Stand up for your elders as a mark of respect

[Galvanise]

David Cameron has said that children should (stand) and it reminded me of a custom in middle east where children will stand when their father walks into the room as a mark of affection and respect. As the children reach adulthood they will start standing for both mum and dad. (I think it happens in the chinese and japanese culture too, but am not sure)

Is this such a bad thing to adopt here too?

its simple manners. standing up is a sign of respect. Just because im an adult now, doesnt mean I cant show respect to my elders. Its also not a pedantic thing. I would not bother to stand up for my friend who is two years older than me, but i would certainly stand up when her 76 year old father entered the room.
and yes, those who dont, I would judge them as being rude in the same way I would someone who was effing and blaaing.

I for one get off my arse when someone walks into a my house and someone else opens the door to them. Common courtesy, whether they are old or not. My PIL don't even get off the sofa when we arrive after a 6 hour drive nor do they put the kettle on but that's a whole other thread.

I can't comment on kids standing up for teachers because I've never attended a school in the UK.

However, encouraging people to give the elderly or infirm (or pregnant) a seat on public transport would be a nice move! More courtesy in general would be nice in those places (I know this wasn't Dave's original point).

I also stand up for visitors when they arrive, I'd consider it rude not to. However if I were the visitor and my host had difficulty standing then of course I wouldn't expect it of them.

With Betelgeuse's reasoning, I would be nervous of the literally minded child who then refuses to stand for the less worthy adult: the relative who cadges off other people, the sarcastic teacher who is cruel and mean to shy children, the friends' parents who is bumming around because he can't be arsed to work (all hypothetical examples).

Unless I can guarantee that every adult they are going to come into contact with is a paragon of virtue, I think it is safer to stick to " You will behave like this because it is good manners and good manners are a good thing in themselves. I don't care what the other person is like, this is what I expect of you."

Unfortunately, dd has been in a situation where she couldn't help seeing- and we had to acknowledge to her- that some of the adults in charge of her were simply inexcusably wrong and behaving badly. She still needed to display good manners, otherwise she would be the one getting into trouble. And she needed to acquire good manners for her own sake. And because good manners are worth having. I hope she has learnt useful lessons about keeping the moral high ground.

Sorry, betelgeuse, I see I have taken your name in vain. With nothappybunny's reasoning, is what I should have said.

Standing up for a guest who is visiting you is an entirely different situation to standing up for an adult who is busy trying to do something else and really doesn't want to distract you from what you are doing.

I think if you receive a visitor in the work environment (and by 'visitor' I mean someone who does not routinely work with you, who is only there as a one-off) then it would still be polite to stand up when they come in. It seems to be the model for countless businesses worldwide anyway.

If the person entering your office/workspace is just going about their routine duties (as are you) then yes, it would be unnecessarily disruptive IMO.

I agree with suchprospects on that too actually. Actually being listened to shows more respect than standing for sure!!

I also agree that respect needs to be earned. However, I think that courtesy can essentially be defined as 'showing respect to people who have not necessarily earned it yet'!

If I'm polite to people then it's like they have received a bit of respect 'on credit', as it were. Generally if they are worthy of my respect then they'll reciprocate my politeness and we have laid the basis for a lovely respectful relationship (I sound like such a hippy). If they're not polite back then I scale my attitude back to 'civil' as they clearly don't deserve more.

I'd say that if people show they're willing to respect me as an unknown entity then I usually try to do the same back. It just makes the world a slightly nicer place to be IMO....

I did it at school and insist my children say 'good morning' 'hello' etc when we meet someone. But having said I think they copy the parents and it's not going to make one iota of difference unless it's done on a regular basis by the people who influence them.

My children say thank you to the bus driver. But I agree very privileged children can be gitwizards (they learn that from their parents), Gitwizards beget gitwizards etc.

Take note Mr Cameron.

I thought everyone said thanks to the bus driver.

I don't think respect needs to be earned. However, people do have to prove themselves worthy of respect.

So a new teacher doesn't need to earn my children's respect. I would expect the children to respect her simply because she is a teacher. However, she could lose that respect if she then didn't behave in a way which merited it.

I try to treat everyone I meet with respect - until such time as they prove themselves to be a twunt.

piprabbit - that last sentence pretty much sums up my attitude! Although I think you may be being unduly pessimistic by using the phrase 'until such time' rather than 'unless'