survey after survey shows that the greatest influence on a child's outcome is their parents.
statistically (not anecdotally), even in a 'bad' school, pupils with mc parents will do well. in a 'good' school, pupils with wc parents will do less well.
we all worry so much about the school, their teacher, the class etc BUT it is fairly unusual (though does happen) that a child is turned off learning for life because of a bad teacher, or the that the reverse happens.
as parents, we have the greatest influence - if we're hard working, career oriented etc then our children are likely to be.
even where children reject the values of their parents, they often retain the same ethos, e.g. children of career parents who choose an 'alternative' lifestyle, are as focused and perfectionist about that lifestyle as their parents were about their careers.
small classes & better resources can turn the mediocre into better achievers, hance private school can get high 'a' level results, BUT once that person is left to themselves, that influence diminishes considerably. those people who had to work hard to even have a teacher etc (as happens more in state than private schools) will continue to work hard & do well beyond school.
xenia i used to work in a very mixed state school & ran the debate club. i agree about the confidence of the private school pupils (we were the only state school who attended), and their accents were amazing, BUT they didn't all have the innate ability to work by themselves. Don't be fooled by appearances, the substance is more important & eventually will show through.