This Danny Boyle 3 hour Opening Olympics England love-fest thing...(warning may contain spoilers)

[Hassled]

I'm agog. I'm so agog I bought the Radio Times to read all about it.
There will be sheep, clouds (yes, clouds), maypoles and all manner of shit. Moshpits, apparently. Glastonbury Tor. Ploughs.

And 3 hours? What happens - we watch the clouds, then we watch the sheep? What are the billions of people involved going to be doing?

I cannot wait. Anyone have any further info?

Ah, didn't realise it had to be an Olympian !

DH works for the ODA. The tickets were a special treat for staff and Games volunteers and London Transport workers. He didn't get free tickets to any events or any other preferential treatment, so this was their way of saying thanks for the hard work. I thought it was quite nice - it gave the performers experience of performing in front of a crowd, but they didn't have to give away anything they would otherwise have been able to make money from.

The clouds are on strings. 'Tis very simply done but very effective.

Cremaloa . The three volunteers were standing in for the Queen, the DofE and the head of the IOC.

Please tell me Sir Paul isn't involved....with his silly bloody thumbs up and dyed hair. Have some dignity man

He will turn into the fasted milkman in the west and run amock through the sheep - it is all planned here

I'm afraid to say that Macca is probably involved. DH is working in the Park and walked past the stadium the other day to hear the strains of Hey Jude

Why can't Macca just retire with whatever semblence of dignity he has left? I'm a complete Beatles nerd and all but he needs to just stop now. Ringo had his crazy Thomas the Tank Engine years and then he gracefully left the stage - Macca should learn from his example.

It would be nice if the torch bearer were one of the oldies from the 1948 London Olympics - they've had a few interviews on R4 this week and it's been fascinating.

Exclusive insider Opening Ceremony tip-off:

Boris Johnson will be doing a turn; gyrating naked, in a see-through full-length plastic mac, whilst waving a sixty-metre flag containing the emblems of every competing nation, coloured in by London schoolchildren using dyed organic sheep dung.

Thatch will descend into the arena via zip-wire, with smoke canisters attached to her boot heels a la Red Arrows. This is in homage to the jet-pack from the 1984 L.A. games - but substantially cheaper. (There will be a fire tender on standby to hose her off in case of overheating)

At the sound of a klaxon (not pus porn), spectators sitting in rows C - Q (seat nos 12 - 347) will be asked to reach beneath their seats and hold up the square of card found there. This will form a giant tableau of the scene from Corrie where Alan Bradley was hit and killed by a tram in Blackpool.

The Military Wives will be singing an oratorio, written specially by Andrew Lloyd-Grossman, celebrating landmark events such as the cat-in-wheelie-bin incident and subsequent arrest of Mary Bale; the rebuilding and relaunching of TPT's septum and the opening of the Hackney branch of Tesco Express in 2009.

Speectators waiting for the ceremony to begin will be entertained by a montage of sad-face photographs from local press and the Daily Mail, projected on a giant backdrop through which Robbie Williams will burst - wearing just those tiger pants he still has in the back of his knicker drawer.

Choc ices, Slush Puppy and boxes of peanut and raisin Poppets will be on sale from ushers bearing illuminated trays. Cash only.

Macca thinks that he is wonderful and the crowds love him so will not retire. Why though he thinks this when only 4 people turned up to a gig he did in germany is beyond me.

Blimey. I absolutely cannot wait :o.

I am perturbed by the absence of David Mellor, though. Surely they could have squeezed in some sort of representation of the great man wearing nothing but a Chelsea shirt?

at the boxes of peanut and raisin poppets.

Surely Jordan must feature too.

And how about a Why Don't You? Section. 'Why don't you turn off your TV and go and do something more interesting than watching the Tongan team flag instead...?'

Oh yes Jordan. How did we forget Jordan? And we need Pippa's arse too.

Talc

There is a rumour circulating with the whovians that one of the video clips will be all 11 doctors regenerating into each other... :). I am watching it for this alone. :)

I was hoping for something smutty since it doesn't start until after the watershed.

Apparently there was a planned cameo for Pete 'n' Jords to warble an acapella rendition of A Whole New World atop a magical flying carpet - but it had to be shelved at the last minute, due the rug from Modern Rugs (style HA10-02) failing fire retardancy tests and being deemed a hazard to the public.

Nothing to do with the singing. Not at all.

Talc - you're closer than you think

I don't THINK Paul McCartney is going to feature - unless that's one of the bits we didn't see. We had some live music on Monday, but one of them was a folk musician I hadn't heard of (v. good though!) and the other was someone famous doing something he doesn't normally do......... Also an orchestra and - natch! - a children's choir, but with a nice twist.

There IS some Beatles music in it - possibly where Nevermes DH heard 'Hey Jude' - but it's recorded, not live. One of my favourite bits was a tribute to them in which none of the Beatles or their music even feature.

Treats - oh please god let it be Thatcher on the zip-wire!

Can someone explain to me why Mohamed Ali is being involved in it since when was he British?

You'll all be thrilled to hear then that Macca is closing the show - according to Macca (on the radio earlier this week)

He was saying that he was doing what Danny Boyle told him to do, in a manner that suggested that doing what he's directed to do is something of an alien concept to him

The opening ceremony is the only part of the Olympics I'll watch - I love that part.

What time does it start? I am six hours behind the UK.

I meant, what time does the whizz bang ceremony Danny Boyle bit start not the boring athletes.

remember the Sydney one? that was ace

Nap, it starts at 9pm I think

Yes 9 pm uk time which is ridiculous as no child will be awake to see it.

Is it athletes then ceremony or the other way round?