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Original poster

Mean woman next door! Would you have helped?

57 replies

RinkyDinkyPinky · 14/08/2009 14:14

I thought I was on good terms with my neighbours but am shocked by the meanness of my neighbour this afternoon.

I popped round and asked her politely if she could help me out. My washing machine had broken down leaving me with a load of sodden, soapy, half-washed clothes. I asked if it would be possible to rinse/ spin them in her machine.

She looked at me as if I was strange and ummed and ahhed and I felt so bad that I apologised and said not to worry I'd wash them in the bath.

Just wondering...

Would you have helped a neighbour in this situation?

I'm positive I would. I'm absolutely gobsmacked at her resposne TBH.

OP posts:
kathyis6incheshigh · 14/08/2009 14:15

Bloody hell, of course I would!

truthisinthewine · 14/08/2009 14:15

Yes I would have, wouldn't have crossed my mind to say no. As long as said neighbour wasn't constantly wanting to cadge of my electric for stuff then wouldn't be a problem at all.

cocolepew · 14/08/2009 14:16

Yes I would have helped!

In fact my neighbour had to do this for me a few months ago.

morningpaper · 14/08/2009 14:17

I would have helped but I know my neighbours quite well

However, if it was me, I would have gone to the launderette instead of asking a neighbour, which would feel like a bit of an intrusion!

Tidey · 14/08/2009 14:18

Of course! I can't think why anyone wouldn't, unless you looked barking mad and she thought you were about to lock her in a cupboard and steal all her silver.

YorkshireRose · 14/08/2009 14:19

Of course I would!

So would any decent person.

What a cow she is.

I am lucky to have great neighbours. When we had a house fire a couple of years ago my neighbour washed and dried all my laundry for a month as we had no electricity or water. She also cooked us loads of meals and had my DCs round for tea all the time.

Do you live in London Rinky? When we lived in SW London our neighbours wouldn't even say good morning.

mosschops30 · 14/08/2009 14:20

Im not sure, i probably would have for two of my neighbours because I know them quite well.
Am not on speaking terms with 4 others so deffo no.
Complete random neighbour, probably not either.

I cant be doing with other peoples germs and stuff in my house, it would make me feel a bit urgh.
If it was me I would have asked someone I knew, relative, friend or taken it to launderette

Fimbo · 14/08/2009 14:23

For my immediate neighbour and one across the way then yes definately.

People I don't know that well, I am not so sure.

Plus you would never get near my machine anyway as it is always on.

Uriel · 14/08/2009 14:24

I would have.

Perhaps her house was an absolute pit cos she's depressed/whatever and she couldn't bring herself to let you see it.

crokky · 14/08/2009 14:29

Perhaps don't interpret it as meanness. I would be quite unhappy if my neighbour asked this of me because I get paranoid/anxious about what goes in my washing machine. I have 2 little DC and my DD puts everything in her mouth and I am terrified of something getting on her clothes which she eats. I realise I sound totally mad, but basically I am trying to say that I doubt your neighbour is mean. A washing machine repair man once told me that loads of women (including his wife) get stressed about what goes in their washing machine and when. Germs etc, although I'm not worried about germs, I'm just worried about stuff like a paperclip or something getting on my DD's clothes somehow and her eating it. If you wanted a bag of sugar off me or whatever, I'd give it to you gladly. But I would be stressed about the washing machine. HTH!

ithinkmydaughterispeppapig · 14/08/2009 14:30

I would of definately helped, especially if I was "on good" terms" with them. In our street we all help each other out. I remember once when we had a stupid electric key meter and I forgot to charge it up , the electric ran out as I was getting DC ready for school and DS2 shirt needed ironing, I asked a neighbour to borrow her electric to iron it, in the end she ironed it for me and it was done much better than I do!!

Maybe she wasn't having a good??

ithinkmydaughterispeppapig · 14/08/2009 14:31

Day??

elmofan · 14/08/2009 14:32

i would have , & made a nice cuppa while she waited

Original poster
RinkyDinkyPinky · 14/08/2009 14:34

Thank you everyone for the responses.

Yorkshire Rose: We live in Cambridge in a boring nice "middle-class" area with nice big "middle-class" homes. I have been to her house for tea a couple of times and she's been to us for a BBQ once. I have 2 small and well-mannered children and she has 3 friendly grown up kids.

I will give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it's something unrelated to me that caused her to be so un-neighbourly on this occassion.

OP posts:
YorkshireRose · 14/08/2009 14:34

mosschops & crokky - well at least you know you are mad!

I think the fact that the washing was sopping wet would have made it difficult to get it to launderette or else OP would have done this. Seems a shame if you can't help out in a real emergency.

So what if you don't know the neighbour that well? Has anyone considered that this would be an ideal opportunity to get to know them?

No wonder people are dying alone in their homes and not being found for a month.

Original poster
RinkyDinkyPinky · 14/08/2009 14:36

Crokky- that does help, thanks.

OP posts:
MiniMarmite · 14/08/2009 14:37

Absolutely...and more than one of my neighbours have helped me in the same situation.

sherby · 14/08/2009 14:38

maybe she had a fella in

or is on elec key and only has a little bit left?

or she was cooking up some crystal meth in the kitchen and didn't want you in!

Original poster
RinkyDinkyPinky · 14/08/2009 14:40

Absolutely Yorkshire Rose- as I explained; the washing was wet and soapy and I have my little DDs so couldn't get to a laundrette until the weekend anyway.

It's not as if I asked her to do a couple of loads from scratch.

OP posts:
YorkshireRose · 14/08/2009 14:42

Rinky - so you know each other socially and she knows you are not an axe murderer and STILL wouldn't help.

I repeat, what a cow!

We live in Kingston upon Thames in a similar kind of area to yours, by the sound of it. Yet our neighbours couldn't be more friendly. It's a shame when people can't give a helping hand to their fellow human beings, makes the world a sadder place.

I hope this won't put you off helping your neighbours in future.

Though leave this particular charmer off your party invite list in future!

Original poster
RinkyDinkyPinky · 14/08/2009 14:42

Sherby- I'd never have guessed!

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 14/08/2009 14:44

I would have wanted to help you - but would have been paralysed with anxiety about the fact that you would then see my kitchen which is tidy but in need of a clean and my piles of clean laundry waiting to be folded n my living room. Which would have made me hesitate in exactly the way she did.
The only people I can welcome in with open arms regardless of the state of the house are my parents, my youngest brother and a small handful of very close friends who I know wouldn't either notice or judge if they did.

Crablass · 14/08/2009 14:46

I reckon there was a reason behind her refusal. Maybe it wasn't a good time and she had a fella dressed in bondage gear strapped to the banisters...

Crablass · 14/08/2009 14:47

I'd have let you use mine though, regardless of who I had strapped to the bannisters! You'd have had to pick your way through my laundry mountain through the forest of Ick to get to the washing machine though.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 14/08/2009 14:53

Of course i would have helped you! leaving someone standing on the doorstep with a pile of soggy half washed clothes just sounds ridiculous to me!

even if (100% likely) my house was a tip ( i have a toddler who likes to empty the entire contents of every toy box every day) i would just say oh please don't mind the mess, i've been out and not tidied up yet, come in.

I would assume someone seeking help would not be so uncharitable as to spread news of my tippy house round the neighbourhood. And if they did, i wouldn't care, i have more to my life than the state of my skirting boards.

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