Mums who work full time long hours. When do you clean?

[Gymmum82]

I’m about to start a full time role I’ll be leaving the house around 5.30-6am returning home around 5.30pm.
I’ll then need to transport the kids to clubs 4 nights a week. Make dinner, make lunches for the next day, eat dinner, do kids homework/reading etc.
So when do I clean?
What tasks should I be doing every day? Do I just leave the mess to build up and do a big clean at weekends? Then where does that leave family time?
Help. What do you do?

I assume you don’t have to stay for any of the activities so it’s just transporting them? I’d definitely see if DH can do some pick ups or swop with another parent. Not having to go out so much will help enormously.
Im lucky one of our brownie leaders lived on my street so would walk DD home. If she was off I would pick hers and walk both girls home. It’s things like this that make life easier.

Big clean Friday night would go to bed really late sometimes 1am and I do a reset every night when the kids are in bed washing in before work, hung out after work daily. I pretty much wouldn't sit down until Saturday night. No cleaner and a single parent at the time.

Having smaller space helps, looking back how my mum did when I grew up. Much easier to clean uncluttered 2 bed flat than cluttered 4+ bed with stairs and garden.

Transport the kids to clubs 4 nights a week on top of full-time work outside home is very intense, so I wouldn't blame you if something else gives.

It's a constant struggle and sometimes it all falls to pieces. But I just find it less stressful and takes less out of me than running around like a blue-arsed fly in the morning.

If you have some money (maybe not much but some), I'd definitely spend it stocking up on uniform and stuff for the kids so you have a full week's worth and you're not reliant on remembering to wash stuff during the week. Then you can lay everything out Sunday evening and know you've got it sorted. Also, everything for activities as well - buy new bags especially for those if you need to.

Well, clearly I now have to adopt all @CrispieCake tips because they are amazing 😍 and right up my street.
Have a place for everything and get everyone into the habit of returning things to that place (so don't pick up shoes, even though it's easier, say dd move your shoes please we're keeping a tidy ship here.)
Agree to clean half the house each on the weekend, rotating upstairs and downstairs. If he doesn't do it he doesn't do it, but you can do each bit thoroughly fortnightly.
Give the bathrooms a quick swish and swipe whenever you are in them. Quick swipe of the kitchen counters oven and floor with a cloth after breakfast and after dinner.
Robot vacuum on a black Friday deal.
Before you go shopping empty out of date things from the fridge and give it a wipe.
Pay the children pocket money to wipe down skirting boards occasionally.

We both work FT, and we do cleaner once a week, and I do another general tidying blitz on a Saturday morning while DH takes the kids to an activity.

For the daily stuff, DH does all kitchen tidying, dishes and bins. I do all laundry and online grocery shopping/meal planning.

I never clean. Our lovely weekly cleaner does a good scour weekly, changes bedlinen and irons, DH cooks and grocery shops, I tend to do homework help, DIY and garden.

No I don’t have to stay but clubs are minimum 15 mins drive away so doesn’t make sense really to come home and then drive back again.
I don’t know any other parents at any of the clubs so I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking a complete stranger to transport my child home. Particularly as they may well live on the total opposite side of town. Only football has any of their classmates in and I know they live a good 10 minutes away from us so it would be very out of their way for them to bring her home

I agree - that time is most efficiently used to do homework/reading with the other child. Or take some games like Boggle or Dobble and use it for 1-1 time with them.

as you wait at clubs use time to do life admin booking appointments reading school letters sorting insurance checking deals, meal planning, writing shopping list then using meal plan stock check at home and make any minor alterations to list.once kids in bed take 15-20 minutes to do quick kitchen , bathroom lounge tidy then you and DH sit down and relax
check you are not doing stuff that really doesn't need doing like washing towels and clothes after single use.
declutter ruthlessly including kids toys there is a lot of evidence that fewer toys leads to better and more imaginative play, also the less stuff you have the easier it is to clean and tidy
insist kids do their own tidying of toys after play, they can keep their bedrooms tidy if they can't they have too much stuff, they can load and unload a dishwasher
they can take 5 minutes in evening after homework to pack bag for next day
family meeeting about not creating work like everything gets put in its home immediately, mess avoidance rather than mess cleaning
set aside 90 minutes on the evening with no clubs so everyone you, DH and both kids do chores so it is tidy and clean
wash school uniform friday night
take saturday morning to do food shopping and some batch cooking and get ahead for the next week, DH does different chores while you do this such as laundry changing beds etc, Saturday afternoon leisure time
Sunday morning after a lie put all laundry away then any more iregular jobs DIY or gardening before lunch they rest of the day leisure
it might be better for your kids to have school lunches so you don't have to make sandwiches etc also means you can have a simpler evening meal
whenever you cook make 8 portions so you have 4 portions ready to go either the next night with a twist ( like mince with pasta spag bol then the next night add kidney beans and its chilli with rice) or to freeze

Probably nothing you haven't thought of but when I went back full time after mat leave, we got a cleaner for 2hrs a fortnight (£70 a month) who does bathrooms, changes bedding plus obviously a full clean...

This means we never have to do bathrooms or bedding (two off the mental load list!)

I basically chose 1 room/space that I wanted to prioritise which was the kitchen (cos when that goes to pot it all feels awful!) So that is left clean each night no matter how late... I mean pots washed, surfaces wiped etc not a deep clean!!

Living room and bedrooms we have a 20min tidy/blitz together a few times a week as and when manageable but our DC much younger so maybe your could do that bit?

Laundry one load a day put in wash at tea time and then in dryer overnight... Im going to plead the 5th on when that gets put away tho we are still working kn that one 😅😅🙈🙈

But it feels manageable like that and the house isn't a total tip every day 😅🙈

Do none of them finish at same time DH is heading home.

Are all the parents staying at football? I wouldn’t mind dropping off out of my way if I didn’t have to stay and another parent took/picked up.

I do think if you can afford a cleaner once a month even to do a big clean then lots of tasks you just won't need to think about doing and the list of things to just keep ticking over will hopefully feel smaller...

It's hard though I know lots of people manage it but as someone who doesn't enjoy cleaning and also works long days I sympathise!

@CrispieCake - excellent advice. I am so relieved to see your post, because there was a thread the other day about house rules, and so many posters said not to run the dishwasher, washing machne or dryer unless you were basically standing right next to it. Whilst I wouldn't run the dryer when I was out of the house, I frequently put on a wash overnight, or as I'm leaving the house. It is a relief to see that others do this too!

We both work out of the house FT and have an 8 and 4 year old. Few things that keep us sane -

Mornings - up and laundry on, set delay timer so it finishes for getting home. Dishwasher emptied while kettle boils

Porridge for all for breakfast - no offers of anything else.

Enough uniform/workwear for 5 days for each, all prepped on a Sunday night.

Bags checked on Sunday nights and any cash or items needed for school activities that week in bags or envelopes ready to grab and go.

Swim bag prepped as soon as out of the wash (as per pp)

We have Karate 2 days a week, Wednesday evening and Saturday mornings, Aldi is round the corner from Karate so 2 food shops a week, I go there in the hour they do karate.
Swimming Thursday nights, showered and into pjs straight after.
Football Saturdays at 12.

Sundays nothing happens, we all keep it free for a family day. DH and I spend an hour Sunday mornings blitzing anything that needs doing in the house, and the remainder of the day is free to spend as a family however we wish.

I don't think our family would function if we didn't do this, so I think we'll just have to live with the (hopefully small) risk and make sure we check our appliances frequently. And check home and contents insurance up-to-date and a clear escape route from upper windows. I can do no more 😅!

I agree with PJs on straight after swimming. Wash hair at the pool if you can and the queue for the showers isn't too long (ours is bedlam unfortunately but we used to go to a more civilised pool where we did this). CoL crisis unfortunately 😅!

My top tip for swimming would be to schedule the lesson (if you can) to allow 45 minutes for homework/reading to be done beforehand. Kids are too tired afterwards, I find. But that relies on a choice of lesson times, which we are lucky to have.

I work 4 days per week. That's simply it. We can't manage if I don't.

Even then we pace ourselves throughout the week. We always prioritise laundry (e.g. two loads every second day) to try to avoid a big build up at the weekend.

We batch cook at least once a week to try to ensure there are always one or two frozen meals in the freezer.

My one luxury is a supermarket delivery or click and collect about every 5-6 days. When you add up the hours saved in going to the shops/picking/packing/driving home I'm certain it's the cheapest thing you can outsource. We allow ourselves small or special top-up shops occasionally but I think this saves around 1.5-2 hours per week which I then spend cleaning instead.

Clearly no ADHD in the household!

I currently work part time and have done since kids. So naturally all the cleaning has fallen to me. He’s never had to do it. I hope he will step up. It’s a conversation we need to have and we will because I’m not continuing to do it all.

Such a common trap.

DH used to do it on Saturday mornings when I took the dc swimming (he can't swim).

The dc are now teens who can swim well, dh still does the cleaning on Saturday mornings. I spend the time shuffling turned around other enriching activities (public transport not an option).

Thank you, but I am not naturally organised (are many of us?). If it was just me, I'd happily live in chaos. I've just started getting it together over the past year after increasing my work hours and going through a spate of being late for school/not having the right kit for my DS's activities too many times. The stress just became too overwhelming and I felt I was letting my DC down 😬.

Sorry have RTFT. But that's an interesting point about ADHD. DH and one of our DC are both diagnosed. I'm certain that's why I can't do more than 4 days. The mental load is just far too much for me otherwise.

Me and teen DD are diagnosed. DH is almost certainly autistic.

We both work around 50-60 hours a week (me away from home half the month, him a couple of days), DD has clubs and everything else, we have a business (additional to day jobs), I’m finishing a degree and am a school governor for 2 schools. …….

I do the bare minimum mid week- wash up dinner dishes, stick in the odd load of washing, then a big clean at the weekend. I won't pretend it's immaculate but I've also learned to accept imperfection.

I'm a lone parent so no other adult to pick up the slack. DD is 11 and responsible for keeping her room todyish although I still do her laundry and hoover