Book of info for when I die

[canihaveonesomeroses]

I’m not sure housekeeping is the right topic, but …

I’ve seen books you can fill out with info for surviving spouse/children after your death. Details of property, insurance, funeral wishes, things they need to know where to find etc. We’ve just redone our wills as our children are now over 18 so we can drop the guardian bit and can leave them their inheritance outright.

I think one of these books would be invaluable - as a prompt for me, to cover everything, as well as for those (DH? Children?) who survive me.

But the ones I’ve seen are all American, and there are enough differences between the legal systems that I don’t think the prompts will be quite right.

Anyone found a good one? Or am I going to have to put one together myself??

All this information is also necessary should your kids need to use financial LPA, though. And in that case they can, and need to, use your passwords, at least initially.

Thank you for starting this thread, OP. It has prompted some useful thinking for me.

Given that I'm not planning to pop off any time in the immediate future, it occurred to me that a loose leaf folder would be more suitable than a book, because it would give me greater flexibility to amend and update the details as things evolve and change.

So I'm going to buy myself a really pretty folder and gradually start populating it with my own content. If anyone else is thinking of doing this, perhaps we could exchange ideas on here about content? I might also download the Age UK stuff as a starting point, and I might consider buying one of the books if only to get some further prompts.

We have recently lost both my stepmum and mother-in-law. The thing that was missing for both of them (and one was very organised!), was a list of names, relationship, and telephone numbers of family and friends that they wanted us to give news of their death to.

There were address books, and mobile phones, but was (for instance) "Chris" - the plumber, the diabetic nurse or the prayer circle leader....
We are still sure, a month after the funerals, that we have not let some important people know. 🙁

Really great thread. I have started a notebook. Just adding anything to it as I think of it. A few ideas here already. I think anything we can do to help our loved ones is a gift xx

I think this is such an important thing to do for those left behind, but it also gives me peace of mind knowing I have organised my affairs.

We just use a Word document and Excel spreadsheet so I can update it regularly. It includes:

bank accounts
pensions
life insurance
home and contents insurance
passwords
regular direct debit details / explanations
wills info
benefits info (related to DD)
plumber
handyman
gardeners
cleaner
vet details
phone numbers and email addresses for key family members

That sounds like it could be the title of a best seller. Young woman sorting through old boxes in her later grandmother's attic, finds a book of that title and starts uncovering a secret life that no-one in the family knew about. Or did they?

I have heard recommendations of this book but not read it myself
https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-later-years/sir-peter-thornton/9781835012093

Not to lower the tone but my sister has asked me, in the event of her unexpected death, to go into her house, go to a particular location in her bedroom and dispose of intimate items before her adult sons get there.

That’s what sisters are for!

I have no-one who could do that for me at short notice, so I daren't own such things!

All of you that have folders of all this information, aren't you worried a burglar could steal it and have access to everything? Where do you keep it safe?

I got an end of life wishes book from Temu.

This has been on my mind 😂

My Dad has made a red ring binder and told me where it is kept.

It has all the legal and other necessary documents in and the details of their solicitor.

Agree with this.

An older single woman in my DH’s family died unexpectedly. Months later someone she had been close to for decades but not in recent contact with came out of the woodwork and they were devastated they’d known nothing about it and missed the funeral. She had also left a couple of items at her home and they had been sold in the house clearance as we had no idea they didn’t belong to the family member.

If you are holding someone’s objects - write it down

And write a list of friends who’d want to know.

I feel like there is demand for some kind of commercial service…

I’d name the company “Burrowed Away”.

Sorry for the duplicates!

Only yesterday I read about someone reasonably local to me who does a kind of digital de-cluttering service, with one option of creating exactly this kind of resource for family members/attorneys/executors.

Though I've already gathered a lot of documents and information together and filed it, I can imagine that a half day session with her to include how to include digital stuff would be helpful.

For instance, all my banking is done via Multi Factor Authentication. Which means that if my daughters have to manage my account, they'll need to get into my phone. Which is all very well, but do I want them to have access to the entirety of my phone? Actually, no. I'm quite private, and some of my WhatsApp messages with friends might contain things that they would want to keep private. And when you stop to think about it, we have so much info on our phones that we need to be able to curate into what they need or should be able to access, and what they maybe should not.

Ah yes, it all could get a bit more complex that some documents in a ring binder.

Just do a spreadsheet, and print out a few copies.

I bought this the other day - I really like it, but I guess it might be a bit blunt for some.
thedeathbook.co.uk/

When you die no one can access any of your accounts unless they have power of attorney. The executors then have to sort it out. I have a book with all my logins in if someone needed to access them, slightly encrypted though.

We used AGEUK. Now that your children are grown I strongly suggest you do POAs. If the two of you are injured they can access financial and medical health for you. It is very easy to do on line.

Power of attorney (in England anyhow) ceases at the moment of death.

I have this!