Thank you Snowleopard. I sooooo agree with you that how we treat our children can't just be left to individuals to decide as if children are some kind of property of their parents. Its unfortunate but true that the reason abuse continues is because of the cyclic nature - child is abused by parent who in turn abuses who in turn abuses etc. etc. In one of the worst cases of abuse I ever heard in family court, the mother said, "I wouldn't do this because it was done to me." Of course that only made it the more likely that she had done it. Please, smack-approvers, I'm not saying that smacking is necessarily abuse - just that as a society we have a duty to ensure that our most vulnerable members are treated rightly - not just as those in control of them behind closed doors think right.
BTW, I don't understand why everyone thinks children can't reason. The most frustrating thing my very attentive, though of course imperfect, father did was to refuse to give me reasons for his instructions. As I result I have always used reason with my ds - simple such as, at two, "When your shoes are on then you can go outside." Now, at 4, he loves to reason and to try and outwit his parents, which he sometimes does! oh dear, we've created a monster - go to your room!!