De cluttering - help!

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I live with a hoarder and its very difficult to throw things away. I have some hoarding tendencies, usually because I like to go back to things (clothes/shoes/bags usually) later, some years later and re discover things

Sods law every time Ive got rid of things, a few months later I'll find out I wanted it or need it, then need to rebuy

But I would like to make a start on books, DVDS and CDs

I dont know where to start

The charity shops dont seem to take stuff, we have hundreds of these things.

I know that if I say Im going to sell them, they'll sit there for years and years more, I dont have the head space to do all that.

Apart from the car we dont even have CD players in the house now

But I also still feel grieved about a record collection that got lost in a house move aobut 20 years ago, Im still upset about how many original 60s LPs and rare 12 inches I lost, but then I dont have record player either so dont know the relevance of that.

Where do you start with this sort of thing, particularly with someone who is going to argue about every little thing

We have tons and tons of ordnance survey maps, and the 'Lonely Planet' and 'Rough Guide' books to nearly virtually every country in the world. All way out of date now of course

I started doing the Flylady 27 items a day routine a week ago and am already feeing lighter now that 200 items I’m not using have left the house. I’m not trying to sell or donate at the moment just putting them straight into the bin or recycling box and because it’s only 27 items at a time that hasn’t felt too challenging.

It is amazing though the difference it has made - my bathroom is now perfectly organised and my bedroom and home office are both already looking a lot better and I can find the stuff I actually use so much more easily.

I’ve also set myself a challenge not to buy any new toiletries or clothes before June and also to avoid any food waste by ensuring left overs get planned for and eaten quickly.

Busted!!!

Well, christ alive, so guesstimate of around 550 CDs

Only 54 were wanted by world of books!!! But thats given me around 30 quid. I need to get the box sealed up now and get them up the road to the shop

The rest are in bags for charity and there was a bit of confusion between the person who picked up the phone and the manager as to whether they'll take the due to the number of them so I'll try to drop off tomorrow. If not, its the dump for them

I have kept around 100 or so at the moment

But like I said, its not that its freed up 'space' as such, they were on a shelving unit behind the living room door which is always open, so you couldnt even see we had them. What am I going to put on the shelves now?

Theres nothing in the bathroom that needs losing, theres no clutter in there.

Kitchen, thats a different matter, no clutter on the work tops, but Ive got various storage units which are massive and intruding in the kitchen. A double cupboard of tupperware as someone else said, needs going through.

Why have there been posts deleted?

I also use Anglo Doorstep Collections. it’s very easy to donate this way.

Have you looked at the Anglo Doorstep link I posted upthread? No faffing around with whether they’re willing to take them or not, you just leave stuff out on the appointed day and it disappears. They take all sorts of other stuff as well and donate quite a bit of the financial proceeds to charity. I keep a bag on the go at all times for an Anglo collection and it has really helped chip away at the clutter.

Yep as I said upthread Ive looked at all the links and checked the parameters of collections, they do collect in my area. I havent contcted them yet as the charity should take this lot tomorrow.

If I have stuff that cant be taken then I can contact them.

In fact just out of curiosity I had a look and their first collection date at the moment is 14th Jan, I dont want these bags hanging round for 2 week if I can help it

They normally come round every 2 weeks. I usually book them in once a month to keep on top of stuff.

Thats a good idea

So just do the Salvation Army straight away - they are a charity.

Id just box it up and take it to the tip. Thats what i do when its too much. I threw away a bag of stuffed toys into the bin the other day (they had been drawn all over & i had washed them but still severely stained, so no one would want them), doesnt always feel great to do but sometimes mental health is more important

Maybe let the shelves go too, then you'll have some more space?

They're not taking up any space though!

He's already been sniffing around accusing me of getting rid of his things even though I left his rare CDs on the shelves

Paperwork for tax you keep for seven years then chuck.
I have a similar situation, dh very much hoarding tendencies but our house is not full of piles of stuff (usually).
We have had a couple of huge sorts of books and took a load to a charity having a book fair. Now I suspect would not be so easy and if I was tackling cds/dvds I would probably chuck them as I don’t know who would benefit and anything other than chucking would take more effort and be less likely to lead to us finishing the job.
I find stuffed full storage infuriating as you then can’t easily access and use things, I like things organised logically, where they belong and where I can put my hands on them. We have a lot of cupboards with everything in boxes which can be slid forward or lifted out so you don’t have to shift lots of things.
We each have some spaces in the house that are our own to manage and I push on public areas. Nice storage basket each in the lounge so I lob everything of his in when I want to do a quick tidy.
We agreed a one in one out on clothes, am currently waiting to see what is going to happen with Black Friday/Christmas presents/sales purchases😂.

Theres a stair basket which has grown roots on the stairs. Its become a storage item. I dont know whats in it actually.

Where I live there is a brilliant company that collect from your doorstep for free and you choose the charity - they will collect most bric a brac (books, toys , kitchen items) - maybe look at doing this - it is so stress free

Where I live, if you contact the Salvation Army they will come to your home to collect donated stuff. They use clothing and towels etc for the homeless, and sell other items in their charity shops.

They’re great and have a large shop I drive to every few months with my donations, no quibbling they take everything. I bought my Christmas jigsaw from there for £1 and will donate it back. I don’t buy brand new jigsaws anymore as only do a jigsaw once.

Find it really difficult to throw anything away. Thoughts of nostalgia, will it become a 'classic', will I need it in the next 20 years !, is it still useful ? Mostly it's the nostalgic influence that is uppermost. That, and anything over ten years old now seems to be 'collectible' ! Really wish I could empty my mind and just dump nearly all of it !

I am absolutely useless at getting rid of stuff, although do manage it sometimes. I am hanging on to lots of books though, because I have realised how seeing them reminds me of times and stories, so they are useful, I just don't need many new things.

Just chuck them you will feel better for it and you need the kick up your arse to start the emotional detachment. Don't get caught up in perfection or money
You can try putting them on free cycle/buy nothing or olio app but it's a hassle and you will procrastinate

You need a charity bag by the door 24/7 and fill it with clothes, bric a brac, shoes, household bits and everyday when you leave the house take it into the car, put it in your PASSENGER SEAT (v important as you'll procrastinate if it's in the boot) and drive straight to your local charity collection bin and pour it all in. Shopping bag back in the hallway by the front door when you get home. Repeat

Don't tell partner or involve him at the beginning as you establish habits or if he asks just say you're spring cleaning and if he pushes just ignore it !!!

Theres no room in the boot!!!

Lol

If he is becoming a problem buy a huge Really Useful Box and chuck in stuff that's his for him to deal with later (aka you put it in the shed or loft)

Try and declutter a box or drawer with him involved every weekend night maybe with a nice film or drink to hand to make it less stressful
If you have DC emphasise you need space and if you die they'll have to sort all this shit and throw it out anyway and not be as detailed as him/you so you may aswell get it down to FAVOURITES now
Very unfair for DC to have to sort whilst grieving
Also emphasise whatever will appeal to him, it's a fire hazard, some things are going mouldy etc

I've done this for so many relatives it's depressing and hard work.. I used to use my best judgement, chucking tatty and broken bits first. That aren't fixable
Then out of date and scratched cds and dvds. Kept good quality children's films for the charity shop and put it in the bins that accept bric a brac for ease - never bothered going into a shop.

Then bank and personal paperwork thrown all into really useful boxes. Never looked in or sorted as you waste valuable time - hate to say it but my relatives died without even ever looking inside the box of their precious important paperwork - their choice ! They just wanted it nearby. Fair enough! Again I didn't bother shredding. It's too much. Into the recycling or burned in the garden.

I had to be ruthless to allow relatives either to go into care home/fund sale of houses or to get them back home from hospital/care home so needed a hugely clear space for carers etc accessibility. My mum kept all sorts of shit for sentimentality - I took a pic of the nicest bits - then into the bin or chazza or up on freecycle. Noone wants child artwork 50 years later! Sad.

LOL! oh dear. Then you start with the boot! Shopping bag in your front passenger or behind the drivers seat at all times 😆😅

I don't know if you would be helped in the same way but what I did in my early 30s was buy a huge hard drive (on Amazon, about the same size as a phone battery charger) and upload all of my CD's and DVDs onto that. It can be very refreshing once you get into the routine and labelling them etc can make you feel very organised, which gives quite a buzz. I then managed to get rid of them guilt free. I also would say I do often watch the DVDs esp if we want something not on Netflix. Also imagine what can go in the space created...a nicer bit of furniture? Comfy chair?