Leaving children 'home alone' - what do you think?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

A parent is arrested for leaving their child alone every day, according to new research.

The law doesn't currently specify the age at which children can be left on their own - and charges in the last three months of last year involved children between the ages of three months and 14 years.

What do you think? How old were your DC when you left them 'home alone' - and would you like to see the age at which a child can be left unsupervised defined in law?

blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/11042014-the-legal-age-you-can-leave-your-child-home-alone-by-state/

Let's just move to Kansas...

What is clear from this thread is that legislation would be a bad thing as it would criminalise most of the posters and take happy, healthy capable children out of a caring home to stick them in Social Care.
That would be waaaaayyyyy more damaging. Flower, you are entitled to your opinion but that is all it is. The fact that you 'cannot get your head around' the issue doesn't make it wrong and, thankfully, the law sees it the same way. We've survived and evolved over millennia without a sodding handbook and I bow to the notion that no one knows what's best for kids better than their parents.

I've never had to leave DD (10) home alone. But think I wouldn't have much of a problem doing so. She is left 'out' alone for hours in the summer because we are lucky enough to live in a safe area and she has lots of friends to play with. She's did that all last summer and I'm sure will do so again this summer. I used to leave her in the house to nip over and feed a friends cats when she was much younger and it was never an issue.

I'd be happy to leave her for an hour at a time at home if I was going shopping or something. That's only two episodes of Tracy Beaker and I doubt her eyes would even leave the screen! I'm taking her away on my own next week and I'm sure I'll have to leave her in the caravan to go to the shop or to walk the dog at some point.

She's well behaved and pretty sensible. I'm wouldn't be worried.

Ive thought of another factor that may play a part in perception -the age at which children change school. Mostly now it is 11. I grew up under a system (in England) where we changed at 9 and 13. I later ran events for 9-11 year olds under both systems. The kids in 'middle school' were much more mature than the same aged children still in Primary. (they just lived in different parts of the county). Middle school y5s were used to being treated like secondary / comp y7s. They were much more confident with unknown adults .

This is a timely thread ds is 11 (y6) Dd is 8 (y3). Due to a change in schedule I have a choice of them going to after school club (full of little kids- their words) or them catching a bus home and being home alone for an hour wwyd ?

Think you can guess what I'd do Still!

And to the person who said "parents know best"- there's some godawful parents around you know who absolutely do not know best.
Legislation wouldn't criminalise people- it would give clear guidelines which most law abiding individuals would stick to. It would mean that people were clear and thus couldn't end up accused of neglect for something which they considered reasonable parenting.

But legislation will always err on the side of caution - the bar would probably be set much higher than "common sense" to catch more of those who do neglect children. The law as it stands is woolly - but it does therefore have the power to allow the authorities to step in on the basis of "perceived neglect" and to consider the individual circumstances. A blanket ban below a certain age would mean that there would always be a penalty for leaving those children alone.

And don't you think there should be? Don't you think that leaving a 6 year old alone should be illegal? 5?

i'm not that bothered whether a 6 year old is left for a couple of minutes to be honest. they shouldnt be left for hours but what kind of weird legislation would cover that?

I don't see how you could possibly legislate for so many reasons:

1. Nearly everyone agrees that the age you leave them depends on how long, so you'd have to have a sliding scale - 10 minutes for a 7 year old...., very complex.

2. What is safe depends on the maturity of the child, the nature of your house, and how contactable you/ a neighbour would be none of which legislation could allow for.

3. What is neglectful depends very much on how regularly the children are left rather than one specific event and

4. Whatever age you set would criminalise some good parents unless it was very young. But if you set a very young age many people would still feel it was too young and slate others who left kids alone, even if it was legal to do to, just as they're doing at present on this thread.

I would just set an age and be done with it. Probably around 11/12. Accidents don't need hours to occur. They take minutes.

Of course I agree that 5/6 year olds shouldn't be left alone. But my point is, that some e.g. 11/12 year olds are less mature than others, so any law is likely to look at a much higher age to avoid people who do leave a child who under present legislation might be deemed to be at risk "getting away with it" as they are within the legal limits.

probably good you dont get to legislate then ever been told you have somewhat rigid thinking?

Ok flowers I will book them in to the outgrown asc. I can see that it is too much responsibility for (just)11 ds.

Housemum you say "of course you agree" re 5/6 year olds but you and me seem very much to be in the minority on here!

But we differ on the 11/12 year olds, I feel that at that age children vary so much - but I am quite happy for my 12yo DD to spend time alone at home.

I'd take the 7yo with me as she is still at an age where she can be unpredictable, whilst I would say that on average she is quite old for her years, she is only an infant-school-child so cannot be totally relied upon to carry out the theory. 12yo knows most of our neighbours, knows who we would go to in an emergency, has her own phone so can call me/relative/friend/neighbour. I wouldn't let my 12yo look after her sister for more than a trip to the supermarket length of time, as they are typical siblings and will argue.

Not sure why you think we differ. I agree with every word you just wrote

My only disagreement would be with a 12 year old looking after a 7 year old at all but otherwise I fully agree.

San. Pesky rigid laws hey. Much better to have a society where everyone gets to do what they want. Especially parents because they are all perfect and will always do the right thing.

I think they need to say the circs that the ones who were charged / convicted were.

For all we know they had left their kids for a week with no food or money ie neglect.

I would not like for there to be a law around this.

It is not right to imply (as they do in the article) that leaving any child alone under any circs for any length of time is outrageously neglectful. That's silly.

I agree about 11/12 year olds being left for an hour or two but when would any mn think it would be ok to leave them alone for a day on a regular basis eg for work

well, we dont have any rigid laws at the moment and it seems only a tiny number of parents have been prosecuted. its pretty obvious just from this thread why there isnt a rigid law and yet you seem to be very very sure you are right /unable to see beyond black and white, yet also very much in the minority with the view that leaving under 11s at home alone should be illegal.

neglect? I think this belittles neglect.