the vicar's kiss

[zippitippitoes]

....do you feel sorry for him?

lets send biglips around there

I don't have dds but my dss have to put up with smothering hugs and vile flabby perfumed smooches from various old aunts and great-aunts. I wouldn't dream of putting a stop to it. It would be so hurtful to them.

It would be different if I had a genuine misgiving about someone's motives though - a little girl and a "known" dodgy man - but I certainly don't think that's the case with this vicar. There's no evidence for that.

depends if the kiss-giver wants to kiss smelly uncle, or is just doing it cos she is afraid of getting into trouble if she doesnt

why didn't she come on mn and ask first?

NP, re 'minging old uncles', no it's not about right and wrong.. but it is about what you perceive to be acceptable. Point here is that you personally obviously have strong feelings about it and don't want to allow your children to be kissed or bounced on the knees of uncles that you think are minging, and that's your right because they're your kids and presumably your older family members whose feelings might be hurt.

Generally though people probably feel less strongly about the issue.. and perhaps feel that a child having a momentary 'yuk' factor (as kids do over lots of things anyway) is not worthy of the hoo-har that might be caused (either re family relations, or in this case, a HUGE legal and media fracas!) by making an issue out of it.

I think this attitude is very bad for society it makes kissing unacceptable except as a sexual act..we'll all be in our own isolated non tactile ghettoes before long

I think it's desperate that a man should lose his position as a school governer ffs! He'd just spent time helping her with long division.....

This whole issue is beyond ridiculous.
On the one hand you have people like this awful mother who think anybody who is in any way nice to a child is obviously a raging paedophile, and on the other hand you have a whole generation of parents who are afraid to let their children live an independent life because no adult except for them would help out their child should they find themselves in danger or difficulty. Collective responsibilty has been all but blown to bits by hysterical media. A sense of proportion, please!!

Sounds like the mother is a maniac, but what is missing from this story is the child's view. The mother may be responding to upset from the child. Unless it's reported, we won't know, will we?

This disturbed me from the NSPCC spokesman:

"Everyone should be aware of changing attitudes towards physical contact with children. Children can be left embarrassed and or upset by such contact, even if innocently intended."

And children can be left bewildered and rejected by a refusal by adults to respond positively to their need for physical contact. That doesn't seem to appear on the NSPCC radar.

I can't help but think we are heading for a very strange and neurotic society..

the nspcc seems to encourage some worryingly over anxious views

Agree zippi.

It's true that a minority of kids might be upset by the occasional kiss. But most kids aren't. They may not like it particularly, but it's not going to bloody traumatise them. And if we are going to say that because of that minority of kids who will be upset (upset, mind you, not traumatised, hurt, shocked, affected forever, just upset) no children can ever be shown spontaneous affection in a physical way, then we're depriving them of something normal and healthy and probably doing far more damage than good. I remember a teacher hugging us when O level results came through and the spontaneous affection of that was really special and added to the occasion. Nowadays of course, children are protected from that. Or deprived of it, depending on your viewpoint.

the child probably thought it was wrong because that is the lesson we are teaching

lol Fio

she must be gunning for compensation

I think 'daft cow' is remarkably kind. Her appalling actions have cost a fortune,wasted everyone's time, nearly destroyed a man's reputation and must have caused him and his family (including HIS three children) appalling stress and unhappiness. She is wicked and mad, IMO.
God, is it against the law to embarrass kids now? Are we going to bang up mothers who sing in the car?
As for the NSPCC, well, they've just lost my monthly donation. It's going to Save the Children instead. Kids need more love and kisses, not less.

IMO peopelshould ask or make sure it's ok with the recipient if they want to kiss them. It is horrible as a small child feelinng you have to be kissed. Yes it appears it this case there was no need for all the fuss but what if nothing was done and it future years uit was revealed that much more was going on there would be even more of an outcry

So there's an end to a spontaneous show of affection then
How could there be more going on when it happened in a classroom in full view of everyone. Why does there always have to be 'something else going on'?
We're becoming too ready to look for the bad in situations

OH ffs, it's not like he had his hand up her knickers and tongue down her throat! It was a simple peck on the cheek. She'll survive.

I think part of teh issue is that he kissed her in front of teh class - with out thinking of teh impact ion her would she be teased, did he kiss anyone else. nothing wrong with spontaniety but I would not be happy if some other adult kissed dd in class (or anywhere else)

If child is upset, then it would not have been inappropriate to mention to vicar involved and ask for an apology/reconsidering approach/whatever. A child's being upset doesn't justify calling out governors, LEA, police and your local MP.

Oooh, she might be teased! Call the police! Bang him up! Burn him! I give up.

but surely it's normal behaviour..

it's only odd because we have all gone mad