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the vicar's kiss

108 replies

zippitippitoes · 14/07/2006 10:08

....do you feel sorry for him?

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Ulysees · 14/07/2006 13:50

Can't imagine this happening in Europe ...ok I know we're supposed to be europe but we seem so archaic at times.

Poor guy

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pindy · 14/07/2006 13:50

Poor man

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zippitippitoes · 14/07/2006 13:53

exactly imagine this little girl and many like her going on a school exchange to continental europe(love that expression sounds very fifties)

and coming back with stories of being kissed

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Caligula · 14/07/2006 13:57

"peopelshould ask or make sure it's ok with the recipient if they want to kiss them" Well there goes the sex life of the human race then! Not to mention spontaneous shows of affection.

It is horrible having to tidy your room when you're a child as well, but it's a healthy lesson to learn that you have to do it. Being kissed by older relatives, friends and elders is something children have been having had done to them ever since the human race has been happening. It is absolutely alarming that we think it's remotely OK to try and stop that normal healthy interaction. OK, Uncle Tom is a bit of a wino and smells a bit, Auntie Gwen's face is really wrinkly and saggy and smells of powder puff, but actually they're reaching out to you to show you some human affection and you can bloody well be polite about it and stop behaving like a Victorian laydee in a penny dreadful. Doubtless the generation we're raising to be too precious to accept a normal, non-sexual kiss from their elders, will also be too precious to wipe our arses for us when we need them to.

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/07/2006 13:58

Poor man. How terribly sad.

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Caligula · 14/07/2006 14:00

That thing of asking permission to kiss - I remember reading an old guide to romance and it advised the gentleman that having received a favourable reply to the question "will you marry me?" he could then kiss his new fiance. The book advised that no modest, well-behaved laydee could possibly agree to being kissed, so he should therefore not ask her permission as the only correct answer was no.

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QueenEagle · 14/07/2006 14:03

I would hate it if any teacher or anyone else kissed any of my kids when giving a prize. And I might even say so afterwards that it probably isn't a good idea to carry on such a practice. But I wouldn't make a huge fuss about it, just mention that it's not fr me.

Ask yourselves this - would that man have kissed a boy on the cheek whilst giving a certificate? I think not, so why is it ok to kissa girl.

I back the mother on this one but blame the school for using him as a scapegoat. Relations were not good between him and the school anyway it seems, and this is exactly what they wanted to use to get rid of him early. That is the shocking thing here.

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zippitippitoes · 14/07/2006 14:11

well president Putin kissed a boy on the tummy after he asked his name in the street..he hasn't resigned

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hub2dee · 14/07/2006 14:11

Agree with everyone's sentiment, but isn't it possible there is more to the story ? I'm not suggesting abuse, but it was mentioned the school has some long-running issues with the vicar:

"Mr Barrett, who has been vicar of St Editha's for nine years, said that relations between himself and the school's head teacher had been "under severe strain for some time and this incident has not helped"."

(implying there was some kind of friction well in advance IYSWIM).

Perhaps there had been a collection of concerning behaviours but this was one 'actionable' way to pursue him ?

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zippitippitoes · 14/07/2006 14:12

I think the issues are unlikely to be anything reprehensible

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Ulysees · 14/07/2006 14:15

Issues could be related to religion? Anything in fact? Or the head could just be an arse?

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Caligula · 14/07/2006 14:22

hub2dee I suspect you're right. This is one surefire way of being able to get rid of someone you can't otherwise get rid of.

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QueenEagle · 14/07/2006 14:25

dh was a governor at a school a few years back. There was a guy who volunteered a lot, did reading, helped with trips, volunteered to take photos etc. Several people were uneasy about him although there was nothing definite they could use against him. Just lots of very minor inappropriate things.

Maybe this guy was a bit like that, no hard evidence but something not quite right? Maybe I'm not making sense but ykwim.

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hub2dee · 14/07/2006 14:26

And for all we know (one article written by a journo until anyone with more intimate knowledge of the case comes forward) it could be the headteacher who has issues / is difficult / needs removing IYSWIM.

Not enough info to make a call IMHO (except, that with the investigations to date, the police have found nothing to prosecute).

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gothicmama · 14/07/2006 14:26

leahe and bibliophile - I don't say that the mum should take the action she did - anyway why should not concern for the child be at the forefront of everyone's minds and /I think you belittle the effect teasing and bullying van have on a child - whether or notthe action taken was appropriate or not the action that started it all was at best stupid and unthinking even if it was meant in a good way

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hub2dee · 14/07/2006 14:28

(ie. the vicar was having long-running hassle because he was sensible / concerned A Good Person, and the head was, erm, 'somewhat odd') ?

We just don't know is my point.

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FioFio · 14/07/2006 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

QueenEagle · 14/07/2006 14:30

agree hub2dee that this is one of those where the full story would never be known to the wider public.

More than meets the eye. Personality clashes etc. Politics etc.

We'll never know. But everyone will make assumptions and jump to wrong conclusions.

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gothicmama · 14/07/2006 14:31

yes I agree children need hugs and cuddles, and as always when things aren't reported peopel are pillared by the media but if action is taken an dfound to be nothing out of the ordinary everyone makes abig thing about how could it go so far and may possible stop people speaking out in future

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Blandmum · 14/07/2006 14:31

What a fucking stupid society we live in when simulaneously we pilory a guy for kissing a child on the cheek in front of people, and allow manufacturers to make sexualy provocative clothing for children???????
SHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I sometimes lose the will to live, I really do

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Ulysees · 14/07/2006 14:34

This almost makes me want to move to France. Ok maybe spain? I dunno, anywhere but this pathetic place.

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Ulysees · 14/07/2006 14:35

Oh except USA as we're getting more like them every day. No offence to americans but this is my opinion.

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zippitippitoes · 14/07/2006 14:37

I can't believe that anyone could see this kiss as anything other than spontaneous innocent congratulatory gesture..there is a nightmare approaching where kids have very warped ideas of social behaviour

it totally distracts from any real problems

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gothicmama · 14/07/2006 14:40

it's a mad world really

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Blandmum · 14/07/2006 14:40

totaly agree with you zippi

I spent part of today with a 12 year old who responded to anoter child annoying her by slapping him across the face (she is NT btw)

When I asked her if, as she was annoying me at the time, I was allowed to slap her across the face she looked horrified and said, 'No that would be assault'

She simply could not see why her behavior was wrong.

What the fuck are we doing to our kids??????????

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