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Original poster

Separate bedrooms for long term couple

97 replies

Samewrinklesnewname · 23/04/2026 06:35

Has anyone else accepted that separate bedrooms are the way forward?
I’m in my mid 60s, dh of 30 years early 60s and is the worlds worst snorer-especially after alcohol! He used to sleep in the spare room when he’d been out for beer, but over the last couple of years, partially due to me being a lifelong chronically bad sleeper, made worse by menopause, this has become permanent, and I love it!

From speaking with friends it seems like a lot of people have separate bedrooms but it’s like a taboo subject to speak about! We’re away to redecorate and my bedroom will be unashamedly feminine and his won’t be 😂…anyone else embrace the better sleep and quality of life that separate bedrooms brings?

OP posts:
FlatErica · 23/04/2026 06:37

It works for us!

Pepperama · 23/04/2026 06:37

We’ve had separate bedrooms for a long time - much better for sleep

PygmyOwl · 23/04/2026 06:39

My parents sleep in separate bedrooms due to my dad's snoring, they've been happily married for 57 years!

crazeekat · 23/04/2026 07:03

Honestly I’m 50, we have had separate bedrooms for over ten years. We would have been divorced and I’m not joking.
he has restless legs syndrome, snores like a mofo, I have back problems, back surgery and facet joint syndrome and take sleeping tablets for insomnia.
so the reasons are quite obvious but it doesn’t effect us at all, we still chill in bed, watch movies, chat etc, we just don’t sleep together. Have to admit I have a telly in my room so we tend to now watch tv I’m out own spaces as we like different stuff.
but it’s never had a negative effect. We rarely have sex but that’s not due to not sharing a bed.
honestly I has saved my marriage. And when I speak about this to other people u will be surprised how many other couples do the same. Some won’t admit to it but it’s becoming more and more common.

CommonYew · 23/04/2026 07:20

Me and my partner have always had separate bedrooms but no other couples we know do.

AgnesMcDoo · 23/04/2026 07:21

We have had separate rooms for last 10 years and it’s great

CoastalCalm · 23/04/2026 07:22

We are quite open about having separate bedrooms - works for us as he snores , likes to watch tv in bed and is up at 5am whereas I like a quiet bedroom , I’m up and down all night with stoma bag and when I worked started at 8.30 at home. I have room with en-suite he uses the family bathroom - we love each other very much but even a single night in a hotel tests our patience with each other

CoastalCalm · 23/04/2026 07:22

.

CoastalCalm · 23/04/2026 07:22

Apols App glitched and posted 3 x

DeafLeppard · 23/04/2026 07:22

We’ve had separate bedrooms for years (pretty much since the kids were born) and frankly it’s the only reason we are still married due to his horrific snoring. If he wanted joint bedrooms again he could lose weight and do something about his snoring….

Most of my friends are quite envious of the separate rooms!

CoastalCalm · 23/04/2026 07:25

DeafLeppard · 23/04/2026 07:22

We’ve had separate bedrooms for years (pretty much since the kids were born) and frankly it’s the only reason we are still married due to his horrific snoring. If he wanted joint bedrooms again he could lose weight and do something about his snoring….

Most of my friends are quite envious of the separate rooms!

My DH has surgery to try and sort his - tonsils out and some ‘flappy’ bits of skin back of nose / throat but it didn’t work. I still need earplugs even in my separate bedroom

socks1107 · 23/04/2026 07:27

This is something I’m considering due to dh snoring and my poor sleep in menopause were disturb each other. What do you all do on holiday? I love holidays and I know once we have separate rooms I’ll struggle on holiday whereas now I muddle through

ALittleBitofWensleydale · 23/04/2026 07:31

We have been in separate bedrooms for about 10 years and it is perfect.
Happily married, no problems but sleep is important.

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/04/2026 07:37

Married for nearly 20 years and now sleeping in separate rooms. His snoring and jumping about due to back problems kept me awake for years but now I sleep blissfully. He has reported waking himself up with his own snoring because I'm not there to give him a shove. That's his problem!

LateFiesta · 23/04/2026 07:54

We have slept in separate rooms since DCs were little because of his horrendous snoring. I love it and dread staying in hotels when we go away. As I’ve got older I need more sleep so it works for us. Weirdly we’ve never discussed it with friends though.

AmandaHoldensLips · 23/04/2026 07:58

Separate bedrooms for the last 20 years due to snoring. The best decision ever. Both very happy, have gorgeous bedrooms set up exactly as we want them. Bonus points for separate bathrooms too. Bliss.

IDontHateRainbows · 23/04/2026 07:59

Had separate bedrooms for years. He snores, I'm a light sleeper.

7238SM · 23/04/2026 08:00

OP_ Has your DH been checked for sleep apnoea? My DH snored for years before he'd get checked. It can be very dangerous. His sleep apnoea turned out to be very severe and has had a CPAP machine for a few years now. Its silent and I'm still trying to wean myself off using earplugs every night. We'd likely have separate rooms if he didn't have the machine.

TubeScreamer · 23/04/2026 08:27

Separate bedrooms due to snoring here. Plus dh is an early to bed, early to rise person, and I am not.
it was that or divorce/murder

SoUncertain · 23/04/2026 08:28

My friend's parents have neighbouring flats! They love it as they can decorate as they wish, but still see each other all the time. Probably not for me but I can see why it works for them!

NormasArse · 23/04/2026 08:31

We have our own rooms. We love each other dearly, but DH doesn’t like sleeping with the dogs, and I do. He also likes to watch films on his laptop in bed, where I go straight to sleep. It works for us!

SharonEllis · 23/04/2026 08:34

Yes, have done for years. Sometimes Im a bit sad about it but we both sleep much better for it and its really nice to have our own space.

Oleoreoleo · 23/04/2026 08:35

I’m envious, not so much of the separate bed but the separate rooms. The thing I missed most about growing up was having a room that was all mine to freely express myself in.

I live dh dearly but I don’t live his opinions on how to decorate the house 🤣

FrauPaige · 23/04/2026 08:37

A friend of mine does this - says it has actually improved her sex life, as if one lingers in the other's bedroom, it means sexy time. She gets to be well slept, and to only see him in undress when they are intimate, so it helps them maintain allure.

ReyRey12 · 23/04/2026 08:58

My parents and both sets of grandparents slept in separate rooms. I think the key toa long marriage is separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms.