Leaving children 'home alone' - what do you think?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

A parent is arrested for leaving their child alone every day, according to new research.

The law doesn't currently specify the age at which children can be left on their own - and charges in the last three months of last year involved children between the ages of three months and 14 years.

What do you think? How old were your DC when you left them 'home alone' - and would you like to see the age at which a child can be left unsupervised defined in law?

to the idea of them running a bath

i doubt they move off the sofa to be honest

mine are 12 and 14 - left 12 year old alone yesterday - we had to go to town - hairdresser and optician for 14 year old (3 hour apart - not enough time to go home etc etc) DD was not allowed to go to the optician alone - I have to sign forms and authorise treatment etc....

so DD12 was home alone for about 6 hours. We came home at 5.30 to a home made cottage pie in the oven, broccoli and green beans prepped and ready to steam. She had also taken the dog out, got mucky and given him a bath, then put a wash on for the towels.

(but this is all nothing special in our lives - we all muck in daily anyhow, though she was, of course, thanked profusely for her thoughtfulness)

Odd I do risk assessments regularly as part of my job. They are a judgement of how risky a situation might be- they are not protection against risk.
I am glad you have so much absolute confidence in your children! As I say, mine is never in trouble at school, is more interested in books that anything else but still, I can't hand on heart guarantee that she might not get an idea in her head to make pancakes or something!

Somewhere- at 12 I think lots of children would be capable of being home alone (yours sounds a bit fab though). Again, there's a big difference between 12 and 6/7- or even 4 as some on here have advocated leaving alone!!

Quite ridiculous that a child could not be left at 14 but two years later could get married and have their own home!

As someone who provided the figures for one part of this FOI request, I'd say all stories based on FOI figures from forces are unreliable (drives me nuts, you can see how the journos are going to misinterpret the figures no matter how much you try to explain what they actually mean). Different forces record in different ways.

This particular FOI was difficult and unreliable because there is no offence of leaving kids home alone, so various searches were used of neglect offences, etc. No context to the figures given, no element of the history of the families involved. Misleading the public. Also, for very recent dates like this one was, the matters are probably still under investigation and the figures will/may change.

MN asks in the OP "what do I think?". I think journalists should not waste public money trying to come up with sensationalist stories without properly researching the context of the figures they get back - very rare that they do that, they just bang out a story from the responses they get. My heart sinks when I hear on the radio the misquoting of figures I've put out. You know that they can get up to 18 hours free research from each and every public authority in the country (context here - over 40 police forces alone - plus LAs NHS, etc etc) to produce a 30 second story that the public has paid for? Don't get me wrong, I think the spirit behind FOI is great, public money, public interest in knowing, but many FOI based stories are very poorly researched by the journalist.

thanks Flower... (was going to shorten to fgm - but thought twice!)

she didn't get that way overnight though... we left them individually or together for 10 min trip to the shop from about 8 - with strict NO COOKER, NO KNIVES, NO INTERNET, building up over the 4 years to where we are now... (the internet is still the most dangerous of those 3 in my personal risk assessment).

My youngest DDs are 12 and 7. I allow them to:
Be at home together while I go to supermarket - 45mins. Would allow 12yo to stay home on her own longer, would not leave 7yo alone. Wouldn't leave them together for more than an hour, even though DD2 wants to babysit, as I don't think she's mature enough to cope if DD3 gets into a strop. They can be together for about an hour before they argue! Rules are no cooking, no baths - whilst they would be capable, I see no need to add potential risks. They can do hot milk as they just do that in the Aeroccino thingy - no risk of scalding or overheating as it cuts out and is not boiling temperature!

If I drop the kids at school, I drop DD3 by stopping safely and letting her out onto the pavement, where she walks along the footpath into school. Can't be more than 50yards. DD3 told me the other day some adults were muttering about, "walking in by herself and she's only a year 2".

I was left to get myself home from school when I was 8 - would be about an hour or so. Main risk was having to light the pilot light on the gas cooker if it went out!

thats amazing SomewhereIBelong !!
i'd be well chuffed
i dont let my older ones cook alone but perhaps i should start

Somewhere- do you think that being left alone is the only way to get where you are then? My 8 year old cooks with me, she goes for walks with me (we don't have a dog ), she does jobs such as tidying up etc. I just don't feel a need for her to be alone at this age.

My parents left me home on my own when I was 9. I walked home from school by myself and then stayed home until one of my parents got home from work. Usually from 3:30-6:00ish. Then when I was 11, my sister and I walked home together and I watched her until my parents got home from work, the same times, she was 6.

We didn't have any problems, I was very responsible.

Flower - it's not about needing to give them time alone, sounds like you are doing a great job teaching life skills, but some people's work/life balance means there will be times that leaving a capable child is the only option, or at least the only cost-effective option

Oh also, I used to have baths. I would also use the hob, but not the oven, though we tended to use the microwave.

My chore was to clean the kitchen, so I ended up putting away all the dishes and cleaning them, etc. so I did deal with knives. I broke a glass on more than one occasion and I knew how to clean it up properly.

Flower... I don't know if it the only way, but being alone builds a certain confidence - she can't ask me how to do it, so she does it her way - which is sometimes better...

she has had problems - one spag bol where the jar wouldn't open so she tapped the lid with the rolling pin (she has seen me do it) the lid flew off and spread tomato ALL over the kitchen - which she cleaned up with nice fresh white fluffy towels, was a lesson she would not have learned NOT to do again if I'd been there...

In terms of the "outside v inside" debate.
We sometimes get irate calls from parents of 14 year olds who have broken their phone or fallen over when "out" after school. They declare that it's the school's responsibility as they never leave their child alone. I frequently have to explain we're not responsible for them down at the park at 4pm and won't pay for the phone/write the twisted ankle in our accident book. One once suggested we should hire enough staff to walk home every child in our large 11-20 school and college (his daughter was 17 and perfectly capable).

But it makes me wonder whether some people conflate walking to school with being at school ... or, sadly, think so in terms of litigation and rules they lose common sense.

I agree. I regularly deal with issues over fights on the way home between kids whose parents believe are under the protection of school.

Housemum "cost effective". That worries me. Does our children's safety come down to a price then ie not wanting to fund childcare?

I've had to explain there are such things as child minders if they feel their 6"2 15 year old footballer son can't walk across the park alone...
without throwing his blazer down to play football and soaking his Ipod.

Somewhere- so life lessons are best learned by trial and error. Is that what you're saying. I disagree. Road safety, for instance, is best taught by learning how to cross the road under adult supervision- not by having a go and finding you're own way!

Apologies for type. Multitasking!

Typo gives up

I can hand on heart guarantee that DS wouldn't try and make himself pancakes. He'd probably starve before it occurred to him to cook b

See I think my daughter just might which I would argue makes her more independent, despite never being left alone

Depends on the circumstances. If you go away for a 2 week holiday and leave a 14 year old alone, you should be arrested. Simply leaving them in the house for the day though is fine.

Yes I'm sure she is. As I said my DS has SN so slow handclap that your NT child is more independent than mine.

Given you're beginning to piss me off now, I'm bowing out. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.