the vicar's kiss

[zippitippitoes]

....do you feel sorry for him?

[hulababy]

It is ridiculous. Kissing of cheeks is a very acceptable and mormal part of our culture now. We are becoming less stiff upper lips and getting more continential.

This man spontaneoudly kissed a child on the cheek in full public view of everyoen there. This was not an assault or him being a molester. Just a kindly man who was so pleased for a girl's success (which he has played a part in), is a dad himself and he just responded to that.

Madness that this poor man is being treated like this and will have to live with the consequences (even if nothing comes of it in the end, which is likley) for the rest of his life. he will probably never feel confident enough to respond emotionally again now.

The mother is being utter ridiculous; She has brought her daughter into the public eye and probably caused her a lot of embarrassment and upset in front of her peers. As well as potentially ruining a man's career and reputation over nothing.

Okay if she didn't like it complain directly to him, let him apologise and move on!

[Bibliophile]

I am horrified by how little contact teachers are allowed to have with even very little kids. It think it's dreadful.

[Bibliophile]

Kids could get teased because their parents ruffle their hair in the playground. Or sing a bit. Shall we try and bang them up too? The remote possibility that someone's action may possibly lead to a child ribbing another child should not, IMO, mean that action needs investigating by the bloody police.

[zippitippitoes]

right now

the girl who was kissed

is led to believe that because of the hooha and her mum's actions/response this was a serious matter

but nothing has come of it but embarrassment and confusion

what has she learnt about what is and is not acceptable behaviour, right and wrong

any future kissing gesture towards her from whoever is going to be fraught with uncertainty and guilt about whether it is right or not

[welshmum]

Related incident. A mother I know was called to see the reception class teacher because her little girl wanted to hold the teacher's hand, or touch her hand for reassurance and it was 'unacceptable' I wanted to cry when she told me this. For goodness sake the poor mite had just started big school.

[LeahE]

I wasn't referring to you, gothicmama -- I hadn't even read your post when I posted mine (you'll see from the timestamps that we cross-posted).

I don't belittle the effect teasing and bullying van have on a child, but teasing and bullying is the fault of the bullies and that's where the resources should go -- not to some old duffer who gave a peck on the cheek. That's if the daughter was being bullied or teased, of which there isn't even the faintest whisper of a suggestion so far as I can see.

[edam]

How daft. And I feel very sorry for kids at school who can't be comforted by a cuddle if they are upset (gather teachers are told no touching at all, ever).

[niceglasses]

It does raise some serious questions doesn't it? Perfectly innocent gesture imho. What about Putin's kiss??

[Blandmum]

totaly agree with you zippi

I spent part of today with a 12 year old who responded to anoter child annoying her by slapping him across the face (she is NT btw)

When I asked her if, as she was annoying me at the time, I was allowed to slap her across the face she looked horrified and said, 'No that would be assault'

She simply could not see why her behavior was wrong.

What the fuck are we doing to our kids??????????

[gothicmama]

it's a mad world really

[zippitippitoes]

I can't believe that anyone could see this kiss as anything other than spontaneous innocent congratulatory gesture..there is a nightmare approaching where kids have very warped ideas of social behaviour

it totally distracts from any real problems

[Ulysees]

Oh except USA as we're getting more like them every day. No offence to americans but this is my opinion.

[Ulysees]

This almost makes me want to move to France. Ok maybe spain? I dunno, anywhere but this pathetic place.

[Blandmum]

What a fucking stupid society we live in when simulaneously we pilory a guy for kissing a child on the cheek in front of people, and allow manufacturers to make sexualy provocative clothing for children???????
SHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I sometimes lose the will to live, I really do

[gothicmama]

yes I agree children need hugs and cuddles, and as always when things aren't reported peopel are pillared by the media but if action is taken an dfound to be nothing out of the ordinary everyone makes abig thing about how could it go so far and may possible stop people speaking out in future

[QueenEagle]

agree hub2dee that this is one of those where the full story would never be known to the wider public.

More than meets the eye. Personality clashes etc. Politics etc.

We'll never know. But everyone will make assumptions and jump to wrong conclusions.

[hub2dee]

(ie. the vicar was having long-running hassle because he was sensible / concerned A Good Person, and the head was, erm, 'somewhat odd') ?

We just don't know is my point.

[gothicmama]

leahe and bibliophile - I don't say that the mum should take the action she did - anyway why should not concern for the child be at the forefront of everyone's minds and /I think you belittle the effect teasing and bullying van have on a child - whether or notthe action taken was appropriate or not the action that started it all was at best stupid and unthinking even if it was meant in a good way

[hub2dee]

And for all we know (one article written by a journo until anyone with more intimate knowledge of the case comes forward) it could be the headteacher who has issues / is difficult / needs removing IYSWIM.

Not enough info to make a call IMHO (except, that with the investigations to date, the police have found nothing to prosecute).

[QueenEagle]

dh was a governor at a school a few years back. There was a guy who volunteered a lot, did reading, helped with trips, volunteered to take photos etc. Several people were uneasy about him although there was nothing definite they could use against him. Just lots of very minor inappropriate things.

Maybe this guy was a bit like that, no hard evidence but something not quite right? Maybe I'm not making sense but ykwim.

[Caligula]

hub2dee I suspect you're right. This is one surefire way of being able to get rid of someone you can't otherwise get rid of.

[Ulysees]

Issues could be related to religion? Anything in fact? Or the head could just be an arse?

[zippitippitoes]

I think the issues are unlikely to be anything reprehensible

[hub2dee]

Agree with everyone's sentiment, but isn't it possible there is more to the story ? I'm not suggesting abuse, but it was mentioned the school has some long-running issues with the vicar:

"Mr Barrett, who has been vicar of St Editha's for nine years, said that relations between himself and the school's head teacher had been "under severe strain for some time and this incident has not helped"."

(implying there was some kind of friction well in advance IYSWIM).

Perhaps there had been a collection of concerning behaviours but this was one 'actionable' way to pursue him ?