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Original poster

Charlotte Wyatt to go into foster care

793 replies

ginmummy · 16/10/2006 06:48

...because, according to the news, her seperated parents can't give her the care that she needs. It so sad, I want to cry. Poor, poor Charlotte, poor, poor parents.

OP posts:
Earlybird · 16/10/2006 14:25

Greensleeves and HappyMum - see my post of 1.43

BATtymumma · 16/10/2006 14:25

precisely mummydoc - which is why i am a little synical.

Greensleeves · 16/10/2006 14:27

Poor little thing. The whole situation is just heartrending. I can't even begin to make judgements about what those involved should do.

But I do baulk at the idea that cost should be a factor in any decisions relating to a child like this.

giddy1 · 16/10/2006 14:31

Message deleted

mcnoodle · 16/10/2006 14:32

I have a perfectly healthy, 'normal' child. I am in my 30's, have a good career and am in a stable marriage.

Dh and I decided to start trying for a baby because we felt we were ready and I was very very broody. We talked a bit about finances and having a child with SN, but to be honest we were more interested in looking at our scan picture and buying babygros and teddy bears.

Having our son has thrown our world upside down, as it has for all my friends. We could never in a million years have planned for how life would change. I had severe PND, I couldn't face going back to work for ages, we were skint, remortgaged, shouted at each other and cried alot.

Kitty - I simply don't understand your view that as prospective parents we should plan for all eventualities. How can you plan for a way of life that you simply can't envisage.

And you know - in spite of it all, we want more. How irresponsible.

Btw to those of you with dc's with SN I hope Kitty's view is a minority in your RL experience.

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 14:34

Blimey secondchild I am hardly leading an army here, we are all having a debate and expressing our opinions, that's what an open forum is about. we are allowed to have differeing opi ions without getting trounced ( well in theory anyway) How shocking that you consider that people with views different to you own therefore hold 'extreme views' and that you pose the question whether they should be allowed to have children at all.
I think think a few rather unpleasant world leaders have already tried to go down that line. I am shocked by your reaction and that doesn't happen often.

renaldo · 16/10/2006 14:35

realisticaly cost is often a factor in nhs decision making as in any healthcare system. However for individuals such as charlotte in the nhs once medical care has been started as such it wont be discontinued due to cost. the nhs cost benefit model looks at overall funding decisions.

misdee · 16/10/2006 14:37

well thank goodness coswt wasnt an issue regarding my dh

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 14:37

Again Mcnoodle it is not about SN it is about taking responsibilty. The wyatts have looked to the state to shoulder the entire burden.
Again I will say that you can't cover every possible eventuality but you can cover many areas. Covering those areas makes it a little easier to deal with unexpected events.

HappyMumof2 · 16/10/2006 14:38

Message withdrawn

GoingQuietlyMad · 16/10/2006 14:38

I seriously doubt that kitty is alone in her views - in fact I would say a lot of people probably think similarly.

The rest of you seem to have experience on a personal level of situations like this, which I guess explains the severe reaction to her comments. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I feel terrible pity for Charlotte and her parents, for many reasons. I wouldn't swap places with them for an instant. So I don't begrudge them the taxpayers money that they are costing. But it doesn't surprise me that other people do begrudge it. "There is no such thing as society"

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 16/10/2006 14:39

I haven't had any experience at all of this sort of situation.

Doesn't stop me having empathy and humility though (I hope).

Call me po-faced.

moondog · 16/10/2006 14:40

Very eloquent points raised by Kitty (1:49) and Pitchounette (1:44)

Socci · 16/10/2006 14:42

Message withdrawn

BATtymumma · 16/10/2006 14:43

but there are many many families where teh child has such complex needs that they need to stay in a hopsice.

if the parents cannot afford to ay privatly this is funded by the state. are these parents irresponsible for wanting their child to live?

im sorry but i see so many flaws to your argument.

I am sure that if i was aware of all teh facts involved with this case i could sit here, with hindsight and say "i wouldn't have done that" but hindsight is such a valuable tool that isnt available until its too late.

little Charlotte is stil alive, against all the epxectations of eah Dr that ever met her. that to me says mr and mrs wyatt were right to fight for her.

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 14:44

OMG I was eloquent? ( falls over)
Hey Happymum, that means you'll have to be my deputy, we could call you "happy 2 jags"

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 14:46

What do you mean " better" Socci? better because people didn't express views that you violently disagree with? That doesn't make sense.

HappyMumof2 · 16/10/2006 14:46

Message withdrawn

Socci · 16/10/2006 14:48

Message withdrawn

SecondChild · 16/10/2006 14:49

Kitty, what I said was:
"do u think that people like Charlotte´s parents should not be allowed to have children?" It was intended as a direct question - for you.

From what you have said you seem to have sympathies with the views of certain world leaders that you claim to despise. For the record, a variety of viewpoints is always to be welcomed but to me your views are very extreme.

GoingQuietlyMad, do u really think that there is no such thing as society?

Greensleeves · 16/10/2006 14:52

I think comparing Kitty to "certain world leaders" is going a bit far - she hasn't suggested that disabled people should be exterminated or institutionalised, has she? Kitty's views sound more Thatcherite than Hitlerite to me

I do agree that more people probably feel this way than would say so on MN, whether they have experience of SN children or very ill children or any kind of children.

I think it comes down to which you feel is more important - money, or people.

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 14:52

Secondchild, obviously I have misunderstood this comment. "Should we allow people that hold EXTREME views to have children when they may perpetuate a shocking outlook on life? "
I would be pleased if you could clarify what you meant. Who are the people with extreme views?

Socci · 16/10/2006 14:52

Message withdrawn

mummydoc · 16/10/2006 14:53

socci surely the fact people can discuss it ,is what makes mumsnet great, freedom of speech, which we should all uphold is demonstrated brilliantly on mumsnet, just because we all have differing opinoins doesn't make any of us bad or make mumsnet a bad place, if you don't like the discussion there are probably safer threads to be on. i for one find lively debate stimulating / challenging and interesting, a good debate is where people do argue passionately for their "side" in attempt to change the views of people who have differing views. personnal attack should not come into it. I for one don't remmeber Kitty ever saying she didn'think Charlotte should not NOW be looked after, i think her view is that the parents need to be taking some personnal responsibility . I would feel more sympathy towards Mr wyatt if he openly admitted finding the burden of care was more than he imagined , he has issues which maybe make him not the most suitable carer and that he will continue to be a devoted parent to Charlotte and be as involved as possible.Instead of appearing to be blaming hte state for the situation.

BATtymumma · 16/10/2006 14:53

i have given my own personal reasons for finding this thread and teh atitudes expressed on it upsetting.

i have given teh story of a family member who has a very similar (if not as severe) as poor Charlotte. i have asked what my family should have done in that situation.

I didn't recive an answer.

Is it because sitting here and discussing something we have read in a paper makes it seem less real? are we able to be so brutal in our opinions because they aren't real people to us they are just a story in a paper?

have we really become so numb to human emotion that we can look at such complex stories and give a blanket, blakc and white answer....from whichever side of the fence we are on.