Mums who work full time long hours. When do you clean?

[Gymmum82]

I’m about to start a full time role I’ll be leaving the house around 5.30-6am returning home around 5.30pm.
I’ll then need to transport the kids to clubs 4 nights a week. Make dinner, make lunches for the next day, eat dinner, do kids homework/reading etc.
So when do I clean?
What tasks should I be doing every day? Do I just leave the mess to build up and do a big clean at weekends? Then where does that leave family time?
Help. What do you do?

He isn’t home in time. Clubs start at 5.30 and he’s not back until 6.30-7

So do the kids go to nursery/school at 7am?!

2 or 5 minute jobs every day slotted in around other things - eg clean sink while brushing teeth, empty dishwasher while making breakfast. Cleaning product and cloth etc on hand in multiple rooms.

No shoes or dogs upstairs and no carpets downstairs. Good vacuums (two)

DH does his part (not always to my standards but good enough). Training up the kids. Kitchen and bathrooms the priority. Every other room is second priority.

Cleaner twice a month - deep clean and change bedding etc.

Above all? Low(er) standards.

The house is ok but there are grubby nooks and crannies that I just live with and nobody else seems to see or care about.

The house can be sparkling once the kids have grown up and left home.

Because he’s quite lazy and I’ve always worked part time since the kids were born so it seemed fair I took on the house responsibilities as he was at work. Obviously that will need to change. But making him change will be tough

You do a bit as you go. I have tidied up and put a wash on this evening. Now about to make packed lunch. I get five sets of clothes out and lay out five piles for dd ready for Monday. I make sure all my work clothes are ready by Sunday. I make my breakfast the night before. I don't do basic cleaning - bathroom and floors once a week.

They leave the house for breakfast club at 7 yes

This sounds like a great idea but I'm amazed that you can get nursery age kids to comply with this! Mine would only last five minutes or so before mithering one of us about something, even at primary age.

I get very jealous when I hear my neighbours cleaner hoovering every Tuesday.

Both DH and I work FT, but WFH. I have a robot hoover that runs around downstairs every day and I pop it in a different room upstairs when I think about it. Put dirty washing in the machine the night before, set it going in the morning and hang out in the evening. Use the slow cooker quite often. DH takes the DC out for a bit on a Saturday morning so I can get on with a few bits.

Has he considered a flexible working request so that he can do some of the morning drops and after school collections?
Everything else you either get a cleaner or draw up a list of everything which needs doing and you both do it in the evenings or weekend.

1. ditch the lazy arse husband
2. halve the clubs ( they don’t need tons of clubs
3. do bits as you go. It’s not that much. I was a working lone parent, I did a bit of something every day ( laundry, dusting, vacuuming) and about an hour each weekend day with the kids either helping or in front of the telly. 8 and 10 are old enough to help- they do their rooms, they can dust, vacuum, hang washing. Stick some music on and make it part of the weekend routine.

Seriously, if you have a husband and “ he won’t” pull his weight he’s really not worth the space he takes up in the house.

It's very hard. I only work two days a week yet I still struggle to keep on top of the house sometimes. It is a big 5 bed farmhouse though with high ceilings. Dust for days.
Even I'm considering getting a cleaner, as there's no way I'd be able to keep on top of it when I increase my hours.

Just done this and have three horses too. Not coping well at all. House a tip so will be investing in a cleaner. I don’t have time to do anything other than washing as the horses take up that ‘housework’ time. I say invest in a cleaner if you can.

I work 35 hours DH does 38.

It only works by us both doing our share, not having too much commute time.

I wfh 3/5, DH wfh the other 2. I do long hours the days in the office so I can work reduced hours on wfh days. If we couldn't do this, I'd reduce my hours or change job to ensure at least 2 days a week wfh.

We don't use breakfast club, whoever is wfh drops to school (5 min walk).

Music practice, reading & homework all happen in the mornings before school (kids are up and dressed at 7am).

Swimming/sport happen on the weekend.

I pay a cleaner for 3 hours every friday

He does take them to link club every morning. But it’s not the type of job where he’d get flexible working approved

I don’t know, I didnt live in a big house but I honestly never found it that hard. Maybe I do have low standards but my house was always pretty tidy.. never felt like I needed a cleaner!
I definitely think being a lone parent OR having a decent partner helps.I couldn’t stand to have any dead weight it would drag me down.
DP is In hospitality and regularly works 50+ hours. He’s always happy to cook/ clean/ shop. I’ve not been well and he just picks up the slack no drama. It’s one of the reasons I choose to keep him..

Never my house is a tip

Robot Hoover or robot mop/floor duster.
The organised mum method is supposed to be good.
also lower your standards

Prioritise kitchen, bathrooms and clothes washing. Do a bit every time you get a few minutes spare. Lowered standards help too.

What does he do?

Well if I did that then I really would be doing everything alone and we’d be a lot worse off.

They don’t do tonnes of clubs. They do 2 each. But are on separate nights. So that’s 4 nights out. I won’t ask them to give up things they enjoy that are beneficial for them.

I will try and do a bit as I go. I’m not very good at doing that. I think I feel like I need to completely finish a whole room. Which just isn’t feasible midweek

So you are both working out of the house for 12 hours a day, 5 days a week? And you want the kids to go to clubs 4 nights a week, and have no cleaner, and your DH clearly isn’t going to do much.

What you are describing is not really possible IMO. You’re trying to fit in everything from when you were part time, but with extra working days. Something has to give or you will burn out.

Options:

• Spend money on a cleaner.

• Hire an after school babysitter to take the kids to their clubs.

• Kids drop their clubs.

• Sacrifice family time at the weekends to batch cook, tidy and clean.

• You or DH reduce hours, and/or try to WFH some days so you at least get the commute time back and can bung some laundry on.

I used to leave at 7am and get back hopefully by 7pm.
Dh the same

3 kids doing music and sports
Long commute various trains and walking etc

Dh and I did whatever we could at the weekend,( I wasn’t and refused to be in any way in control of cleaning including stressing about it )
At the weekends there wasn’t much time really as matches and practices for sports were also then

To make life easier we didn’t have carpets as solid wood seemed easier to clean
Everyone put their own washing in the washing machine and took it out
We took turns cooking and washing up ( dh and I then kids washing up when old enough to not break everything )
Kids had to tidy up after themselves every day, from very young
When kids reached about 16 they did a one night cook for everyone once a week
Everyone was expected to tidy and clean after themselves after using the bathroom
Dh and I shared listening to them read etc. dh was better with English / humanities support and I with maths and science.

Apart from supporting and feeding the kids, which is essential, nothing else is really that important …….if the house doesn’t get dusted and the floor cleaned every week that’s life.

Dunno but I work part time and I'm way too exhausted to do actual cleaning. I do basics (washing up, laundry, clean toilet with quick brush if obviously messy). DC does dusting and hoovers centre of living room if nagged once a fortnight.

Cleaner

I live in a shit tip all week and try to sort it out at the weekend