Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

News

imagine how this little girl is going to feel when sheis old enough to understand

231 replies

stitch · 20/03/2006 18:26

\link{http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4826148.stm\abortion bid mom}
can this not be classed as child abuse?

OP posts:
stitch · 21/03/2006 12:39

well said speedy

OP posts:
alexsmum · 21/03/2006 12:48

kidstrack ,i imagine the grandad had to take on second job to pay for all the things a baby needs like a cot and a pram and nappies and clothes etc etc.his 16 y/o wasn't going to be able to afford to do it herself.
I have no problem with the girl terminating her pregnancy, as i said earlier i would have done it too in the same circs, i don't REALLY have an issue with her suing the hosp( although hate the culture of blame that means that nobody is allowed to make a mistake ever) but i do have a HUGE problem with her allowing her daughters name and photo to be published.i think it will be SO damaging to her and i dread to think what the repercussions will be in 10 years time.

EvesMama · 21/03/2006 12:52

havent had ti,me to read all thread, but i think the girl WILL honestly have been shocked to discover she was still pregnant and that it was too late to have a further termination.

what i dont agree on is that, that poor child is sat there hearing and being told she was a mistake, that her mother tried to 'get rid' of her before she was born and is still unhappy that she has a beautiful girl.

i imagine a lot of people after having an abortion wish they could turn the clocks back?maybe she didnt, but its the poor child id be concerned about, being shown to be unwanted and a terrible accidentSad

WideWebWitch · 21/03/2006 12:57

speedymama, your repeated use of 'spread her legs' really is quite offensive. We've ALL had sex here, remember, we're parents. It's a very male turn of phrase

mykidsmum · 21/03/2006 13:03

My take on this situation is this, deciding to have an abortion is surely a tough decision for a woman to make. A decsion which she will have to live with through her life, some women cope with this ok, some carry round a huge amount of guilt. How horrific for this woman to, for the rest of her life, look at that child knowing that she could have had a sister or brother. To in the form of a child that she loves constantly be reminded of a decision she made, and may now regret. How heartbreaking for her, yes her child is a blessing but she is the survivng twin and the emotional turmoil for both mother and child in this situation will probably affect their lives forever. For this reason i do understand her anger towards the hospital, although I do feel that she has handled the situation badly

Blandmum · 21/03/2006 13:06

I am pro choice, since banning abortion simply means banning safe abortion. I feel that the girl had every right to get a termination. I think it is a great shame that things didn't work out right for her.

I do feel that what she has done will be amazingly damaging to her child. And anyone who thinks the child will not get told is livng in lalla land.

I would be facinated to know how much effort she put into preventing a pregnancy, since, while no conracetion is 100% most of they are really rather good at preventing unwanted babies. I have been happily shagging for 30 years and only have the two planned kids.

If she expects 250,000 for loss of earnings she will have to show she did her utmost not to get pg in the first place.....contraception isn't 100% but neither are terminations.

Kidstrack2 · 21/03/2006 13:06

alexmum i can understand why he took on another job to help his daughter out, but i hate the crap they put in the papers that he HAD to take on another job, as i said he didn't need to do anything, she was fully supported by benefits with a grant of £500 and then further benefits i.e income support, child benefit which is fine as she was entitled to have them to care for the baby

Wordsmith · 21/03/2006 13:17

How will she feel when she's old enough to understand? I have no idea. But I sure as hell hope she understands a bit better than some of the spiteful opinions on here. If she has a loving mother who explains to her the circumstances of her arrival into this world then perhaps she will judge her on her upbringing and not her actions as a 16 year old.

I guess she may feel as confused as a child who has been adopted feels when they find out - why didn't my mother want me? But it's the years following the birth that count.

Re using the child's photo - many posters on her have pointed out that it may be her legal advisers who have chosen this route, or she may have been hounded into submission. Who knows? I certainly don't and I for one am not going to judge.

But to blithely assert that 'every healthy child born is a blessing' is simply facile, when it patently is not the case with unwilling parents. And you have absolutely no knowledge of the circumstances surrounding her getting pregnant, so to confidently assert that she 'spread her legs', and then reach for the smelling salts is assuming quite a lot, don't you think?

I agree totally with Caligula and similar posters on this subject.

Kidstrack2 · 21/03/2006 13:20

hope you don't think i'm spiteful, i'm not, its just my point of view, of course none of us really know what she has gone through, we are just all rather opinionated, its what mumsnat is all about, opionions and other parents take on things, ideas etc

Kidstrack2 · 21/03/2006 13:21

mumsnet even

Wordsmith · 21/03/2006 13:21

So that makes it OK then.

dinosaur · 21/03/2006 13:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

flutterbee · 21/03/2006 13:33

Stich if you had read my post properly you would realise straight away that I understand that this thread is not about the rights or wrongs of abortion but was horrified that people were using such strong words as murder/murderer and kill/killer and for you to now repeat these words and drag the whole sorry mess back up is disgusting imo.

After I had explained my disgust at the use of these words I then went on to say. "Anyway, I think that this girl has been ridiculously stupid allowing her picture to be released to the press, I don't think she has thought about the implications it may have on her and her daughter. I would also like to point out here that she has probably done it on the advise of a legal rep who has thought it would be a good thing, they too should be ashamed of themselves.
I personally don't agree with what she is suing for but then I don't agree with most things people sue for, it is becoming too much of a get rich quick scheme. I do however agree that she has as much right to sue as the next person."

Please if you are going to post make sure your facts are correct, and think about what you say before you say it.

tigermoth · 21/03/2006 13:34

Such a pity she had to be so public about her daughter's identity. I wonder how in control she feels now? I wouldn't want to assume she is compalcent about the fuss and publicity. Between the lawyers and the media, I bet her voice is lost.

If she feels the NHS were truly negligent, and she thinks she has a chance of winning damages - money that she will use to give her daughter a good home - then I can see why she might have embarked on this course of action. She may well love her daugher to bits and want to give her a better start in life and this money represents all that to her.

I bet she didn't think it through and I bet she's been given some duff advice along the way by people who should known better.

Kidstrack2 · 21/03/2006 13:36

Yes wordsmith, i'm not spiteful just giving an opinion, which may or may not be ageed with

Callisto · 21/03/2006 13:42

Being opinionated is one thing. Being unnecessarily nasty about a young girl in a difficult situation is another entirely. I can't believe the lack of compassion and understanding shown in this thread.

Kidstrack2 · 21/03/2006 13:50

but no one has really been outright nasty? or have i missed some wording somwhere?

Caligula · 21/03/2006 14:10

Oh I think there's been a lot of outright nastiness. Expressions like "she spread her legs" as if that's something peculiarly outrageous - that's quite a standard position in which to practice sexual intercourse (well it was last time I did it) though not of course the only one, and I'm sure some of us are far too refined to go in for that. Perhaps someone could start up a thread on "dignified positions in which to have sexual intercourse without spreading your legs". That might be a popular thread.

And the whole of the criticism about her being in it for the money - well, how do all these people know what she's in it for? She may be in it for the money, but it's a big assumption and as presumably no-one knows her, how come everyone's so emphatic that thet's her only motive?

I see an awful lot of scapegoating of her youth and low socio-economic class going on, and I personally think that's pretty nasty.

expatinscotland · 21/03/2006 14:24

I agree, sparkly. She also said she thought it was another pregnancy after she'd had the abortion and the Depo injection (that can and does happen!).

So yeah, she had abortion at 6 weeks, went to GP 33 weeks later, and was 7 weeks from term.

Methinks she fell pregnant again AFTER the abortion.

Also, I don't see why she couldn't have become a nurse when she had her mum and dad looking after her kid most of the time.

stitch · 21/03/2006 14:37

mumsnet is all about opinions. we're all a very opinionated lot Grin
tbh the only real nastiness that i have seen is the nastiness shown by those complaining about it.
i think the reason this woman is being shown no compassion is because of what can perhaps be termed her betrayal of her dd right to privacy?

flutterbee, if you dont like my opinion, well, tough. i wont change it or moderate it just because you disagree with it.

thats mumsnet folks!

OP posts:
speedymama · 21/03/2006 14:45

I'm originally from a low socio-economic class and so are most of my friends. I was a school with girls who got pregnant at 16 and I have a cousin who was pregnant at 14. I'm not a snob or someone who thinks that only the low socio-economic class produce single mothers (what an assumption!). I'm just someone who gets fed up to the back teeth of the "poor me" syndrome that is too prevalent in this country and where those possessed of this afflication seem incapable of taking responsibility for their actions and who always think that somebody else should pay for their behaviour. If others find that offensive, crass, incompassionate, spiteful or whatever, then tough. I will save my compassion for those who truly deserve it.Angry

As for finding the phrase "spreading your legs" offensive, well I find the liberal use of the f word on mumsnet offensive but I don't bleat on about it.

Caligula · 21/03/2006 14:47

But do you know that she suffers from "poor me" syndrome?

And have you any evidence that she actually spread her legs, as opposed to all the other creative positions set out on that other informative thread?

FioFio · 21/03/2006 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

Angeliz · 21/03/2006 14:58

I do think though that people suffer due to horrific mistakes from Doctors.
In my mind, she hasn't 'suffered' apart from the shock. The result was a baby.
What if, God forbid, she or her family needed an operation and was put on a massive waiting list? Would she then be complaining about lack of resources/funding in the N.H.S?

I really think there comes a point in everyones life where you have to stand up and take the consequences for your own actions. Yes, it sounds like the Doctor made a big mistake that has had an impact on her life, she had sex though! Without that single act, none of this would have happened.

FioFio · 21/03/2006 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

Swipe left for the next trending thread