De cluttering - help!

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I live with a hoarder and its very difficult to throw things away. I have some hoarding tendencies, usually because I like to go back to things (clothes/shoes/bags usually) later, some years later and re discover things

Sods law every time Ive got rid of things, a few months later I'll find out I wanted it or need it, then need to rebuy

But I would like to make a start on books, DVDS and CDs

I dont know where to start

The charity shops dont seem to take stuff, we have hundreds of these things.

I know that if I say Im going to sell them, they'll sit there for years and years more, I dont have the head space to do all that.

Apart from the car we dont even have CD players in the house now

But I also still feel grieved about a record collection that got lost in a house move aobut 20 years ago, Im still upset about how many original 60s LPs and rare 12 inches I lost, but then I dont have record player either so dont know the relevance of that.

Where do you start with this sort of thing, particularly with someone who is going to argue about every little thing

We have tons and tons of ordnance survey maps, and the 'Lonely Planet' and 'Rough Guide' books to nearly virtually every country in the world. All way out of date now of course

I had a dvd clear out, I put them on olio and someone collected the lot the next day there was about 300 dvds. Books I left at our community library ( if you have one) our tesco also have a free book exchange and they took 3 bags of them.

The secret is to pick something and start.
If the travel books are out of date, they can go into the recycling?
You can also research how to dispose of the next category - the priority is starting.
Start with something you will find easy.

Hoarders UK has a guide which might help you.

Take all clothes straight to the Salvation Army collection bin, don't waste time looking for somewhere else.

Just focus on getting it out of the house then. Charity shops for whatever they will take, freecycle, community book shops etc. if you can’t get rid of anything easily then take it to the dump.

Following

Its true isnt it!!!

Like which collector exactly!!!

I tried this and at least 75% of the books weren’t accepted… it just said ‘we are not accepting this title at this time’. Gave up and took them all to the charity shop (who incidentally looked at me like I’d shat on their shoes for burdening them with a couple of boxes of excellent quality books!)

Yes this is what happens more often than not now, I bag it up, phone the big charity shops and find none of them are taking 'today', so I say what about tomorrow 'oh we're not sure, phone tomorrow'

Weeks go by with this cat and mouse game and in the end it goes to the sally army

Lol, Ive downloaded the app and will start scanning the CDs at the moment as they're on a shelving unit in the living room and some are easy wins as I say, if Im finding that most are not accepted I wont waste my time.

Ive asked him about the DVD collection, none of which are mine actually and apparently he had a sort out 'recently (ie about 10 years ago) and what are left are films in the format you cant get anywhere else. I can categorically say these have not been watched in years, possibly over 10 years.

The other excuse he will use is that none of this is on show, its in cupboards, in the loft, in units, neatly on shelves etc so he'll say whats the need for this, its not in the way its not utilising space we need for something else and I dont have an answer to that.

I would photograph the CDS altogether and put in Freecycle and say they all need to go together.

That way, they all go at once. If you’re nervous about having someone come I go your home because of the hoarding, get them all in boxes and leave outside and tell the person that is having them that they can only collect at X time e not at all. You agree X time with them.

Well Ive downloaded the app, checked the collection parameters, ate my lunch, chopped up a tree, Ive not been just dithering.

Once Ive finished this bit of yule log Im on it

I did a drawer yesterday as well. Two in fact but theres where I found those old payslips and invoices, do they go on the fire or not? 15 year old invoices and payslips from self employment? Do I need to keep stuff that old?

I’ve just tried world of books on a big box of mixed cookbooks, children’s books and misc old and new. I’d say 60% were accepted, the kids ones were 10p-50p and the most I got was £3 for a cookbook. £18.50 overall, really pleased with that so thanks for the suggestion!

I was going to suggest this.

They come to your door to get them, and you get done money, it's great.

If you get the app in your phone, you simply scan the bar code and it tells you how much they'll give you for them. It won't be much, but it adds up if you have several books.

Then I give the rest to charity, along with kids books, which I always give to the charity shop as we got so many from there when the DC were little.

I think the key for me in letting go of stuff, is coming to the realisation that it really is just stuff! And I need that space for my family, who are much more important that stuff. I have strong hording tendancies so it's taken a lot to get to this point.

Old rough guides - they're no use to anyone, they can go in the recycling. Just do it!

15 year old receipts, yes they can go. You only need to keep for 6 years.

Unfortunately this is a mental challenge more so than a physical or logisitical one

self employment paperwork generally 6 years but if fraud suspected inland revenue can go back 12 years, keep the actual end of year accounts for years 6-12 not the supporting paperwork you do need the paperwork for years 1-6 but it can be in digital form

The DVD and CD's are for landfill unfortunately unless music magpie or world of books takes them, using your home as a pre-landfill receptacle is not helping either you or the planet.

DO NOT BUY NEW STORAGE AT ALL, EVER

everything has to fit in the alloted space you can keep any book you want but it must fit in the bookcase, not in a pile beside it
same with socks you can have as many pairs as fit in "X" space

start with easy wins that are not sentimental
plastic tupperware in kitchen no boxes without lids no lids without boxes
no odd socks
no socks or pants with holes

old travel guides are useless OK so the eiffel tower hasn't moved but the ticket price and opening times will not be the same as in the guide neither will the restaurants or hotels be the same as in 1997

then later start with clothes that don't fit. you don't like, need mending or are stained if you loved them enough to mend or remove stains you would already have done it so you don't really truly care that deeply

I think the best way to deal with maybe regretting dumping something you later "need" is to ask can I replace this in 30 minutes for £10/20./50? whatever would be appropiate for youtr finances and if I did not have this do i have something I could use instead
for example if you get rid of your spare potato peelers and your only one broke you could order one online in 5 minutes for less than £5 and you could at least short term use a knife instead
same with a kettle more money but easy to replace and you could boil water other ways, I am not suggesting you get rid of the kettle but you don't need a spare

at the opposite end just because you have not needed your extending ladders to clean gutters or replace a missing tile in the last 12 months you would not get rid of them as if there is storm damage you will need several hundreds to replace them there is nothing you can use instead and after a storm everyone will be wanting the same trades to repair so in that case it would be foolish to dump your ladders but again you don't need a spare set

I have hoarding -used to think it was ocd hoarding but realised it was adhd hoarding there is a difference. Not upset about getting rid of stuff … just not sure the process / how etc due to poor exec function. My advice is to start one group of things at a time (like books) and don’t tell him about what you are doing with your stuff. Some hospitals take book donations.

I think all you need to worry about is this some thing you want to collect as in does having it in your home make your life better or is it just taking up space. People collect all sorts of random stuff but younger generation on the whole seem to collect stuff.

Op, at this stage just dump. We have spent an entire day clearing out our "room of doom" Stuff we hadn't used for years. I was in (and you have to be) a ruthless mood. Stuff is all at the dump now and I can see carpet, looks brand new 😂
Ps
I have looked in the room twice now to see how lovely it looks 😂

Books, CDs and DVDs are easy to get rid of. There are a couple of services where you download an app, scan the barcode of the items & it’ll tell you how much they’re worth. Then, you confirm you’re getting rid & they will arrange collection. It arrives at their depot , they inspect your stuff and then pay you. I think music magpie was one service we used. We’ve used a few and never had a problem with them.

When you say "chopped up a tree" did you mean you cut a slice of your yule log? 😂