Book of info for when I die

[canihaveonesomeroses]

I’m not sure housekeeping is the right topic, but …

I’ve seen books you can fill out with info for surviving spouse/children after your death. Details of property, insurance, funeral wishes, things they need to know where to find etc. We’ve just redone our wills as our children are now over 18 so we can drop the guardian bit and can leave them their inheritance outright.

I think one of these books would be invaluable - as a prompt for me, to cover everything, as well as for those (DH? Children?) who survive me.

But the ones I’ve seen are all American, and there are enough differences between the legal systems that I don’t think the prompts will be quite right.

Anyone found a good one? Or am I going to have to put one together myself??

I can't help but I think it's a good idea so watching with interest.

I looked up similar the other day and found the same thing on Amazon! So following with interest.

We used the Age UK one

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/end-of-life-planning/lifebook/

Seems a really good idea. Maybe there is something on Etsy? Just had a quick look and I don’t know if this will work? https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1561511053/just-in-case-the-world-doesnt-end-when-i?ref=share_ios_native_control

Age UK have a downloadable one
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/end-of-life-planning/lifebook/

They are good idea, but we've done it a little differently in our family. Both my parents have a list of passwords that they print out a copy of whenever they update a new password and give to me - interestingly neither give each other a copy despite the fact they have mirror wills that leave everything to one another!

I know where the spare cash is in their house for emergencies. I have a copy of both wills. I have POA for health and finances - in the event this is needed - for both of them. Mum wants a direct cremation and then to be mixed in with the cremains of the cats! She doesn't mind about scattering, so I've said I'll pop across to Bedwellty graveyard and scatter her with her mum and dad. My dad wants a direct cremation and then to be scattered on Pen y Fan - don't die in the winter then mate, I'm not climbing up there in snow and gales!

I think that's everything covered - the passwords are for all accounts including emails, bank, savings, HMRC, premium bonds, insurance, Sky, TV licence, you name it really. I can't think of anything that I don't know. They each run me through it all annually just in case - my aunt died last month so we ran through it all again. Although now my mum thinks she might want to leave her body to medical science if they want to take it - so she's looking into that!

Our Catholic church have some forms you can take but I think they're mainly to do with what kind of funeral you would like.

That’s great - thanks for the link- defo a UK one and looks (at a glance) to cover everything.

Would be nice if it was prettier - for me while I fill it in rather than whoever will have to use it 😁

That’s the sort of prep work I was thinking of Arlanymor, am impressed with the annual updates and run through, will have to do that when it’s up and running!

You don’t need anything official. You just need your executors/next of kin to know what bank accounts etc you have and how to access them, plus NI numbers etc- if the worst comes to the worst. The more you do the better for your relatives. One of my friend’s parents left a detailed list regarding their funeral -who to invite, what kind of service they wanted, music, readings etc. he also left a comprehensive list of passwords and lists of accounts.
It probably sounds strange, but having recently organised my parents and my best friend’s funeral and eulogies, I think I might roughly write my own, or at least do bullet points of details of my life. My husband and relatives would struggle.

Edited to add, just buy a pretty notebook?

Everyone always says passwords but officially you can't use someone else's password. OK, useful to have to email, Netflix or whatever but for a bank account or anything financial, you just have to let the bank know they have died, you can't access the accounts.
I have a list of my accounts, pensions etc so the family know who to inform

We’re over 50 and have done this but it’s all digital, although we have printed copies of our wills. I keep saying to my husband that we should print out the spreadsheet of accounts etc.

Neither of us care about funeral stuff. We’ve told the kids they can do whatever they like, be that nothing (direct cremations) or a funeral.

Why not get a pretty folder with wallets that you can add / remove sheets as and when?
DH and I have made a spreadsheet that we've shared with our adult DC as well as copies of our wills. Just need to sort out LPAs

I’ve just bought a pretty linen covered box file with dividers for this very purpose. Having just been through the process of dealing with the estate of a deceased relative and dealing with the finances of a relative with dementia I want all of my information in one place.

LPAs!! I knew there would be something I’d forgotten I wanted to sort!

As you say User253853 it’s so helpful to have all the info in one place and if it’s something I can do now to make things easier later, I want to do it

I was just coming to add this!

Did all this fairly recently for a relative, solicitor asked for passport, bank statements and utility bills and dealt with everything. I used the tell us once service to mop up other things.
You can’t use anyone else’s password and especially after their death!

@Arlanymormy friends dad left his body to science - it was a fucking nightmare the minute he died, my poor friend had to deal with his grieving Mother , Sister and arrange immediate transportation of his dad’s body - to get him on ice as it were, asap. Mega stressful 😥

Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. If it’s what she wants, then it’s what she wants and I will absolutely support her in her choice, but we do need to know how the details would work and how to prepare ourselves. So she’s looking into it - in her mind it’s a whole body version of donor parts, which also have to be swiftly dealt with. We’re all signed up to donate so I think we’d be fairly resilient to the timeframe at least. Am so sorry it was so awful for your friend, sounds really rough.

This is something my friend has been working on and which I've eagerly awaited following the death of both of my own parents; one of whom was woefully under-prepared while the other had turned preparation for death into a labour of love, for which I am so grateful.

I've asked if I can signpost to her work:

"Mala Clare Brinsden has just published an End of Life Planner, "If I Drop Dead Tomorrow- here's what you need to know!" specifically for the UK.

In addition, the book is also a guide of the steps that follow a person's death, to support their families/ friends at this stressful and challenging of times.

The book will be available to buy on Amazon in the coming week."

I just used a notebook.

No advice on this.

my mums neighbour had bought one of these and dropped down dead before he could fill it in 😢
it would have made his husbands life much easier had he done so.
he was the one in the relationship who took care of everything so was so hard on his partner.
Things like passwords to their bank accounts were so difficult for him to navigate.

I'd be tempted to download the Age UK one to ensure I had everything needed then buy a pretty filofax and create my own using the download. Then if anything changes or needs updating you can just change a page in the filofax.

My friend's dad made a folder of everything- bank accounts, pensions, investments, passwords, will, funeral plan etc - just in case. He was going in to hospital for a minor op and when she went to collect him be brought it out with a flourish and put it on the kitchen table "just in case." But the operation went wrong and they used everything in it.

Even just doing a prepaid funeral plan where you've chosen the service, location, undertaker, coffin, songs etc can help.

I got the Age UK one, but to be honest, I didn't find that it covered my needs.
Ideally I think a loose leaf file of information that's specific to what I leave behind would be better than a book with black pages, and other pages that aren't big enough for my needs.

Someone on Instagram was offering a 25 page document, free of charge, that could be downloaded for that kind of use,.But of course never responded to my request.

Has anyone else seen anything like that, that can be customised?