Book of info for when I die

[canihaveonesomeroses]

I’m not sure housekeeping is the right topic, but …

I’ve seen books you can fill out with info for surviving spouse/children after your death. Details of property, insurance, funeral wishes, things they need to know where to find etc. We’ve just redone our wills as our children are now over 18 so we can drop the guardian bit and can leave them their inheritance outright.

I think one of these books would be invaluable - as a prompt for me, to cover everything, as well as for those (DH? Children?) who survive me.

But the ones I’ve seen are all American, and there are enough differences between the legal systems that I don’t think the prompts will be quite right.

Anyone found a good one? Or am I going to have to put one together myself??

Deleted as I misread

It is so worth doing. My dad just wrote out a load of information on some pages. It was invaluable when sorting his affairs.

I am going to do one too. I'm only 47 but I have a lot of assetts and I am keeper of all the information regarding the children.

I just made a document myself and printed it. Utilities, which account the direct debit comes from, username and password, everything from council tax to Netflix. Passwords are all in code.

It's in a folder with information on wills, lpas and what to do after death. Also useful if one of us is incapacitated. I plan to do an advance decision but haven't got round to it yet.
The details change regularly so I update it every year.
Just to add when dealing with the estates if all our olds those with mostly joint accounts were 100 times easier.

I realised I also want to include some notes about sentimental items we own - a grandmother’s jewellery which is special for the particular memories attached rather than monetary value, a watch bought for a special anniversary, some wine glasses inherited from a great aunt, that sort of thing.

I think I’d like the children to know the history of the items, before they can decide whether to liquidate them, donate them or keep them 😁

Good idea

Free Lifebook download on the AgeUK website is the one we use.

Not a book but a spreadsheet and Word document on the p.c. As that way I can add to it as I remember stuff.

I think this is a great idea, and I have started doing something myself after a recent experience. MIL died last year. She had a box containing details of all her bank accounts, policies, house deeds. Together with details of a funeral plan she’d already bought. Also had what songs and hymns she wanted at her funeral, together with the details of the funeral celebrant who did the funeral of late fil. Also detailed what she wanted as a memorial, ie wanted a bench at a local beauty spot who allowed this sort of thing. The whole experience was so smooth. Compare that with bil who died earlier this month. We had to search for his accounts and policies (he was divorced so lived alone) Searched to see if he had life assurance or funeral plans - can’t find anything but that’s not to say there isn’t something somewhere. Trying to find ideas of hymns and appropriate songs, and the family arguing over what should be done with his body - cremation or burial. All really stressful, and adding to an already very hectic and stressful situation.

Pop on Amazon and search Death Book and there are many options

I have an “in case of death” book for if I die sort of unexpectedly (I’m early 30s , appreciate it’s quite morbid!) - with specific details of life insurance / pensions / ISA’s (not that there’s much in there at the moment!!) / funeral ideas

This is such a good idea. My siblings and I realised after our DParents died that we all had quite different ideas of the provenance and significance of many of the 'special' items left, none of us holding the 'definitive' story. And also that we didn't quite know what might hold monetary value, and what didn't.

My Mum kept wanting to give me her password, especially her bank and savings passwords. There's no point. No-one else is allowed to access your bank accounts and what could you do once you accessed them anyway? The best thing is to have a list of accounts and account numbers, plus details of any pensions and regular outgoings etc. Bereavement teams at financial institutions will deal with the rest.

This is amazing - thank you!

Bank passwords are no use because only the account holder can use them and accounts are frozen as soon as the bank is told the person has died, except joint accounts which are made over to the other account holder. A list of bank names and account numbers is useful though.

I would just add, pop a letter in there to your children or partner or whoever you want to. I promise they will read it over and over again.

Not for everyone, but I really like these two…

This idea is such a good idea, I want to make life as easy as possible for my loved ones and as the person who mostly sorts out individual and family admin, I think my other half would be so lost and having to deal with young children in the mix too.

Again, although this thread is about when we die, this information isn't just worth gathering together for that reason. It will also be essential for anyone who has LPA for us. And in that case they will need the passwords.

My mum was fully fit and active one day, and paralysed by a massive stroke, the next. My sibling and I had to manage everything for her from that moment, and being able to actually access her accounts was a primary need.
My MIL had dementia, and likewise my SIL needed to be able to act for her, and at a point where MIL could no longer remember her passwords.

My plan is to keep the passwords separate from the main file, but ensure that my children know where they are.

My mum left her body to science but they didn’t need her, so suddenly I had to organise a funeral and undertakersetc. They said the majority of people that donate their bodies aren’t needed. So it’s always a good idea to have discussed what you would want for your funeral as a back up plan.

It would certainly make it easier to use the incapacitated passwords in this situation, but I don't think you are really allowed to. I think that the Attorney is supposed to register with the person's bank who will give them their own access to the account.

One of the big things is making sure the birth and marriage certificates are accessible, then passwords and a list of which suppliers and subscriptions they have. A list of direct debits is useful as well.

Another tip is, if for whatever reason you know the end is coming help, them cancel as much as possible before hand if there's no contract.

Virgin money told me yesterday to just access my mum's app to get direct debit details.

What a lot of different aspects there are to people in our lives dying, I recently came across a small company who will take on the business of not just clearing a house but, in advance or after a death, assessing all the contents and providing you with a list and valuation if you want it, plus what things are to be kept perhaps marked up for those who will receive and general help with all the admin. I thought it was clever, here's the website:

https://www.martlet-home.co.uk

Please, please do NOT include your bank passwords or PINs in your file. Just a list of all the banks / financial institutions you have accounts with is sufficient, plus a list of accounts if you like (but that's not essential).

You do not need passwords or PINs to access accounts in the event of an LPA being invoked or on death. Just inform the bank and they will follow the correct procedure.

You would be illegally accessing the account using someone else's log ons plus it's heaven for a burglar.

I just got this one from Amazon, it seems pretty good, and reasonable price. As well as all the legal info, it has sections for internet and social media stuff, subscriptions, funeral wishes, last messages to people etc.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GLHHSBZ8.

It can be difficult when you don't hear from someone, at Christmas for example, and you're not sure if something's wrong or they've just stopped sending cards.

For that reason I recently went through my address book and put a red mark at the people to be informed. I made sure their mobile number was there where possible.

It didn't need to be everyone in my book - some know other friends and can pass the word on.