Mothers in arms
Every day thousands of women log on to Mumsnet, one hand cradling a baby, the other clicking away at their mouse. But how did this not-so-innocent little website become such a phenomenon ? and the scourge of the childcare guru Gina Ford? Julia Llewellyn S
Illustration by Jim Stoten
Yummy mummy. what do you need to be one? one thread begins. Within 24 hours, it has attracted 57 replies offering suggestions, ranging from anorexia, breast implants and a vehicle with a ladder attachment to manicured nails, fake tan, Boden/Jigsaw/Toast clothes, a baby in Petit Bateau outfits, a Bugaboo and a 4 x 4. On another page, a thread starts: finally seen the light and getting divorced. any tips anyone? By the end of the day 17 people have offered advice and support.
Once upon a time, becoming a mother was something you did alone, in your home, with your baby. Your sources of expertise were your mother, your neighbours, your doctor and your health visitor. But then came the internet. And then came Mumsnet, the online forum where you can swap tips on everything from tried-and-tested recipes for chocolate cheesecakes to what to do when your brother is diagnosed with anorexia, and how to react when your husband makes ?pirate noises? during sex. All this before even touching on the challenges that motherhood presents.
For many, Mumsnet is more than an advice forum. Thanks to a policy of anonymity (members adopt pseudonymns such as prufrock and frannyandzooey, which speak volumes about their educational backgrounds), the site is a dumping ground for many mothers? darkest, most toxic feelings, a place where women feel they can reclaim their ?old selves? subsumed by school runs and babywipes. Mumsnet is visited by about 250,000 women per month, and what it reveals ? depending upon which thread, or discussion, you pursue ? is by turns hilarious, thought-provoking, banal or heartbreaking.
As I write, some of the ?live threads?, which use baffling abbreviations such as DH (dear husband), MIL (mother-in-law) and WTF (what the f?), include: israel? when will the west do something?; no sex and confused; i am sooooo excited ? have to tell you about this fake tan i have tried; my husband is
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