I'm astonished that so many people are in favour of...

[emkana]

... smacking

And Hunkermunker, I don't choose another way to help him control himself, because nothing else we have tried in the moments of extreme behaviour works.

This does work, as shown by the fact that I have to do it less and less. See my postings below.

I do resent the view that we smack without thinking, because we think it's the easy option.

No, I didn't need to, QoQ - you said it for me (am PMSL writing that btw )

There are loads of punishments that are inappropriate for the situation and the child.

Smacking's the only one I'm totally confident in saying is always wrong and always shows a parent who's not in control of the situation - or one who is scarily in control but who has decided they are going to inflict pain on their child - as I said before, classy.

If that makes me "not of the real world" so be it. I have made a conscious decision to not smack the DSs - whether it's because they're "naughty" (I often find that parents call their children naughty when they're being...er...children...), or because they do something that scares me (like playing with a plug socket).

Hey, I've found a new subject upon which to wax tedious. Hurrah!

Oh so do I clumsymum.
I could explain myself til I'm blue in the face but I'm still misunderstood.

So you smack after giving great thought to the subject?

That concerns me more than those parents who don't fink abaht it and just wallop the little bleeder, to be frank.

Greeny, agree re people using animals as a comparison - er, monkeys wank in the trees, don't they?

Right Hunkermunker who are you to take the moral high ground?

Gonna have to PARP now

(And I was doing so well not letting this thread wind me up)

I'm somebody who finds smacking indefensible, sorry, MrsD.

yeah yeah I'm cr*p at txt speak and pretending I can't spell (out I can't spell but that's a whole new thread)

FWIW I don't only use smacking, and as I type this post both DS's are sat in their respective 'time out' places. So it's not that I don't know any other 'methods' - I know (and use) plenty, and use the one approriate to the situation (IMO).

your monkey analogy hunker?

remember my nose picking analogy

not acceptable (apparently)

Don't remember it fully Jools? Wasn't it that you didn't like seeing people pick their noses in public any more than you liked seeing breastfeeding?

Don't think it's the same thing to say that smacking's OK for humans because animals do it - is it?

Think I'm finally beginning to understand why people leave forums, I never really have before.
I have worked really hard to make my thought processes understood on thsi thread and with one rude, dismissive post I have found myself absolutely crushed.

Oh well so long....

It always amuses me greatly that non smackers (in general) have this philosphy

Non-smackers - well adjusted children, clever, intelligent and caring parents.

Smackers - messed up children, stupid and unfit parents.

nice try hunker - I'm not rising

My mum smacked me. The legacy of being smacked is that I was, and still am, scared of my mother. Okay, she's not going to smack me now, but I've never shaken off the resentment, humililiation and unfairness of being smacked, even though I know it was the usual form of discipline then. One thing smacking didn't do was change my behaviour, I just tried to be smarter about covering up my misdemeanours.

When my boys were small, in the 1970's, I sometimes smacked them, as did many people then. But gradually I realised it was a pointless exercise, because it didn't change anything. Smacking was no longer acceptable to me so it's not something I've used with my two younger children.

i dont think their is any thing wrong with smacking, if needed. There is a big difference between smacking and battering your child! People who dont smack their children should stop critisising those who do. Live your own life and not others!

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Socci - you say you were smacked and that children learn by example.......did you used to hit other children????

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But Socci - lots of children who aren't smacked hit too

More popular with older people apparently

Public smacking is fairly rare which says to me that people feel pressurised not to by public opinion

Personally would be quite happy for it to be illegal although I know that is an extreme viewpoint

thanks greensleves.

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Nothing personal custy - I very often agree with your posts. But not this time

Socci it is easy to look back at things and wish you had done things differently. I was smacked as a child and knew that when i was i had overstepped the mark and it didnt mean i would then go out and hit other kids.It works for me and my kids but only as a last resort.

Why did I know that I would be coming back to a very long thread?

I said I was astonished because even when I'm at my angriest with one of the dd's (usually dd2) it would never occur to me to smack her. I shout, yes. But to smack never, ever occurs to me, never. And I'm just surprised that there are so many people who it does occur to.