Mums who work full time long hours. When do you clean?

[Gymmum82]

I’m about to start a full time role I’ll be leaving the house around 5.30-6am returning home around 5.30pm.
I’ll then need to transport the kids to clubs 4 nights a week. Make dinner, make lunches for the next day, eat dinner, do kids homework/reading etc.
So when do I clean?
What tasks should I be doing every day? Do I just leave the mess to build up and do a big clean at weekends? Then where does that leave family time?
Help. What do you do?

I don’t. Every 3 or 4 months I do a real deep clean, generally when DH and child are away together for a night. Laundry, cooking, shopping, bins, worst of bathroom and kitchen and odd hoover get done from time to time. I tried a cleaner once but they weren’t very proactive or realistic about what they could get done and it just seemed like too much hard work to manage; another job. Also, quite reasonably (!) cleaners clean don’t tidy up and that’s half the battle.

Things like decorating don’t get done either. Odd jobs and basic gardening do. I also care for an elderly relative and clean and garden there. It frankly gets me down. I’m happier when the house is clean and organised but sadly it’s survival and until some other things change in my life, this is it.

This sounds balanced. Basically when you went full time then the change in income should be allocated towards the cleaner

Also you will then still have

Cooking and food shopping and clearance
Laundry and ironing
Life and kids admin
Garden
DIY

Which is enough!

When do the kids do their homework or playing / relaxing?

My mum used to do kitchen as she went along. Upstairs one night. Living room one morning.
The place was always clutter free.
If it wasn't in a cupboard it was in danger of going in the bin. Clutter free!

I wish I could be as ruthless with the clutter and as organised as her. I'm currently eyeing up robot hoovers which will kind of force me to manage the clutter. And the lego

Other tip is to buy non-iron uniform for kids and clothes that don’t crease for yourself. I batch cook too but it’s a PITA reheating food in the microwave for the whole family. Sometimes I think I could have done it as fast from scratch. Primary, and definitely KS1 when it was free!, I encouraged school meals. Secondary it is too expensive and poor value for money so I do a lunch. Two times a week it’s a pastry plus fruit and
veg. The other days a wrap. I hate making sandwiches with bread. Seems to make so much mess and take ages.

Other tips from a family of 8...

Watch for places where you can eliminate steps and don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

At breakfast our dishwasher gets left open and the kids (and adults) all dump their finished plates in the bin and set them straight in the dishwasher. Handy bottles of all-surface cleaner in the kitchen and each bathroom for quick cleans may result in streaks but take a fraction of the time vs fetching a bin of supplies from somewhere else. Bath towels and pyjamas don't need to be washed after each use. Give each person a hamper and wash as much laundry as you possibly can by family member on cold - no sorting, it gets dumped from their hamper into the washer into the dryer and then back into their hamper for them to put away. Get iron-free uniforms for the DC if at all possible.

Batch-cook simple things like meats and roasted veg a couple of times per week to use for flexible meals. I've never loved batch cooking full meals, but batch cooking the building blocks is extremely helpful. If you've got roasted chicken or seared strip steak or meatballs and roasted veg plus basic pantry staples (rice/pasta/tortillas/bread) and a variety of sauces then you have a bunch of quick meal options. We eat a lot of build-your-own salad, tacos or bowls in our house. Put a bin with sandwich/wrap supplies and cut veg & fruit in your fridge and a bin in the cupboard with snacks, then after dinner/tea set them on your counter and tell your DC to empty their lunch box from the day and pack it for tomorrow. Made beds are a shallow moral victory, nothing more.

Don't get overly ambitious with organization systems (especially for the DC) that will end up taking you more time than they save... a mat or storage tote by the door for shoes isn't cute but it's efficient, and toys can be tossed in bins. Have backpacks live where your DC do homework or unpack them.

Do have a post-dinner/tea checklist and a morning checklist for each child. It certainly doesn't mean they won't need chivvying, but they can see what they still need to do and it's less mental load as a parent to be able to point to a list.

Get a cleaner.

I would definitely cut back in other areas to have a cleaner, eg husband and i taking packed lunch to work.

Where r ur kids going 4 times a week?

Cleaner - even now I only work pt!

Do less cleaning

I agree with both the above. I don't do any cleaning if I can help it except obvious things. It's a waste of time. I did have a cleaner when I was a working mum (part time hours back then), and it made a nice change to come home to a gleaming house with everything tiday, but it didn't last long. I did quite enough without fretting about a bit of dust (or a lot). Life's too short.

Everyone learns to be tidy. DH and kids included. No eating outside the dining table or kitchen. You take something out, you put it back in. Everyone makes their bed in the morning. Run the dishwasher after dinner and empty it before going to bed, even if half empty, so no dirty dishes in the sink in the morning because dishwater hasn't been emptied.
Buy a stick vacuum cleaner and keep it nearby. After meals, it takes 30 seconds to make a difference.
Eat like a French. Pan, butter, a steak, lettuce and some couscous. Dinner ready in 15 minutes.
You have very long hours out of the house, you need to be strict about state of the house. Coat hanging, shoes put away where they should, have a 10 min session where everyone does something. Sort bathrooms, empty washing machine. There are 8 hands in the house, that helps.

I stay on top of day to day stuff as best I can and have a cleaner once a week to do the whole house, as I really don't want to clean at the weekend! I also assign one 5 min daily task each to 2 children (they have the same task everyday for a week), e.g. wipe down downstairs loo and change towels. I've also lowered my standards a bit!

Just fit in as and when. I'm getting up shortly. I wiped several cupboard doors waiting for kettle to boil at 6 - I'll hang washing, put away yesterdays, empty dishwasher, clean hob as trivets were in dishwasher, I'll mop kitchen then shower. Then wake son, leave for work 7.30, partner will take him to school.

I currently work part time and have done since kids. So naturally all the cleaning has fallen to me. He’s never had to do it. I hope he will step up. It’s a conversation we need to have and we will because I’m not continuing to do it all.

Financially with the COL I don’t think we’ll be able to afford a cleaner, the reason I’m needing to work full time is because our mortgage term is set to end in January and it’s going to increase considerably so I need to bring in some extra. It may well transpire that we can afford a cleaner. It’s something to look in to. I’m not being financially controlled, I have access to all our joint money.

Full time working mum used to do the 12 hours out, now lucky enough to work from home but I found
Slow cookers help with dinners
beans / egg on toast or hot dogs on a rushed evening.

getting the kids involved with jobs while chatting about their days.
i find making them put their own washing away a good job for the kids, then they know where their own stuff is.
having a bit of extra uniform / sports kits helps in case you don’t get to that never ending pile of washing until the weekend.

remember to hug them - sometimes it’s easy to get into the military routine of work, club, bed, sometimes I’d forget to be mummy not just the worker / chauffeur 🥲

Here are some things that help me which might help you, although my situation is slightly different:

• No one sits down in our house until everything is ready to go for the next day. The minute we get in, school/nursery bags are emptied and sorted, older one is sat down at the table doing homework, I empty the lunch and snack boxes and wash them, rinse water bottles, hang up uniform that is being reworn and look out shirts/pants/socks for the next day. Shoes wiped and on the shoe rack ready to go, coats folded on top of them. Homework and any school forms completed and put back in the bag and snack packed so I only have to add the water bottle and lunch box the next morning. No one gets any fun or TV in our house until everything is ready to go at the front door for the next day. This has been a complete game-changer and largely removed the morning chaos.
• I make dinner while older one is doing homework (always something quick - scrambled eggs/fish fingers/leftovers) and clean and hoover the kitchen at the same time. Empty the dishwasher. We tidy up any pens/toys/stuff before having dinner. After dinner, dishwasher on if full, otherwise left for breakfast plates the next morning.
• Wash on before bed. If we've had a laundry pile-up, a wash goes on as soon as we come home as well and I hang that one up before bed. So 1-2 washes on a day. There's always something to wash - sheets, towels, darks, whites, delicates. If the washing is overwhelming, we take it to the launderette on Saturday morning and blitz it while the kids play at the playground opposite.
• Handheld vacuum in the living-room - we vacuum as we go. Kids find it really fun. The big vacuum-cleaner only comes out once a week.
• Mornings - any wet laundry is hung out to dry or I put a drying cycle on depending on the weather.
• Just before we leave the house - breakfast plates in the dishwasher and dishwasher on. I also stick some toilet cleaner down the toilets. Bathroom sinks wiped.
• Probably your kids are too old for this, but I clean and tidy the bathroom while my kids are in the bath. Once this is done, I fold laundry in the hall just outside the bathroom. All clean laundry is dumped in a massive hamper in the corner of our upstairs hall.
• Not for everyone (!), but I leave an old toothbrush and scrubbing brush in the shower and clean the shower while I'm having my shower.

I think the best thing is to use the time that you have.

• Put a wash on before you leave the house.
• Homework for each child done while the other child is at their clubs. Always make sure you have everything to hand for this - full pencil case, colouring pencils, reading-book, scissors.
• Life admin done while kids are at clubs. Send your DH a list of a few jobs you'd like him to do when he gets home.
• Either reheat leftovers during the week or do a quick 'beige' tea with a few boiled veggies. No complicated cooking with lots of clean-up.
• "Train" your DH (maybe wrong word, but you know what I mean) to stick some toilet cleaner down the toilets and wipe the sinks before he and the kids leave the house. Not coming back home to dirty toilets and grubby sinks makes a huge difference, I find.
• Get a couple of handheld hoovers for the kids and send them round the house with those and a wet cloth each to blitz the mess. This one is seriously popular in our house - both the kids actually seem to enjoy it.

At the weekend, have an hour's 'family clean' for everyone, not just you. The most important thing is that everyone including your DH participates.

• Beds changed and sheets washed.
• Bathrooms cleaned.
• Kids tidy their room and pick a few other chores to help with.
• Batch cook a few simple things for the next week.
• Complete hoover.
• Clean out and reorganise fridge.
• Floors mopped.
• Sort any build-up of post.
• Tidy messy corners - if your house is really messy, target 2-3 per week to start with.
• Laundry sorted.

@CrispieCake You and your family sound amazing! Excellent advice!

Where do you find the energy & discipline?

@CrispieCake i second the handheld hoover. No one wants to drag
out a huge hoover however I restrict it to spot cleaning and give firm instructions NOT to do anything other than short bursts. They have small motors and overheat/burn out easily. Some suck as they DONT suck well! I have had a Black and Decker for years and it’s great.

On the subject of burn out, whilst I love your routine and dedication, by the time I get in the priority has to be FOOD to rid the hanger, and sleep.

I also batch cook however, as I said above, the microwave warm up is tedious and long and the batch cook takes up weekend time. I do it more because it’s part of meal planning but I am pondering on whether to do a bit less.

I’d also suggest the odd service wash. Our local laundry folds items beautifully so they can go straight away. It’s done by weight so it pays to send smaller items not sheets or towels. This has helped me out of a hole before. Since I did a fire training course, I try not to leave laundry on over night or when I am out.

Our fixed mortgage term is ending, which was fixed at a very low rate so unfortunately it’s necessary. Our mortgage is looking like it will almost double

I suspect (like many, perhaps) that I have some form of ADHD because if I don't keep on top of it, the house descends into complete chaos and kids end up 20 minutes late to school/nursery without their homework and a snack.

What I've been trying to do for the past few months which has improved things somewhat is work on the "flashpoints" which delay us or make life difficult. So every time I come across something that is consistently causing me grief or stress, I make a note on my phone to sort it out.

Things like:

• Running out of toilet paper. At the beginning of the week, I check there are 3-4 rolls next to every toilet so we don't run out and I don't get distracted by kids shouting for me.
• Not having all the swim stuff ready for swimming lessons. Now I put it straight from the wash into swim bags hanging in the hall (which already have goggles/hair bands/swim nappies in them) so the bags are ready to go.
• My older one delaying bedtime by wanting a drink. Now he's got a water bottle by his bed that I fill while he's in the bath.
• Combing hair. I never used to have a comb to hand, but now I've chucked a couple in with the bath toys so that's no problem.
• Forgetting to brush kids teeth in the morning - we have toothbrushes upstairs and downstairs and I've chucked some in the car in case we're really in a hurry or don't remember until we're on our way.
• Keys and spare keys - I keep at least 2 sets on a shelf next to the door in case I've put mine down somewhere strange and can't find them as we're rushing out.

I find that everyone has different "pressure points" in their day, so it's just about working through them and trying to sort them out.

The other thing I'd recommend before you start is having a complete clear-out of your lunch-box/tupperware/plastic box collection.

Food boxes - have one standard size that fits in your fridge and ensure you have lids for all of them. Recycle any which are missing lids.

Lunchboxes/snack-boxes - put everything you need for the week in a box on a corner of the kitchen surface so it's all to hand when you're making packed lunches. If you don't have enough for the whole week or one for each day, ensure you have at least one spare - e.g. water bottles, in case things are lost or not washed in time.

I did this a couple of weeks ago and it's already saved me so much time.

One does football and dance. The other does gymnastics and brownies

@CrispieCake your advice is amazing. Thank you. You sound so super organised. I wish I could be like that