Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

Susan Well done keeping on top of it all and handling 'the incident!' These things are such time thieves. Also well done on keeping going on Mum's window and good to hear DD sounds on board with picking up some things needing doing.

Very torn at the moment, need every minute to work on house sorting out for builders access, but aunts cant entirely wait and the additional work I've taken on is both labour and travel intensive and keeps expanding.
On the other hand it's come just in time, as after paying everything I'm very close to running out of money for basic living completely and am on half a tank of fuel.

Cleared up Aunts garden again, invading sods had broken a couple of bottles everywhere. Cut it back a bit while over there, and bagged up some sacks of earth that they've split sitting on. Has had to come over to me as I don't have the time to help with what she was intending with it, and it's causing too many problems for her. Now sitting in vehicle waiting for me to face dragging it out.
Worryingly after the recent heavy rain her wall is showing damp again.

This morning was vehicle repairs, about to have bath, then off to paid work, but got launderette done yesterday, after unearthing lots of bulbs from huge wooden planter that has to be removed for builders. Suspect it will fall apart when moving it tbh.
In between that and paid work shift, did get down to the main storage unit and with Ds and get a big heavy item out which is being hired out for a week as part of new work, Got it down to them and installed ready for today, and managed to maneuver sofa to better place in unit it so not completely in the way - small win.
One batch of boxes has arrived, new temporary unit is sorted and paid for, just have to find padlock, but am doing so much paid work I doubt I can do that much with it before the end of the week.

Wow. You are so busy Elle!

So between DD and I we have done a couple of loads of washing up and put one load away.

DD has put two basket fulls of washing away

Booked holiday for next year.

Made ds breakfast.

Just waiting on ex to pick them up when he feels like...

Stupidly busy tbh. There aren't enough hours in any day. It's hard to manage and taking it's toll.

Well done sorting the washing, and well done DD! Nice to hear about booking holidays!

Yesterday:
driving 90 miles
Top up shop
Put away some washing up.
Three loads of washing. Two hung up.

Today:
first half of 90 mile driving
One load of washing hung
Chicken-shitty boiler suit put in wash.
Hunted down a letter from council (2) and filled in form on line.
Tried to contact council 1 and failed again.
Did some sorting out in the hall and hoovered a grand total of 4 square feet of floor! Took about an hour and to the untrained eye it still looks no different.
Tomorrow is more driving to meet window fitter at mum's.

Holiday booking is a chore. The holiday packing and organising is also a chore. The holiday itself isn't much of a holiday with two autistic teens. I get an few minutes here and there to relax but a change of scene is nice. At least this year it was quick and easy to book. Hoping we have chosen ok.

Tidied and cleaned a little in kitchen. Hoovered living room where I could 🤭. Did a little tidying in middle bedroom. Current rating quite messy but not as horrific and out of control as usual so quite pleased.

Have been keeping on top of dishes quite well which pleased with too.

Beyond busy with work and life, still chipping away at clearance of hoarding parent’s so mulling over taking time for my own house this weekend.

I did get a charity collection out, a freecycle crate out and put full bins out so that’s something.

@BlackeyedSusan sending strength for the driving all the time to support others. I hope the change of scene is a tonic (often holidays mean I can enjoy an uncluttered space!).

Well done Talk!

mines bad, very bad.

TalkToTheHand123 Well done!
FiniteSagacity Same work issues- well done with your 'out's.'
Susan You sound pretty busy yourself!

Managed clear up of aunts garden, found and installed padlock, and a small amount of things to storage unit.
Clearing out everything from latest work I've been doing and prepped large heavy item that was hired out, to take to storage later.
Also clearing out from making space later today as they are on the verge of collapse almost daily now, and having to cut my losses as stress is making it unworkable.

DD and I have moved an enormous desk away from the window for a repair at mum's. Both exhausted now.

I've got rid of some paperwork at mum's.

My flat needs sorting as it has been abandoned recently.

Susan well done on sorting Mum's paperwork and to you and DD in getting the desk shifted. With you on the exhaustion front.
Good luck with carving out some time to spend on your own home. It is so hard balancing everyone's needs, and so easy to let our own take a back seat.

Update - large hired out item is back in storage. 95% of the 'makers space' is cleared out - small amount I couldn't get at but not that important if I loose it because they close down overnight. I've given up my space even though I'm owed use because it's all become pretty untenable and nerve wracking.
Everything's had to come home to be sorted before I can send it to storage or dispose of it. More temporary repairs on vehicle.

More garden attacking - resulting in three large sacks of chopped up material gone as well as lots of tiny annoying rubbish. Running bodge repairs on greenhouse.
Cut up some furniture that was beyond repair and four large sacks have gone to the dump and recycling.

I really need to be focused just on clearing stuff out, but the edge of the ceilings of two rooms and a corridor have been developing damp and mold unexpectedly which was added to builders list.. But after heavy rainstorms, woke up yesterday to all back windows covered in filth, and dirty water on the windowsills inside.

Something appears to have gone wrong with the guttering relatively suddenly (my bets are on rubbish from flats above us) Whatever the cause it's clear that water's getting in and it's affected the window frames.

Scrubbed up windows frames and doors at back of house, washed outside of windows but wasn't able to put enough pressure on the pole so needs redoing. Need to also do most of the insides today and big clean up of kitchen windowsills.
Cleaned bedroom windows inside, and cleaned mold from edge of ceiling as best as could.
Started rubbing down internal paintwork on bedroom because if I don't get some form of sealant on there fast I'm going to have much worse problems.`
Taken down curtains and put into soak with some bleach. Wash them out, and take to launderette later today. Starting shattered.

How, precisely do you bleach curtains...
I have the sheets that block summer heat waves that need bleaching but I've never done it before.

In short it depends what exactly you're bleaching and why. IE the material it's made of, some are unsuitable for standard household bleach but oxygen bleach can be used, some just not, and if you're talking yellowing stripes, general greying,ageing, minor mold spots, out break of mold spots, serious mold all over etc.

'Sheets that block summer heat waves' sound like they could be specialist plasticized material? Or something like shower curtains. Or equally, cotton, canvas etc.

TBH I do it all by eye, the state of a thing and what color the water goes, and when it darkens, to make decisions, on bleach/water ratios, and soaking times.

You may have old bottles of thin bleach around, in which case procedure differs, but generally nowadays it's thick bleach available only.

This is for white/cream cotton/canvas, and thick bleach only:

If you know the material is basically bleach safe and its naturally a light color, then basics are 1st) Do it when no kids around! A big plastic bucket in the bath, big wooden spoon or similar stiring stick. Rubber gloves or suffer the consequences to hands and nails, and cuts.
Wear old clothes in case of splashes, and remove things like bathmats or towels from vicinity.

I'm making an assumption there may be some mold spots in which case:
In the bucket; 1/2 litre of bleach to 1,5 litres of v.hot water stirred, then push any parts with mold spots into mixture, pummel/stir with spoon thoroughly, pull material out (watch your eyes) and dump in bath.
Immediately add another litre of v.hot water to bucket and put material back in, pummel a bit, leave for a couple of hours. If the water has gone properly grey or worse, then chuck and repeat, but stage two add a little more bleach and leave for several hours.

If the 1st step was just slightly greyed water, then add 2 to 3 litres very hot water and a little Ariel or similar, leave for a few hours and wash.

Wash out bleach thoroughly - it both eats and stains material if left in. If possible hang to dry in sunshine, but that's often impossible.

The longer you leave material in a bleach solution the shorter it's eventual lifespan, so if this is something you are likely to do annually - learn how long to leave soaking, before no further benefit, and remove then.

On the other hand somewhere on our threads from a couple of years ago, are aunts terrifying elderly mold affected (especially the linings) curtains, that she didn't want to replace. I soaked those overnight in a stronger solution approx 50/50 bleach and water, several times before I got clean enough water to soak in Ariel and just wash them, and they turned out amazingly well, and are still going strong enough - so it's all relative.

Shower curtains roughly 1/8th of a litre of bleach to 5 of very hot water for half a day and some squeezing/ pummeling.

HTH, shout if it doesn't make sense or it's another material.

Progress update: All windows and frames, but one (caged corridor security window) are cleaned inside and out, and insides repainted. Things on window sills wiped down enough and put to one side while we see if there's more to happen with guttering. Hopefully that was all of whatever is up there being washed down by the storm.
All curtains bleached, washed and dried. One semicircular type curtain rail broke it's wall fittings when I tried to put the curtains back up using a pole and got it caught, so all but that window (and the encased one) are back up and done. Fortunately main curtains for the room with the broken rail are a separate track.

Small number of items have made it to the bin or recycling during process.

Standard family launderette happened and an extra one for curtains. Unimpressed to find Ds hadn't included bed sheets as allegedly too busy to change his bed.🙁(tbf is working a lot, but...)

Discovered remains of a sweet, that was melted to just a pool of sugar, hiding at the bottom of a curtain! Removed and carpet scrubbed. Need it to dry to find out if all the sugar is out of the carpet.
Cleaned up all mess and equipment, paint brushes containers etc, made by all the work, and have now run out of reasons not to be packing everything up and taking to storage! Going to start on it after a bath, as spattered and exhausted.
(everything from getting curtains down and up, to washing and painting frames has to be done with things on poles & wheelchair, so end up wearing a fair amount and battered!)

@Elleherd well done for all that, you are amazing. Although I also completely relate to prioritising difficulty and it almost being easier to have a burst of productivity on anything when there’s something else that needs to be done… hence lots done at hoarding parent’s house and very little at tackling my own (harder to deal with my own mess).

Small pile out for charity collection today. I do find the deadline helpful but conversely always spot things I wish I’d added straight after they’ve collected!

Desperately need to join you guys. Terrible hoarder and procrastinator. Loathe waste & can think of multiple reasons for not getting rid of anything. My father was the same if not worse and I've got all his stuff too.... Will go back to previous threads for tips and motivation. Good to be among like-minded people; the types who say (smugly) 'a place for everything and everything in its place' send me over the edge. Would that my brain was wired like that!!!

Welcome @NotdeadyetBOING, move a pile off a chair and bring yourself over to join us. I too have a hoarding parent, currently clearing his house and trying not to bring more stuff into my own (which is already too full of stuff). Totally relate to loathing waste - and recycling guilt.

I’ve renewed my ‘take your house back’ membership because it’s $10 for another year and I have made some baby steps. Tomorrow is another day.

I've done "nothing" today.
"Nothing" includes:
Driving 90 miles. About three hours on college runs!
Getting petrol.
Getting cash out for workman
Getting ds breakfast and pudding
Two loads of washing done, three hung up, some took down.
Rinsing some recycling bagging up and sending down with ex
Contacting workman
Driving extra to avoid roadworks
Getting out two sets of ds's clothes
Picked up 4 things from "the heap" wiped . (Need to put away)
Wiped shopping (autism) and put some away.
Sorted out some of last year's(ie13 months ago) holiday washing up bowl of random shite. (Last school year was hell with EB school avoidance and very little got done)
Collecting ds and delivering to dad's
Checking whether football was on. (No)
Checked letters.
Read school email.

It's slow progress.

FiniteSagacity well done with subscription decision and charity collection.
I know that constant discovery of what else I could have included after gathering together anything for any purpose! Every step whatever size is another step forward. Dividing our energies is hard.

NotdeadyetBOING Welcome. We all use the threads in different ways but ultimately most for accountability, charting progress, self examination, and being able to not just be alone drowning in our battles. Probably the biggest tip would be do something, anything, towards a better future and take note of what you're doing. We are all very quick to see what we haven't achieved, and forget what we have much more quickly, and it turns out it isn't helpful at all.

BlackeyedSusan Yes to those 'I've done nothing today' days, actually being full of a lot.

Most of afternoon yesterday was packing a few boxes, cleaning, (useful but definitely diversionary) and mainly getting useful things towards packing and moving together, which is good but several days after when it should have been done and a lot more 'organizing to do' than actual doing.
Pain ended play early but woke up worrying about it all but I'm not even able to get myself up to carry on, so it's early hours updating and have to wait a few hours to get started again.

Morning all. BABY STEPS, but managed to chuck out some bits of plastic cords that I'd kept (wait for it) because the cats like to chase them so it's handy to have them to hand just in case we need to coax them out of somewhere fast. This is the level I'm dealing with... Wondering about towels. I have about a million of them. Many have been shredded by cats, but am loathe to chuck them - mainly because nice new ones will just end up the same anyway. So I buy new ones and am unable to chuck old ones. What is wrong with my head????

Boing I'd cut up the raggedy towels and use them for cleaning cloths for disgusting jobs, the ones where you look at the rag after and think no way is that going into my washing machine. Towels make excellent cleaners and you can chuck each filthy square guilt free afterwards.

NotdeadyetBOING It is a mindset that many of us are stuck in. For some it is habits, for others a serious MH condition that rules life, and then many layers between, for many. It is as they say OK not to be OK if you find yourself on the more difficult end of it all. With thought and work it can get better.

Well done shedding the plastic cords. Many of us here understand this level of keeping.

You don't need to answer or respond to anything anything you don't find useful or want to.

You sound like one issue is 'it could be useful'. If that's correct then it can be worth looking at just how much difficulty are things causing vs how much actual use are they being, and when will they be useful? Many things here have spent decades waiting to be useful, when they could be being useful for someone else, somewhere else, rather than me having to be everyone's 24/7 free chandlers merchant .

I like BlueSummerBaby's idea, but if you can't do that, many animal shelters would love to give them another life.

I'm intrigued as to whats going on that gets the towels shredded. I have a vision of bathed soapy cats taking revenge...
What could you do to have unshredded comfortable towels for your use?

Yesterday was another three sacks of greenery cut and out before the rain started. I have to keep at it out there, so I can move what is in the way for builders further back from where they will need work access. (which seems to be everywhere!)
Lot of sorting out and a little bit of packing yesterday. Not nearly enough though. I have to step it all up several notches today, pain or no pain.
Somehow I've managed to misplace the parcel tape at the wrong moment too.

It might be useful is so difficult to overcome.

Yesterday:
110 miles driving
Cleared the weeds on mum's path so it looks tidier.
Glazier mended window.

love the image of the potential cats angry at the wet soapy indignity of it all

done the uni drop off, hundreds of miles of motorway and traffic jams but
managed to stop off on way back and see sibling , clear some stuff from deceased parent’s flat and do some of the executor paperwork so that saved a 6 hour round trip.
relate to the chandler’s shop vibe, realised yesterday that we also have enough craft materials to keep a primary school going, so I’ll be whittling that down so

even the magic pavement hasn’t wanted some of my weird things recently, will take to tip but at least I tried

a success was taking all the coins and stamps to a dealer who confirmed that it’s not worth much so left the box of coins with him for a small sum and have a plan to use the picture stamps for postage and maybe make collages with the unusable pretty ones, and have already taken first day covers to charity shop as dealer suggested as they have some value but not enough to bother auctioning as an individual. So I have kept some but the volume is about 15% of what has been kept since a bereavement over 20 years ago.

just keeping going and asking myself ‘would I buy this now? Is this something I will want to spend time using? Is this really better than the space it is taking up? Could someone else use this soon? Could I buy it again second hand if I really needed it?’ Etc
Good to hear about everyone’s progress particularly the hard-fought small wins !