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Mumsnet, will you tell the woman that Ched Evans raped, that We Believe Her? And call upon the FA to kick sexism out of football?

1004 replies

BasilFoulEggs · 29/04/2012 23:13

Dear Mumsnet
As you are no doubt aware, there has been the most extraordinary hate campaign waged this week by some football fans, against a rape victim in the wake of the Ched Evans Guilty Verdict.

The jist of the hatespeak, has been that a drunk woman has no right to expect the basic human right of not having her body penetrated without her active participation in that sexual act, or even her passive consent. Presumably because men (or at least footballers and their friends) have the right to penetrate women who are incapable of consent. And that if a man rapes you, it is because you are a slut, a slag and all the other hate-speak words used to de-humanise women and make it easier for people not to empathise with us when we are abused.

This week has seen the really ugly spectacle, of a bunch of men asserting their right to rape women, handmaidens supporting that right and both of them sending out a clear warning to all other rape victims, to know what to expect if they dare to pursue justice if they are raped.

If there had been a similar outpouring of hatred against any other historically oppressed group, the rest of the media would have been tearing their hair out analysing why some men hated this group so much, where the hatred came from, why it existed, what could be done about it; but ironically apart from the Daily Fail, there has been very little comment in response to the Twitter hate-campaign. If Twitter had buzzed with indignation at the jailing of the man who posted hate-speak about Fabrice Muamba, I?ve no doubt that the FA would have tracked down the posters and banned them from football matches. Because they?re busy kicking racism out of football. Sexism, though, is fine. They can give a bloody award to a convicted rapist, while their supporters conduct what must be a terrifying hate campaign against his teenage victim? right now, football fans don?t look all that much better than the Taliban, do they?

Mumsnet, will you use the voice you have against this horrible hate campaign? Will you tell the woman that Ched Evans raped, that We Believe Her? Will you ask the FA to state publicly, that they too, believe her and that in future, they will work as hard to kick sexism out of football, as they do to kick racism out?

Thank You.

OP posts:
issyocean · 01/05/2012 07:40

I believe her

MadamTwoSwords · 01/05/2012 07:55

I believe her

BasilFoulEggs · 01/05/2012 08:02

Loopy what happened to you was terrible and you're quite right, it happened because the man who did that, knew he'd get away with it. Most rapists do and even when they don't, all the other rapists and their supporters are so outraged that they haven't got away with it, that they mount hate campaigns against their victims.

And whoever said that this campaign isn't just against Ched Evans' rape victim, it's against all victims everywhere - that is so spot on, thank you for pointing that out.

OP posts:
Memoo · 01/05/2012 08:14

thought you might like this

What a contrast between the quotes from MN and the quotes from Ched Evans friends. Kind of says it all really.

swallowedAfly · 01/05/2012 08:38

thanks memoo. nice to see Smile

NorfolkNChance · 01/05/2012 08:51

This idea of women being in a constant state of consent really concerns me. Unless we explicitly say no we are up for anything. It should be the other way round, no goes until we say "YES".

That is the message I try to teach my students anyway.

NorfolkNChance · 01/05/2012 08:51

*no = nothing

MrsMcNulty · 01/05/2012 09:02

I believe her

RalphGnu · 01/05/2012 09:03

I believe her.

RosieAndGin · 01/05/2012 09:06

I believe her.

BIWIWhoMustBeObeyed · 01/05/2012 09:10

It's odd, isn't it, that a man is quite happy to penetrate and ejaculate into an unconscious woman? Surely the joy of sex is the shared intimacy of it. Otherwise you may as well wank into a warmed-up plastic doll.

Shows what a warped view of sex some men have.

NarkedPuffin · 01/05/2012 09:10

I want to see every vile creature that posted abuse and named her prosecuted to the full extent of the law and pursued for civil damages. There are times when you need to send a clear message.

ColdWinterNights · 01/05/2012 09:12

I believe her

Iceflower · 01/05/2012 09:15

I believe her.

Peachy · 01/05/2012 09:21

Lazymonkey

Aw thank you!

SimplyTes · 01/05/2012 09:21

I believe her.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/05/2012 09:23

" Rape laws need changing, if someone can't remember if they consented or not because they were too drunk then where's the case let alone why convict, also a jury clears one person because she was capable of consenting yet 5 mins later the jury reckons she was not capable, there are a lot of young lads being sent to prison and they are innocent because of this stupid law and the police and the cps just push these cases through because they are easy convictions for them, it's much harder to prove your innocent of a crime than some may think, If a sober woman reported this type of crime she would fight tooth and nail to be believed by the police and then the case would not go to court , but a drunk woman who can't remember is like gold dust to the police and the cps because it keeps the number of convictions with government guidelines, All the best to Ched and his family I know what your going through."

posted by a woman. WTAF is wrong with some people?

Casserole · 01/05/2012 09:24

Linking the petition again, for any who missed it upthread:
www.change.org/petitions/professional-footballers-association-drop-ched-evans-from-the-league-one-team-of-the-year-honours-list?utm_campaign=nrSOvKzIzl&utm_medium=email&utm_source=action_alert#

You can also share the petition on Facebook from this link.
Am also tweeting #ibelieveher

NarkedPuffin · 01/05/2012 09:25

Posted by an oxygen thief.

NarkedPuffin · 01/05/2012 09:26

Link

SuePurblyingoodVOICE · 01/05/2012 09:26

"I know what your going through"? Jesus wept.

Casserole · 01/05/2012 09:30

Sorry, forgot to do proper link.

Petition here

OracleInaCoracle · 01/05/2012 09:30

I'm horrified by the amount of women on the "support" page. it shows how desperately we need education in schools, to teach respect for our bodies, for each other.

It just drives home how many women HAVE been sexually assaulted but put it down to bad decisions/drinking too much/behaving a certain way/wearing the wrong things. it takes the onus off the rapist to not rape and onto the victim to "stop"them.

Frontpaw · 01/05/2012 09:30

I hope to god that every parent with a daughter (or son for that matter) sits them down and explains all this.

Some people in this world are complete sh*its. The 'charming' guy/woman you meet that flatters you and seems lovely could turn out to be just like this 'man'. This woman did nothing wrong. Nothing. This 'man' had the control. A man would have popped her into a taxi or taken her home and seen her to the door. To make sure she was ok and safe. There but by the grace of god, and all that.

Do such people have no mothers, sisters, aunts, girlfriends? Would they shrug and say 'good on him, fair game' if their sister was in the same position? I think not, they would beat their chest in gorilla fashion, get some mates together and give him a hiding.

They often get away with it too. But maybe this will change things?

D0oinMeCleanin · 01/05/2012 09:39

I wonder what the response would have been if a male had been penetrated without explicitly saying no and fighting off his attacker because he was too comatose/drunk to do so? Would people still see implied consent? I doubt it.

No = no. Being to drunk to say yes or no = no. It's not fucking rocket science for gods sake.

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