentally harder to think about themselves doing something that they feel may harm their child, rather than not doing, even though the harm may be equal or greater.). But I worry about it.

Just as an aside. There have been a few posts about how when we were young we had more freedom, allowed out to play all day with no supervision, from early ages.
This still seems to be the norm in many other countries but in Britain not so.
What has changed here that hasn't changed in these countries?
Fwiw it's not an increased danger, or even perceived danger but the thought of being judged by other parents.
If you look at a previous post I mentioned how my Mum let me play outside all day, as did every other parent. It was the norm. No one judged her. I dare say there were extreme cases of neglect but not that I was aware of. Folk just didn't seem so opinionated on the rights and wrongs of parenting as they seem to be now. Why?

My 15 yr old babysits for my younger four, I put the little four to bed and once they are asleep I go out. Has done so for over a year. To begin with it was just whilst I went for a quick run, so 30 mins. Now I will go out to pta meetings or a meal etc. He also babysits for friends kids, he has built up a good little client base and been able to save enough money to build a pc! He is Mr sensible and very used to kids having four younger siblings.

I won't leave him with them in the day, well not all of them. Will leave him the 12 and 10 yr old or the 7 yr old.

My 10 and 12 yr old can both be left home alone for a period of time. The 10 yr old cycles two miles to school on his own or home alone if I am taking the younger two to clubs. The elder two catch a bus six miles to and from school and in a year the 10 yr old may do this as wrll depending on which high school he goes to.

They have been allowed age appropriate independence, going to two mins to a local shop or five mins to the library, playing out in our cul De sac. Building up gradually. The big two can go to town to the cinema etc.

As a parent it's my job to help them on this journey to independence. There is no magical age at which it's Ok, it depends on the child. In many ways my 10yrs old is more sensible than my 12 yr old. Bur he has asc so it's even more important we teach him sensibly.

My dp works in child protection so is fairly cautious but he is happy with the decisions we have made together in this respect.

You couldn't make a blanket law and it's not necessary. The current law allows judgement to be made yet allows for intervention if necessary as it should be.