Mums who work full time long hours. When do you clean?

[Gymmum82]

I’m about to start a full time role I’ll be leaving the house around 5.30-6am returning home around 5.30pm.
I’ll then need to transport the kids to clubs 4 nights a week. Make dinner, make lunches for the next day, eat dinner, do kids homework/reading etc.
So when do I clean?
What tasks should I be doing every day? Do I just leave the mess to build up and do a big clean at weekends? Then where does that leave family time?
Help. What do you do?

We get the kids to pitch in after tea (blended family, a lot between us!) and take on various jobs to do some of the basics. Kids strip their own beds and re-make them (or try to). Older kids (11+) iron their uniforms, we don’t iron anything else. Doesn’t take long after dinner to get tidied through

Get a cleaner or lower your standards. With both parents working outside the home full time a cleaner is a necessary expense to maintain everyone's sanity in my experience.

Robot hoovers! Everything else is a quick wipe down dishwasher loaded etc

Mega, mega declutter.

I recently packed up all the books, ornaments and tat in my living room and kitchen for a minor remodel and it's amazing what a difference it makes. I like my stuff but the non-cluttered look is so serene. I don't even recall what's in half the boxes.

Same with clothing, housewares, toiletries/cleaning supplies/toys/craft supplies/etc. Get rid of everything possible and your cleaning issues will be cut in half.

Pretty much every mum I know who works those kind of full time hours employs a cleaner of some kind. The reality is that life is going to be exhausting and stressful and pretty soul-destroying unless you can either outsource some of it or look to trim tasks down somehow. There's a reason why so many people on this thread are telling you to consider a cleaner!

Cleaning aside there are a couple of other time savers you could consider:

-ditch packed lunches in favour of school ones if it's an option - packed lunches are a right faff and if you didn't have to do those it'd be one less job

-batch cook dinners to freeze and just get something out to defrost for that night's dinner before you go to work in the morning.

I do sympathise with having a partner whose own hours mean week-day assistance with DC activities simply can't happen. It doesn't mean they're a waste of space! My DH leaves the house for his London commute by 6:30am, is rarely back much before 8pm and that's on a good day...and quite often if he does get home by 8 he'll be in his home office on a conference call by 9. It's the reality of doing the job he does. So all the house organisation and ferrying around of DC falls to me, there is no other option, DH physically can't do it (but does his share at weekends). This is why I only work part-time though...

This is excellent. More people should be training kids to help from the earliest ages.

Surely you’re going to need a cleaner. And a big freezer to batch cook so the evenings are relatively manageable? I still feel like this will be jam packed with the various activities. I can’t see how there will be time to cook dinners and lunches and do homework and do the activities in only a few hours of an evening! Can you do any lift sharing with other parents so you aren’t doing every trip every week? You don’t mention the kids ages but I would also maybe look for a babysitter/tutor maybe a student or teen who could come and maybe sit with them to help with homework etc whilst you do mums taxi to the activities or cook! Good luck congrats on the new job x

Your kids are at maximum club age so it gets easier when clubs lessen off into secondary. Unless they do something to a very high standard
I clean as I go.
I’m usually out the house 7.30am-7.30pm.
The kitchen is always kept clean, the kids tidy up after themselves and I never ever leave dishes etc. , everyone must clean the kitchen after use. Clean surfaces
a little whizz round the bathroom for 10 minutes in the morning or when getting ready for bed - sinks and loos.
A lightweight rechargeable hoover so I can whizz round - never do all rooms together as it would take too long - upstairs or downstairs only usually.
No one to leave crap lying around under pain of death.
Everything to have a place.
The kids rooms are messy but as long as the main areas are presentable I’m happy.

deep clean bathrooms and kitchen on alternate weekends. Probably don’t mop as much as I should.

Probably put a wash load on every other morning and sort it in the evening - kids put their own piles away. Occasionally it builds up and I have several loads to do at weekends.

Regularly declutter a room as a weekend activity and get stuff donated to charity - less stuff = less mess.

I meal plan, and take leftovers to work.
I don’t batch cook as the rules of meals we eat don’t lend that well to batch cooking but I have quick “go to” meals in the week and cook more elaborate stuff at weekends. Scrambled egg or beans on toast with some salad veg on the side is fine for a busy night!

Often make up all the packed lunch “bits” on a Sunday and just then have to grab the bag and make a quick fresh sandwich or wrap to add to it. The bits are the non-sandwich parts, so 15 (3 kids x 5) of bags of crisps, yoghurt, piece of fruit etc to add to packed lunches. Kids must empty their own lunch bags etc when they come in and older ones make their own.

I’m non stop from getting home to bed but it’s far better than having it all build up and live in chaos!

our kids are at nursery and we all get home around 6.30 - it’s all a bit mental the wind down to bed is 1 hour of craziness (dinner / bath / bed etc

take turns doing bed time - and the other does a blast tidying up (dishwasher, tidy away all toys etc)
send robot hoover around

we fold laundry while watching tv

kids even though young know to put their shoes away and their bags and coats on their peg as soon as they get in

we have a place for everything in our house though and it makes it very easy to tidy up every evening before bed

It never ceases to amaze me how all these men on mumsnet just have to leave early in the morning and get back late from their oh so important man job.

In answer to your question OP I don’t, my husband organises and manages a cleaner.

You probably need to accept things may be a bit chaotic during the week, but a few things may help.

• We have a fortnightly cleaner. We pay for three hours and get them to focus on bathrooms, and cleaning kitchen.
• We have a robot hoover.
• Storage that is easy for kids to access. So a box each in hall to keep hats, gloves, scarves. A box each to keep school crafts etc brought back from school. Helps to keep some order and stops everyone running around looking for things in the morning.
• A slow cooker that we use most week nights. Limits washing up afterwards and if we’ve now got a really good collection of easy to prep meals that can just be put on as we leave house.
• Bleach toilets once a week as heading to bed.
• A washer with a timer so we can load on a night and time to come on before we come home from work so ready to hang up to fry when we get back, or in the summer early morning so ready to hang up outside first thing.

We have a cleaner once a month.

Online food shop once a week.

Have plenty of uniforms etc.

Put a wash on most days.

We try and have a home for everything, minimise clutter and keep things as tidy as possible.

I’ve also lowered my standards and accept that some weeks things will slip.

If you can’t get a cleaner, get a robot vacuum and mop. You will either need to delegate jobs, or just live in a trashed house. Don’t try and do everything.
Get the kids to do a quick tidy every night before bed. On the weekend get them to fold and put their own washing away.

Talk to your DH and discuss how the housework is going to be shared and come up with a plan. Make sure he is responsible for a significant chore for example the laundry and that means the job is 100% his including the mental load.

If he won’t help, or worse says he will then just doesn’t do it you are going to either just do everything and hate him, or make his life miserable until he does.
If he in financially motivated make his job to pack school lunches. If he doesn’t do it give the kids money to buy lunch. If he hates mess just live in a hovel for a while. Make him do his own laundry. If you need more tips let us know his pet hates. I’m sure mumsnet will come up with some excellent suggestions.

We had a cleaner for years but now Dc are at secondary and don't get toys out all the time I find I can manage it. I like everything 'finished' too but have over the years learned to focus on one area or just accept that improving the state of the house is the best I can do, it'll never be finished. I keep on top of laundry and the kitchen as I go and do floors and bathrooms once a week

Cleaner once a fortnight. She blitzes the house in 4 hours, costs £50. Money well spent!!! We keep on top as best we can the rest of the time. 5 mins hoovering here and there, wiping surfaces down before bed etc. Little bits as we go

I did this for years as a single parent. I cleaned mainly at weekends. I was always tired, and the kids missed out on fun family time.

Have a partner, hire a cleaner, lower your standards, whatever gets you through!

Drop the kids clubs, use the money to pay for a cleaner….you won’t make anyone happy trying to cram all that into your life, kids would far rather see their unstressed mum more regularly ,whenever will you have unpressured family time?

Something has to give here op. Otherwise you are going to be burnt out. I don't know anyone where all the adults (whether 1 or 2) work full time ooh, don't have a cleaner, still get their kids to clubs 4x a week, do hw and reading with them, and one of the adults doesn't pull their weight. I know a very few couples who do it, but they don't have much quality of life tbh and they absolutely both have to do 50/50 of everything otherwise it wouldn't work.

You say getting rid of your lazy husband wont help. I was so so surprised that when I divorced i suddenly found myself with two hours spare every day. 2 hours!! No idea really how he took up so much of my time, an extra load of laundry I guess, more shopping, more thought in ti cooking, picking up shoes here and there. Dont know really. But found myself being able to do a couple more hours at work no problem.

This.

You'll drive yourself into the ground.

Drop your standards and get a fortnightly cleaner.

Google the organised mum method. She has a timetable for half an hour or less a day. Its very thorough so take bits out depending what you think is most important

Just before guests are due.

Dh gets up at 6am and empties dishwasher and sets out breakfast things organises snacks and drinks

i hang out / put in dryer laundry that I put on to run overnight and finish at 6.30am

at other end of day - I put on laundry before I go to bed, dh cleans kitchen and puts on dishwasher at 10pm at night

no cleaning is done by us other than keeping kitchen surfaces sanitary *

cleaner comes 4 hours a week
ironing lady comes 4 hours a week and does a top up vacuum in those 4 hours too. Before we had ironing lady the shirts went to the dry cleaners every week

Lower your standards! Robot hoover, fortnightly cleaner, kitchen (dishwasher, wipe surfaces, tidy and empty bin) daily; everything else at the weekend. Mine have enough uniform for the week so can all be washed at the weekend.

Have a cleaner every other week! I do this for 2 hours she charges £47 - I usually just wipe over in the bathroom/toilet between her visits

I always found the hardest thing to fit in was cleaning the bathroom. So I would pay someone to do that, all the floors and change the beds.

I used to finish earlier on Fridays so when I came in I didn’t sit down, I just tidied and made sure all rubbish was out of the house, put uniforms in the wash, clean and tidy the kitchen etc. then something easy for tea. It’s much easier in the summer though. As much as you can do so it’s not creeping into weekends. Always have a wash ready to go in the machine.

Can you do swops with another parent for the clubs, do a week each or one picks up and one drops off? Seems like a lot of nights to be out. That’s what would really help. Can husband pick up on his way home?