De cluttering - help!

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I live with a hoarder and its very difficult to throw things away. I have some hoarding tendencies, usually because I like to go back to things (clothes/shoes/bags usually) later, some years later and re discover things

Sods law every time Ive got rid of things, a few months later I'll find out I wanted it or need it, then need to rebuy

But I would like to make a start on books, DVDS and CDs

I dont know where to start

The charity shops dont seem to take stuff, we have hundreds of these things.

I know that if I say Im going to sell them, they'll sit there for years and years more, I dont have the head space to do all that.

Apart from the car we dont even have CD players in the house now

But I also still feel grieved about a record collection that got lost in a house move aobut 20 years ago, Im still upset about how many original 60s LPs and rare 12 inches I lost, but then I dont have record player either so dont know the relevance of that.

Where do you start with this sort of thing, particularly with someone who is going to argue about every little thing

We have tons and tons of ordnance survey maps, and the 'Lonely Planet' and 'Rough Guide' books to nearly virtually every country in the world. All way out of date now of course

I suggest you start by reading up on Mind website about how to a) deal with hoarding and b) support a hoarder.
Both are very hard.

Progress will be slow, and therapeutic support may be needed.

How bad is your home? And are new possessions coming in?

Things like this: I also still feel grieved about a record collection that got lost in a house move aobut 20 years ago, Im still upset affect some people more than others.

Well Im going to make a start myself, the books, maps etc are all mine, even though when I get rid of my own stuff he'll argue about that as well and go into some sort of tantrum even though its not his stuff.

The DVDs are his, the CDS are mine

The home doesnt look like a hoarders house but every single drawer, cupboard is full, airing cupboard is full, kitchen is overflowing.

Basically I suppose Im also asking, do people just chuck out CDs and DVDs into a skip, some are collectors items with sleeves, but then I couldnt actually say Ive looked at them for years so what difference does that make?

He gets quite angry at any suggestions that he is a hoarder so its not even a conversation Im going to have, been there and done that. I just want to get started but wondering whether people do just chuck stuff, its sort of paralysing to not know whether people really just chuck it

Also I was going through a drawer the other day and Ive kept invoices and recipes (for self employment) from 2010, when do you get rid of that stuff, payslips and things?

There is no way Im selling anything it will simply sit there for evermore while I find 'time' to manage it, it wont happen

Do charities take this stuff, ours dont even take clothes most of the time, I drive round with clothes in my car for ages and give up in the end and dump them in the Salvation Army bins at the supermarket.

I think the first hurdle is to stop placing value of any sort to the items….like the cds for example.

1. can you/do you use them? You have already answered that- no
2. will you ever use them?- do you use Spotify etc?what I mean by that is will you get the music through another means?
3. can you/will you sell them for anything worthwhile- again you said no…

so for me the conclusion is get rid of the cds they are of no value or use whatsoever for you. They do nothing for you other then be present in your house taking up space and gathering dust I presume.

Places like world of books take dvds, CDs and books. Just zap the barcodes and send them off. Don't dwell on individual prices. You'll get some money, it's easy, space back and no guilt at throwing them in the bin.

Are you in ‘catchment’ for Anglo Doorstep Collections?

anglodoorstepcollections.co.uk/what-happens-to-cds-and-dvds/

Im now back tracking on the selling thing as this would feel better, but how do you package them up, do I need to take them to the post office?

For books and CDs/DVDs I use https://sell.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/sell-my-books

Make a large pile of what you need to get rid of, the go through and scan all the items. End up with 1 pile to go to World of Books for selling, another to the dump because honestly no one wants them. Then box them up and leave on your step when you've arranged collection.

We tried MusicMagpie for DVDs. They didn't want 90%, it wasn't worth it.

I’ve done some major decluttering in the last year but got a ways to go still. Music magpie was good for getting rid of loads of books, CDs and DVDs (they collect by courier) and I used the money to give a % to charity, but also we have a central charity shop depot that takes things in bulk and is easier for driving to and parking up and leaving your items. It’s also worth asking on local Facebook pages which local charities are taking books and CDs as it changes depending on how much space they have.

Facebook is also wonderful for getting rid of things if you don’t want much in return and set your own limits ie collect today by 5pm. My kids have been persuaded to clear out loads of things they don’t want anymore by doing this in exchange for a few bars of chocolate.

I just got into the mindset of it not being about the money but about donating and helping reduce landfill waste.

I’ve found just doing little bits at a time, maybe a cupboard or a drawer or a room helps otherwise it becomes overwhelming.

Also getting yourself a home shredder.

We had a shredder years ago, it just overheated all the time and took an age to get stuff through the thing, I didnt want some massive thing also taking up space which is what he wanted, most things go on the fire if can put it on it.

So to box these things up, where do you get the boxes, Im now deliberating this

Im not on facebook and due to my job wouldnt be putting myself on it locally

I mean this in a kind way. It sounds like you also have hoarder tendencies. Sort your own stuff before you think about DH.

I second Anglo because it takes the hassle out of getting rid of things.

I’m in a similar position with fb and don’t have my name or a clear profile picture on for that reason. I just find it helpful but some people find it an annoyance.

Shredders can do that yes, you have to do it in 15 minute chunks a few sheets at a time here and there but you’d be amazed how you get through it. There are shedding companies also, we’ve taken a boot full of black bags to them before and had everything shredded for £20 or so, so that is also an option.

I guess if you want to do the decluttering, you’ll find a way to solve these issues. Perhaps by just doing one thing rather than thinking about all the different things this may help.

I said the same in my OP and Im sorting my stuff but do have a problem knowing what to keep, a lot of what i have are collector items, much of it also is just rubbish 'Now Dance' anyone!!!

So some are easy wins, but Ive now realised that actually the CDs are part his as well.

But do people even keep collector items? What for?

For books and CDs etc, use one of those websites like music magpie and send off any that they will take. Any that are left send to charity shop if they’ll take them or just dump. I know it feels wrong to dump stuff, but you don’t want it and if you don’t do something you’ll not make any progress.

Dont think about the money you’ve already spent on the stuff, that’s not relevant now, it’s already spent. Getting back some space and order will mean more to you than the money you spent on those items

Was going to suggest this. They saved me!!

Im not worried about the money that isnt my drive, I have a need to shed all this stuff, its suffocating.