Ah I'm just back from my DIL's birthday celebrations that went on over the weekend. I have laughed out loud at some of the posts and marvelled at the wit of so many of you. Mind I liked it a lot less when JH appeared to want to join in the fun.......yuk, yuk and yuk again.
Spero I think JH is threatened by you. I think he realises that he is no match for you and it irks him, which is why he attempts to score points over you. In my view, only losers try to score points. He attempts to be paternalistic "she said she would be good" - "Spero makes a good point (she does sometimes)" and similar comments.
I sincerely hope your letter has the right effect as I would dearly love to see him challenged in some way.
I think that someone, somewhere should prevent this dangerous MP from making his insulting, ludicrous claims about "baby snatching" and "bonuses" for LAs who "snatch babies and get them adopted" and for calling the entire system evil including all professionals, all lawyers and his nonsensical claims that there is a conspiracy between all professionals including the Judge in care proceedings. The fact that on occasions he refutes that he has made these comments matters not, as some of us have documentary proof available.
When he is challenged and evidence is supplied, he moves the goal posts and glosses over the issue on which he is challenged and raises an issue that is not the subject of the debate.
He is utterly and completely unwilling or unable to accept no matter how many times it is explained that the targets and the additional funding that is target-related is in respect of LAChildren and yes some of them will be babies..............
What does he think happens..........that if a baby is presented in A & E with a fractured skull and the account given by the parents does not accord with the injury, and there is fresh bruising to the limbs, that the LA say :
No sorry the baby will have to go back home because we are directing all our resources to finding adoptive homes for children already in our care...........NO of course not, so social workers will need to apply to the courts for the removal of the baby while assessments are carried out and all of the investigations made.
There's been a lot of talk about Martin Narey and him being a tsar for adoption. I don't think we can blame Narey, because Cameron likes this tsar business doesn't he. Mary Portas was made tsar of shops or somesuch and Louise Casey tsar of homelessness I think.
I think it is easier for those of us who have in fact worked on the front line of child protection over considerable lengths of time, it is all too obvious that sadly many children are in fact "born to fail" (it's a sociology book, very old now, but sadly still true) I think Narey could have made his comments about a hypothetical child brought up in a dysfunctional unsafe home, moving through the criminal justice system and custody etc.., without actually naming Baby P which was somewhat emotive. Nonetheless the point he was making is valid.
I would also like to point out to those posters (I particularly remember Mary2010 ) that children only have one childhood - ok that sounds self evident, but I recall Mary saying that she thought children should be in foster care for "a few years" to see if their families could improve on their parenting (or something very similar so don't tie me to the exact phrase)
Children do not have the time to wait in foster* care or children's homes waiting to see if their* parents are able to keep them safe at some point in their* childhood
Do these people who advocate this kind of thing aware of even basic child development. There is now evidence that a foetus can be damaged in utero where there is conflict, domestic violence etc., and if a child's needs are not met in his earliest hours, days, weeks and months in the first year of life, there is the potential for later problems. A child will never learn as much again (and at the same rate) as in the first 3 years of life and these formative years lay down the foundation for later life.............when children have suffered the trauma of early abuse or neglect, the earlier that they can be placed with adoptive parents who can not only give them the permanence and stability they deserve, but can also understand the effects that the early abuse/neglect will have on a child throughout his childhood, and sometimes throughout the lifespan to a greater or lesser extent, the better the outcome for the child.
If anyone doubts this I suggest you read "Why Love Matters" by Sue Gerhardt who has evidence that the baby's pathways in the brain are affected in their early weeks and months dependent on the type of care they receive.
I am making no criticism of birthparents incidentally because as I have said before on these threads, of all the abused and neglected children I have come across in my social work career, they have parents/carers/stepparents who were abused or neglected themselves as children, and so they have no model of "good enough" parenting. Many young women want a baby so that the baby "will love them" in a way in which they never felt loved, and of course this isn't going to happen because the mother has no idea how to meet the baby's needs because no-one ever met her needs, so she becomes angry with the baby for not loving her, and abuse or neglect can follow. She's been let down again.
Sadly there are no quick fixes for these parents who are almost always from the most disadvantaged section of our society and live life "on the margins" of society, with a myriad of problems which are in many ways insurmountable. You can't teach good enough parenting like you can teach cookery or art or whatever. I firmly believe that as parents we are only able to pass on what we have learned through being parented and for those of us fortunate enough to have had parents who gave us unconditional love then that's what we pass on to our children. Incidentally I am not saying that all abused/neglected children will go on to repeat the pattern, as many will ensure that they don't repeat that pattern of parenting, but many others will repeat the pattern, and so it becomes an impossible task for these parents to prove that they can be good enough parents.
If we were talking about dogs, yes we could remove the unruly dog from the owners, and place the dog with people who understood canine behaviour and they trained the dog to be well behaved, and at the same time the owners could be taught how to have a "well mannered " dog, then dog and owners could be reunited and they could all live happily every after............but we're not.
SO how about us all ignoring JH and have a debate about child protection, the court system, what could improve the present system etc etc.
Anyone up for that...........? You're NOT invited JH